Goofs : All time greatest clichés part 2

the single clap that grows into a standing ovation

it usualy appears after someone makes a speech to win over a crowd. The crowd might be hostile to begin with but the single clapper gives the crowd courage to take a stand against their own beliefs like lemmings over a cliff.


There are only 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those that don't.

the list!

I saw this one twice yesterday. Both on sitcoms which I never bothered to watch. But it happens like this: Jimmy is getting older and is digging through his old trophies or boxes of materials that has been in a storage area or the garage. In it he finds a list of things he wanted to accomplish before he dies or before he turns a certain age. Now he scrambles to accomplish these tasks. Most are silly, some are dangerous.


There are only 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those that don't.

Re: the list!

Stupid cliche on "Shooter": Guy talks about his family back at home, his daughter wants to become a nurse, and he's the main character's buddy. I called it, and 5 seconds later the poor bastard gets strafed.

Also, not sure if this was mentioned, but whenever Islamic terrorists, etc. are attacking the US, its always a govt. conspiracy.

Finally, the hero's girl always gets a gun to her head at the end, and the villain calls for the hero to expose himself / do something. The girl is always cowardly and whimpers profusely, with that contrived "omg gun to my head" face. In the end, the hero or his buddy snipes the shooter through the head, and they kiss.

CSI

it's full of clichés but I'm tired of this tired clichéd twist. Somebody gets killed. The evidence first points to an obscure group who operate on the fringes of society. The evidence then turns back toward regular normal everyday people and then we get a lecture for ever suspecting the obscure group you small minded prejudicial son of a beach!


There are only 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those that don't.

Re: CSI

And the DNA evidence gets processed in wait for it wait for it BING! Ten seconds.

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

You're supposed to slap the door twice in real life. It tells the driver to go. They do it in the army too.

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

I don't know if anyone has said this yet. When there is a funeral it's almost always raining and everyone has black umbrellas and there are like 3 rows of black fold-up chairs. Just once i'd like to see a bright pink umbrella.

~*SUPERNATURAL*~

I hate movie explosions

Whenever there is an explosion in movies, regardless of what is exploding, it always creates a gigantic fireball that looks like a nuclear bomb. The hero does that super sprint in slo-mo, and always jumps somewhere - be it out of a window, into a shelter, or whatever, to escape the blast. Right after he's gone a fireball shoots out right behind him.

There is never any debris from blasts. Normally, the hero / whoever is next to explosions would be shredded to ribbons, but instead they just fly back, or at most turn the character's face black.

Also, the hero is always faster than the explosion, which is always right behind him.

Re: I hate movie explosions

Going back to the grocery bag thing, why are they always paper?

The grocery stores don't even ask me anymore if I want to be environmentally conscious and would prefer paper instead of plastic. Do we even have paper bags in this god forsaken country anymore? Is our economy that bad that we don't even get a choice anymore?

Secondly, why are they always only carrying two bags, one in each arm? You might occasionally see one, but it is very rare that you'll see more then two.

And nine times out of ten when they drop them, it was because they were fumbling in their pockets or purses for the house keys so they can open the damn door. I always end up yelling, "If you would have set the bags down genius, your canned corn wouldn't be rolling down the driveway."

"I am as honest as they come, for a two-faced lying bastard."














Re: I hate movie explosions

horses always make loads of neighing/whinnying noises, for no reasons, particularly while rearing or galloping flat out.

do YOU yell your head off when youre out of breath, theres noone around and youve got nothing to say?? *LMAO*

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

1. Raining in a movie starts at once and is always heavy. Snow and rain look totally artificial. Thunder and lightning can always be heard at the same time. If it's not raining there's no cloud at the sky at all. At night there are either no stars visible or the sky is full of them depending on the theme of the movie.

2. If it's night and indoors and someone is switching the light off, it's never dark.

3. The likeable leading character never dies, at least not in the middle of the movie.

4. Everbody in a Hollywood movie is talking English. No matter who it is and where it takes place. If they don't talk English it's really short, not important and makes no sense at all. Foreigners are played by Americans who don't even speak the foreign language properly.

5. In classic Hollywood action movies foreign villains have either a German, East European or Arabian accent.

6. A Hollywood movie with some link to France is a love story.

7. A Hollywood movie with some link to Germany is an action movie with at least one connection to Nazi Germany.

8. If a Hollywood movie takes place in the UK it's in London, if it's in France it's in Paris, in Germany in Berlin or Munich, in the Arabian World in Kairo, in Southeast Asia in Hong Kong or Tokyo.

