Music General : Todd in the Shadows: Worst songs of 2016.
Re: Todd in the Shadows: Worst songs of 2016.
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I don't know if it made the year-end chart, but I would have instantly added "H.O.L.Y." by Florida Georgia Line after I heard it for the first time last week. It's a [expletive of choice here] Faith+1 song, except I think it's also the exact opposite at the same time. Instead of being a regular love song changed to be about/to Jesus, it's a regular love song loaded with religious terms and phrases to trick people into thinking it's a Jesus song, but I'm pretty sure it is about a girl (I've never heard ANYBODY call Jesus "Babe"). Ironically, I think more non-Christians think it's CCM; as far as I can tell, it didn't place on any Christian chart.
That rant aside, I assume I know what you mean by "(I KNEW IT!)", and I knew it too. Something about how it's so simultaneously familiar, dead-boring and flat-out terrible just makes it a perfect storm of everything Todd hates most. Given the font he chose, I expected Twenty One Pilots to show up somewhere; I'm completely neutral on the fact that they didn't.
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That rant aside, I assume I know what you mean by "(I KNEW IT!)", and I knew it too. Something about how it's so simultaneously familiar, dead-boring and flat-out terrible just makes it a perfect storm of everything Todd hates most. Given the font he chose, I expected Twenty One Pilots to show up somewhere; I'm completely neutral on the fact that they didn't.
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Re: Todd in the Shadows: Worst songs of 2016.
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He somewhat bashed the Twenty One Pilots song, "Stressed Out" in his review for "7 Years", but said even that seemed better and more thoughtful by comparison to Lukas Graham giving himself a musical blowjob. Talk about damning it with fine praise.
I'm not a huge fan of the song, but there were a number of things in Todd's review of it that I disagreed with. I don't think there should be a "correct" way to sing a song about this subject matter. I actually enjoy "Panda". I have absolutely no problem believing that he smoked pot and drank liquor at 11. I know plenty of people who did at that age. I'm not saying it was right or cool, I just don't get why Todd finds it hard to believe.
I'm not a huge fan of the song, but there were a number of things in Todd's review of it that I disagreed with. I don't think there should be a "correct" way to sing a song about this subject matter. I actually enjoy "Panda". I have absolutely no problem believing that he smoked pot and drank liquor at 11. I know plenty of people who did at that age. I'm not saying it was right or cool, I just don't get why Todd finds it hard to believe.
Re: Todd in the Shadows: Worst songs of 2016.
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I didn't think the singing was too bad either (except right at the end, "SOON AHLL BEH SIXTEH YEEYAHS AWL-DAH!"). After a quick Googling, I learned that Denmark has no true drinking age, so it's possible he snuck some liquor from his parents (or heck, maybe they gave it to him), and kids to stupid stuff anyway, so that doesn't bug me.
The only armchair movie critic endorsed by Glen Coco!
The only armchair movie critic endorsed by Glen Coco!
Re: Todd in the Shadows: Worst songs of 2016.
Devil's advocate here. Apparently he grew up in a town called Freetown Christiania, which is basically a giant hippy commune. So him smoking weed and drinking alcohol at eleven isn't too far fetched.
RIP Roger Ebert
1942-2013
RIP Roger Ebert
1942-2013
Re: Todd in the Shadows: Worst songs of 2016.
10. Yeah, Daya is easily the worst of these Lorde clones. Everything about her screams "Not ready for primetime" from her vocals to the lyrics she performs. This is her worst song. It's trying to make some kind of feminist statement but failing badly and in turn giving feminist haters the opportunity to say "See? All feminists are like this." (See also: Meghan Trainor.) The Snow White and the Seven Dwarves reference doesn't work because in the end, the prince saves her. Oh, and there's that Andy Griffith-esque opening. Why? Because this song sucks.
9. Outside of that chorus (I really hate hooks that are just one word repeated ad nauseam. Try harder), this was an "In one ear, out the other" song. I've never liked a single thing Future has ever been a part of. He sounds like an asthmatic stoner run through autotune. And Drake? God, I'm sick of Drake. I'm sick of how he continues to pervade the charts, even though he hasn't sounded like he's given a sh*t about any of his songs in the last few years. If you want to take a vacation, take a vacation. There will be plenty of other terrible Drake wannabes to fill your spot while you're gone.
As a side note, my least favorite Drake song of the year was "Fake Love." I guess people were demanding to hear a version of "Hotline Bling" with even worse music.
8. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
7. It blew my mind to hear Fastball being sampled in 2016. That is literally the only notable thing about this song. It did not make me want to pursue any more Machine Gun Kelly, and I really hope Fifth Harmony Girl No. 3 (I know her name, but I don't care enough to verify the spelling at this point) doesn't pick up any further star power after this. I've heard her described as the worst singer in Fifth Harmony. I'd be inclined to agree if I could tell any of them apart.
6. This could have been higherlike No. 1. I get that he doesn't want to dignify it as an actual song, but nothing this year was more annoying. It is just torture to listen to. The only good thing about it is that it's mercifully shortlike getting blood drawn. Like "Watch Me," it's also creatively bankrupt. It's just namechecking other dances and viral phenomeons over a beat that isn't theirs. I hope this is the last we hear of Zayn Malik and Zedd Zebo. (I'm not going to look up their names. Why should anyone?)
5. Now here's a song that just gets worse. Previously, I had said my problem with the song was that it was too vague to get a sense of how bad the woman's boyfriend is. I've been told it's about domestic violence because that's what the video's about. It's pretty sad when the video has to convey something the song can't, but if that's the case, he's still doing it wrong. If she's in an abusive relationship, your first thought should not be "I should try and get in her pants because I'd treat her better." Your first thought should be "Sh*t, I need to provide emotional and physical support for her as a friend." I guess that doesn't sell music though.
Also, apparently him counseling her is "wasting time." Fu*k you, Shawn Mendes.
4. Meghan Trainor having a personality is a hell of a justification for keeping her off this list. It's a toxic personality, and "Me Too" is the only song this year that made me legitimately angry. It's musically obnoxious (I don't want to hear another complaint about her doo-wop rehashes ever again. The '60s were a much better time for music than 2010), lyrically arrogant (What am I supposed to do with this? Meghan Trainor is talking down to me, but I can't really put myself in her position because the only person this appeals to is Meghan Trainor) and is only the second most annoying song of the year.
OK, now that I have that out of the way, let me talk about the actual entry. I get where he's coming from, but I don't mind it too much. He never mentions the lyrics, which actually are my favorite part of the song. They work well for anyone who's in a vulnerable position and is seeking help. Daya, for once, doesn't sound too bad either. I'll grant him that the actual musical elements are kind of sh*tty. The Chainsmokers seem to think they're gods of EDM, but put them in a montage with Calvin Harris, Zedd or Major Lazer, and I would have trouble picking them out.
3. It's a song about sex that's completely unsexy. A No. 1 hit that will not stand the test of time. (Hell, it's been about 10 months and I'd say it's pretty much forgotten.)
2. Background noise. Next.
1. Eh. It's not good and it certainly gets worse every time I hear it, but I've never been able to muster up hatred for this. Maybe it's because I feel like there was potential here. I think he should have toned down the ego a lot and removed references to things that only applied to his youth (if that) and no one else's, and he probably could have had a decent song. Keep the arrangement and the lines about losing his father and wondering if his children will visit him, and give it to someone who can actually sing. The passage of time is an interesting concept, but as it stands, this is a better song:
Honorable mentions
Close: Actually, space is a just a shortening of the Old french word "espace" and further derived from the Latin word "spatium." You had a good opportunity for an etymology lesson, Nick, and you ruined it with your creepiness.
One Call Away: Superman may have nothing on Charlie Puth, but Charlie Puth has nothing on Donovan, who he clearly stole that line from. *Sigh* Sam Smith, the world was way too hard on you.
Just Like Fire: "Just Like Nyquil" would have been a more accurate title. Please, Pink, do not rap ever again.
Love Yourself: The perfect choice for the No. 1 hit of the yearin that it's generic and I have a hard time remembering it. If you're going to be a dick, at least choose the appropriate music. Here's hoping in 2017, we stop treating Justin Bieber as some great talent because he went from awful to just mediocre. Mediocre does not translate to amazing.