War films, etc,

Not so much any more, but common in the 80's, any white European villain, be it Russian or French, will always have a corny German accent, and will always be the "we haf vays of making you talk" sterotype of Nazis. They will also go around and needlessly slaughter innocent people.

Bad soldiers: One fat guy, a couple grunts who are smoking a cigarette, many others are rapists trying to hit on innocent townspeople, and the mean General stereotype. When the hero(s) are attacking, they either get mowed down faster than guns could actually shoot them, or get scared and run away (which soldiers aren't prone to doing).

The fake bullet sound effects of early war films.

When a main character gives a girl the eye, she anyways turns away and walks out of view at a party.

The annoying guy in every horror film who is a total prick, and then dies close to the end.

Security guards are useless. They all get mowed down until the hero comes and perfectly kills the bad guys.

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2



Security guards are useless. They all get mowed down until the hero comes and perfectly kills the bad guys.


Haha too true!

Another one that bugs me has to do with cars/driving. Whenever regular cars have to screech to avoid hitting one of the important ones, especially in a car chase, their car makes a perfect arch and misses the car by WAY too much. It makes it look like in real life everyone is a pro stunt driver.

Or another one about cars-I am in particular thinking of The Italian Job. The Mini Cooper is at a complete stop. A bad guy on what looks like a very heavy motorcycle comes charging at them, so the person opens their door. The guy smacks into it and goes flying, like the door is a goddamn brick wall. I'm pretty sure that kind of force would at least bend the door over it's hinges

And of course, the all-too-famous first kiss between male and female leads. The problem is, often times it occurs a little too early. It's like "I've known you for like one night and we've been through a lot. I love you."
??????

More to come!


Next film I am looking forward to: 3:10 To Yuma

Re: Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

the era of the films making can always be picked by the nationality of the bad guys. at one point in history, it was always sneaky, slick eurotrash. germans for a long time were fair game if you wanted a baddie everyone could automatically hate without considering. ditto black people, arabic people, etc etc. its playing on the popular fear of the time - my prediction is the latest trend in bad guys will be for the chinese to get tarred with the baddie brush!

tell me lifelike….

When were black people or Arabs ever cliche'd top bad guys? Remember; a cliche is something that happens regularly. As a matter of fact, have you ever seen cliched communists as bad guys in hollywood movies, when they have murdered more people than anyone in the world?

Law? WHERE'S THE LAW NOW!!??!!-Burt Reynolds; Deliverance.

Hospital professions

Doctors suck in movies. They always do stuff that is other peoples' jobs, but never do their own jobs.

Also, when there's a main character that is a patient, they stay with them all day. Forget about everyone else!

All nurses failed out of Med School, so now they're stuck with this job. No school required! (4 - 5 years in real life)

The janitor is always a black guy who whistles to himself as he mops.

Re: Hospital professions

hahaha yeah, and never will you hear a doctor, surgeon or coroner say 'i have literally no idea' :D

and apparently there is no such thing as an inconclusive autopsy report or toxins screen - things i have seen professionally more times than i care to count!

Re: Hospital professions

Heh Law and Order syndrome. 1 hour after they found him: "He drowned," or "He died of a drug overdose!" It could be the world's greatest assassin, and they always know exactly what happened to the victim.

On the otherhand, you can always throw Forensics off in Hollwood movies by simply placing a gun in a dead person's hand. Forget that the crime scene looks nothing like a suicide, or he may not even have a bullet hole in his head. "He has a gun, let's not run anymore tests on this. Case closed!"

Re: Hospital professions

*LOL*

i also love 'surprise witnesses'. well SURPRISE you have to submit a list of witnesses and their evidence in advance, and cannot call anyone NOT on that list!

working medical negligence law in australia, ive come to the conclusion that courtrooms must be simply 1000x more exciting in america. no long, arduous listing of the qualifications of this or that expert before asking them a single question, no calling 200+ people to read aloud their statements that everyone in that courtroom read themselves when the written versions were provided months/years beforehand, no victim or victims family sitting up the back, alternately crying and standing up to scream abuse no 'solicitors' and 'barristers', the same lawyer handles the entire case, mostly alone, from allegation to sentence

but you do miss out on the funny wigs :D

Re: Hospital professions

oops, goofed myself. i meant to say that HERE there are rarely victims present (not because theyve been murdered). they have a right to enter a 'victim impact statement' about their side of the case, but the judge is under no obligation to take it into account or even read it. here is it somewhat unseemly for anyone not required by the court to be in the court room - a sufficiently thrilling case will be run in a closed court with noone irrelevant even admitted.

my most thrilling court moment ever was when a tryhard nude model requested to submit to an examination of her alleged implant scarring took off her top and spent the next five minutes striking titillating poses and visibly jiggling. and i was only thrilled because you couldnt actually SEE the scars!