Me, Myself and I- I live in the Bay Area, and G-Eazy has been a big deal here for a number of years. I have never gotten it. He's somewhere between being a poor man's Drake and a poor man's Macklemore. This song's pretty forgettable, but I do like the chorus, especially how it adds on to itself every time it gets played. I don't think that has much to do with Bebe Rexha as I haven't really been impressed with anything else I've heard from her, but it's a solid hook for a lame song.
Unsteady: Yeah, X Ambassadors' singles are basically filler for car commercials, but they work in that regard. "Renegades" is a good driving song, and "Jungle" is a legitimately great song and needs to be recognized as such. "Unsteady" doesn't really do anything for me, but it's not bad.
Scars to Your Beautiful: Having lived the life she described in "Here," I will always consider that a good song. Now that doesn't necessarily mean I needed to hear more from Alessia Cara, but if that means she can prevent Halsey or Daya from having future hits, I guess I'm OK with it. This song is basically a variation of 50 other hit songs from the past six years, but if she does actually succeed in raising young people's self-esteem, I don't see the harm in it.
RIP Roger Ebert
1942-2013
9. Outside of that chorus (I really hate hooks that are just one word repeated ad nauseam. Try harder), this was an "In one ear, out the other" song. I've never liked a single thing Future has ever been a part of. He sounds like an asthmatic stoner run through autotune. And Drake? God, I'm sick of Drake. I'm sick of how he continues to pervade the charts, even though he hasn't sounded like he's given a sh*t about any of his songs in the last few years. If you want to take a vacation, take a vacation. There will be plenty of other terrible Drake wannabes to fill your spot while you're gone.
As a side note, my least favorite Drake song of the year was "Fake Love." I guess people were demanding to hear a version of "Hotline Bling" with even worse music.
8. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
7. It blew my mind to hear Fastball being sampled in 2016. That is literally the only notable thing about this song. It did not make me want to pursue any more Machine Gun Kelly, and I really hope Fifth Harmony Girl No. 3 (I know her name, but I don't care enough to verify the spelling at this point) doesn't pick up any further star power after this. I've heard her described as the worst singer in Fifth Harmony. I'd be inclined to agree if I could tell any of them apart.
6. This could have been higherlike No. 1. I get that he doesn't want to dignify it as an actual song, but nothing this year was more annoying. It is just torture to listen to. The only good thing about it is that it's mercifully shortlike getting blood drawn. Like "Watch Me," it's also creatively bankrupt. It's just namechecking other dances and viral phenomeons over a beat that isn't theirs. I hope this is the last we hear of Zayn Malik and Zedd Zebo. (I'm not going to look up their names. Why should anyone?)
5. Now here's a song that just gets worse. Previously, I had said my problem with the song was that it was too vague to get a sense of how bad the woman's boyfriend is. I've been told it's about domestic violence because that's what the video's about. It's pretty sad when the video has to convey something the song can't, but if that's the case, he's still doing it wrong. If she's in an abusive relationship, your first thought should not be "I should try and get in her pants because I'd treat her better." Your first thought should be "Sh*t, I need to provide emotional and physical support for her as a friend." I guess that doesn't sell music though.
Also, apparently him counseling her is "wasting time." Fu*k you, Shawn Mendes.
4. Meghan Trainor having a personality is a hell of a justification for keeping her off this list. It's a toxic personality, and "Me Too" is the only song this year that made me legitimately angry. It's musically obnoxious (I don't want to hear another complaint about her doo-wop rehashes ever again. The '60s were a much better time for music than 2010), lyrically arrogant (What am I supposed to do with this? Meghan Trainor is talking down to me, but I can't really put myself in her position because the only person this appeals to is Meghan Trainor) and is only the second most annoying song of the year.
OK, now that I have that out of the way, let me talk about the actual entry. I get where he's coming from, but I don't mind it too much. He never mentions the lyrics, which actually are my favorite part of the song. They work well for anyone who's in a vulnerable position and is seeking help. Daya, for once, doesn't sound too bad either. I'll grant him that the actual musical elements are kind of sh*tty. The Chainsmokers seem to think they're gods of EDM, but put them in a montage with Calvin Harris, Zedd or Major Lazer, and I would have trouble picking them out.