'Look! It's okay I'm wearing a bullet proof vest!'

I always laugh at this one. The hero gets shot and goes flying back. There is a tense moment or two as everyone is worried the hero is dead. But then he sits up and pulls his shirt up to revealdumdumduma bullet proof vest. They always have make a big production of showing it.


There are only 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those that don't.

Re: 'Look! It's okay I'm wearing a bullet proof vest!'

And the guy who gets hit always looks dead for 5 or so seconds, instead of freaking out and checking himself for holes. He somehow found the time to put a kevlar vest on.


Okay, Thanks Champ

Re: 'Look! It's okay I'm wearing a bullet proof vest!'

Along with this cliché is when the villain was supposedly killed years ago (or even in the present, but there must always be a time gap between his "death" and reappearance) was saved by either a vest, or a trivial item on his clothing. He always makes the same appearance: from a shadowy area, and the hero has this "no way!" face. Finally, his first lines are always, "Hi, (hero's name)."

Also, helicopters never crash in movies like they do in real life. Instead, they just blow up in a big fireball in the sky, with little bits falling to the earth.

In a school movie, when the movie is told from an adult pov, the principal is always a well-educated looking black man. If it is told from kids' point of view, then the principal is an evil white, old guy with glasses, who always seems to have the same voice and mannerisms. In the end, when told from the kids' pov, the kids will always exact revenge on the evil principal.


Okay, Thanks Champ

More cliches

Minorities (Urban black/Hispanic kids, Mexican immigrants, Asian immigrants/foreigners, villagers or samurai, etc) always get saved or inspired by a white person. Minorities could not save themselves.

Heroes don't usually get hurt but when they do like being shot in the arm, they seem to forget that and use that arm as if it was ok.

And yes I agree with the villain coming back to life after a period of time and having some scar or disfigurement that resulted from their "death"

That mindless zombies (diseased, insane, or undead) seem to work together towards a common goal of eating or attacking the living. They never seem to attack each other.

Ah. Fresh victims for my ever-growing army of the undead.

clayjar azn really?

Cause most of the movies i've seen like remember the Titans, a black guy inspires white kids, or Stand and Deliver, Edward James Olmos, a latino inspires latino kids to get into math or the new movie with Denzel Washington forming a great debate club or the Black Swimmmer starting an all black swim teamI wasn't aware Asian immigrants needed any inspirationthey seem to do fine by themselves.

Law? WHERE'S THE LAW NOW!!??!!-Burt Reynolds; Deliverance.

excuses for getting close to the female lead

I always laugh at this one. The hero and heroine are talking when there is an earthquake, an accident, a loud noise, a bad guy approaching etc when they are thrown together usually with the man on top. When the danger passes they look at each other just noticing that their bodies are touching and either break away from each other like they are on fire or smile at each other and slowly untangle themselves.


There are only 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those that don't.

Re: excuses for getting close to the female lead

The security tape that is in color, and manages to follow the suspect around the scene, and maybe even zoom in him. Even though presumably this was a fixed camera, operated by on one.

The car chase and the bridge-going-up cliché

Whenever there's a car chase, they always get to one of those bridges that go up so that boats can get through. Then, the hero's car always makes it just in time, gets airborne in slow-mo, and barely gets to the other side.

Re: The car chase and the bridge-going-up clich�

There's a parody of this in The Blues Brothers

Johnny Monsarrat Consulting. All content by Jon Monsarrat!

Yup, I'm Bad (Double Agent)

Good guy brings another good guy to help him on his attack. He gets there, confronts the bad guy, and both good guys have their guns on the bad guy. Then, the bg says, "Hi (good guys friend)," or "you should pick you friends wisely." The good guy's support then turns his/her gun on the good guy. Turns out he / she was the mole all along!

A variant of this is, whenever a good guy calls for support, the "trusted" person who he calls is always a bad guy.

Re: Yup, I'm Bad (Double Agent)

In horror films whenever someone has fleed from the place where a villain/monster tormented them, they talk to their boyfriend/family member, the b/fm leaves the room, and there's a final "unexpected" confrontation. Happens all the time.

Somebody set us up the bomb!

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

nobody ever says goodbye when they're finished talking on their cell phone.
instead, they close the phone after they've barely finished a sentence, get a determined look on there face and walk off like they're on an important mission, even if they're not.


glasses.gifTEAM HENRY =]
- youtube

Some more

Dogs in movies never die, do insane tricks to get out of the way of danger, and end up being petted by their family after getting out of peril. Screw those other people that just suffered agonizing, horrific deaths.

If one does die, it is to inspire hatred of a certain character, more so than killing an innocent, wide-eyed hostage.

The Sargent of a platoon has a dry, grumbly voice.

Good guys always run after a car after it abducts their friend or lover, and it leaves them in the dust, with a shot of the baddies looking back from the back seat.

Duct tape on the mouth for hostages, who make the contrived, "mmmm! mmmmph! mmm!" sound.

Camping horror movies: Clichés in themselves, as well as their entire plot.

The bad-ass special forces, GI-Joe type characters of the 80's. Actually, I kind of miss them.

Re: Some more

lmfao, the baguette in the grocery will never not make me laugh. sorry for the double negative.

*The toidy of the Black Pearl!*

Re: Some more

The hot, sexy, gorgeous, female lead is always single for some strange reason, she's perfect in every sense, but she is remarkably single. Unless the movie is about a married couple.

-The Price of freedom is eternal vigilance.

Re: Some more

I love this 'un. It involves mobile phones (or cell phones if you're a yank). Whenever someones in a situation where they really need to use one, they'll whip it out only to find they forgot to charge it and it's totally dead. Or it is charged but they will be somewhere where they simply cannot get a signal, thus rendering it useless again.

Re: Some more

that goes along the lines of the flashlight. It always goes dead, the person holding it shakes it or hits it and it comes on for a little bit then dies later just before the danger arrives.


There are only 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those that don't.

Re: Some more

Or, a character is holding a torch, and it slowly goes out. Like you said, those evil, light hating beasts were just waiting for it to go out, and lunch in for the kill soon after (along with fake crunching fx + screaming).

Re: Some more

If the hero gets a book like The Bible are something that they got from a special person who just died, like their dad. They will always put it in their coat pocket. Fast foward to final showdown scene.
Bad guy shoots hero in the heart.
Hero falls. Everyone assumes they are dead.
The bad guys celebrate.
Hero gets up. Pats were they got shot. They then open their coat pocket and find that the book got shot instead.
Hero shoots bad guys. They die. The End.

They always get shot right were the book is. They don't get shot in the stomach or anything alway where the book is. That annoys me so much!

Awesome thread by they way!


"Match in the gas tank, boom, boom!"

Re: Locations in Britain

..and what did they do to piss you off enough to want to send them there ???

Re: Why Do The Villains of The 007 Series …


or just poison his martini!
Did you see Casino Royale?

Re: Some more

Woah, on my page theres a link to your post in my history, and ive never even been on this board before.

I defeated voldemort when i was a baby
I was even awesome when i was a baby

Dogs always know when something is wrong

they can sense earthquakes, ghosts, aliens, etc. But no one ever understands their warnings until it is too late.


There are only 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those that don't.

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

In a Horror movie, the slut always dies first.

"However cruel the mirrors of sin, remember beauty is found within."

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

If an actor is known for comedic roles, they grow facial hair to take on a serious role.

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

That's 100% true. It's scary. I don't think I've ever seen a comedian not do this for at least one of their movies.

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

Jeff Daniels didn't grow facial hair for "The Newsroom". And Steve Carrell didn't grow facial hair for "Foxcatcher", although he did wear a prosthetic nose.

"It's not a dress; it's called a tunic. There's quite a difference."

Re: Locations in Britain

If not an upper class accent, inevitably the Brit will speak with a Cockney dialect. Or a poor approximation of one.

Whew! it's only a cat! humdeedum tralala… Aiiiiiii! Arg!

It's the old fake scare when someone is wandering alone in a dark house or a back alley. There is tense music then a crash. But it turns out only to be a cat. Then the walker relaxes and then the monster/killer attacks.


There are only 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those that don't.

Fat, useless cop (and maybe a Rookie too!)

In every murder movie, the policeman or FBI agent who helps the lady in peril (or anyone, for that matter) is always either fat, clueless, or old. In the end, he either has an onscreen or offscreen death, but came alone. He never saw what hit him.

The rookie has figured it out halfway through the film. If he makes it out, he and the girl he saves become lovers.
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