3. It's a song about sex that's completely unsexy. A No. 1 hit that will not stand the test of time. (Hell, it's been about 10 months and I'd say it's pretty much forgotten.)
2. Background noise. Next.
1. Eh. It's not good and it certainly gets worse every time I hear it, but I've never been able to muster up hatred for this. Maybe it's because I feel like there was potential here. I think he should have toned down the ego a lot and removed references to things that only applied to his youth (if that) and no one else's, and he probably could have had a decent song. Keep the arrangement and the lines about losing his father and wondering if his children will visit him, and give it to someone who can actually sing. The passage of time is an interesting concept, but as it stands, this is a better song:
Honorable mentions
Close: Actually, space is a just a shortening of the Old french word "espace" and further derived from the Latin word "spatium." You had a good opportunity for an etymology lesson, Nick, and you ruined it with your creepiness.
One Call Away: Superman may have nothing on Charlie Puth, but Charlie Puth has nothing on Donovan, who he clearly stole that line from. *Sigh* Sam Smith, the world was way too hard on you.
Just Like Fire: "Just Like Nyquil" would have been a more accurate title. Please, Pink, do not rap ever again.
Love Yourself: The perfect choice for the No. 1 hit of the yearin that it's generic and I have a hard time remembering it. If you're going to be a dick, at least choose the appropriate music. Here's hoping in 2017, we stop treating Justin Bieber as some great talent because he went from awful to just mediocre. Mediocre does not translate to amazing.
Me, Myself and I- I live in the Bay Area, and G-Eazy has been a big deal here for a number of years. I have never gotten it. He's somewhere between being a poor man's Drake and a poor man's Macklemore. This song's pretty forgettable, but I do like the chorus, especially how it adds on to itself every time it gets played. I don't think that has much to do with Bebe Rexha as I haven't really been impressed with anything else I've heard from her, but it's a solid hook for a lame song.
Unsteady: Yeah, X Ambassadors' singles are basically filler for car commercials, but they work in that regard. "Renegades" is a good driving song, and "Jungle" is a legitimately great song and needs to be recognized as such. "Unsteady" doesn't really do anything for me, but it's not bad.
Scars to Your Beautiful: Having lived the life she described in "Here," I will always consider that a good song. Now that doesn't necessarily mean I needed to hear more from Alessia Cara, but if that means she can prevent Halsey or Daya from having future hits, I guess I'm OK with it. This song is basically a variation of 50 other hit songs from the past six years, but if she does actually succeed in raising young people's self-esteem, I don't see the harm in it.
RIP Roger Ebert
1942-2013
Re: Todd in the Shadows: Worst songs of 2016.
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but Charlie Puth has nothing on Donovan
I tweeted the same joke to Todd sometime last year when he went on a Twitter rant about that song. I don't think he saw it.
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Re: Todd in the Shadows: Worst songs of 2016.
Given that it's made nearly every other worst list, I'm surprised Kiiara's "Gold" didn't make Todd's list.
On that note, I'd like to correct something I said earlier. Daya is not the worst of the Lorde wannabes. If this song is any indication, it's clearly Kiiara.
RIP Roger Ebert
1942-2013
On that note, I'd like to correct something I said earlier. Daya is not the worst of the Lorde wannabes. If this song is any indication, it's clearly Kiiara.
RIP Roger Ebert
1942-2013
Re: Todd in the Shadows: Worst songs of 2016.
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ROOFISFALLINGLEMONLOVEME!
When Todd was talking about Lorde wannabes, I assumed he was going to start talking about Kiiara. I'm not really seeing how Daya is like Lordeshe seems less like an "alternative" pop star and more like just any number of Rihanna imitators.
If you must blink, do it now.
When Todd was talking about Lorde wannabes, I assumed he was going to start talking about Kiiara. I'm not really seeing how Daya is like Lordeshe seems less like an "alternative" pop star and more like just any number of Rihanna imitators.
If you must blink, do it now.
Todd in the Shadows: Worst songs of 2016.
Part 2: (I KNEW IT!)