Goofs : All time greatest clichés part 2

Re: All time greatest clich�s part 2

Haven't been able to read all the pages, but has anyone mentioned the ever observant cop who notices that 'it's June, and isn't it a little warm to be wearing a jacket?' that is concealing a bad guy's firearm grenade thermonuclear device.

For years, I used to think every single Hollywood movie was made in June.

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

Most annoying cliche is the computer sound effects. It is really distracting for me.

Crime Drama: Police address suspect as "Police!" 100 yards away from perp without taking measures to surround perp first, initiating a pointless chase.

The "one phone call" thing when arrested.

The timed phone call trace that never provides enough time to triangulate.

Any "too cool" characters. Horatio is the master of this and it's so comically done that he gets by with it. Another current example would be the Graceland cast. They always use the appropriate lingo and have to explain all the tricks they know to their fellow cops so the audience knows what they are talking about. Another would be Harmon on NCIS or LL not-so-cool J on NCIS:L.A. I would throw Hawaii Five-O in this category but that entire show is a cliche.

Crime shows where only one investigative team is needed. Sometimes it's the detective in charge, other times it's the CSI team. Also, situations where these people have free reign to go to some other country on some half military mission.

The Silver Bullet

When faced with an alien or supernatural there will always be the quick fix, the silver bullet, the answer, the rules. Shot to the head brings down a zombie, aliens fall prey to germs, vampires stake to the heart, werewolvesthe silver bullet.

I'm like a wild animal, girl I'm more scared of you than you are of me.

Re: All time greatest clich�s part 2

1. Whenever two characters are about to kiss, something always interrupts them so they don't do it. Like if a phone goes off or someone walks in on them or something.

2. In superhero films, other characters that the hero is familar with don't recognise their voice if they happen to meet them in costume.


My blog: http://cuish-common-room.blogspot.co.uk/

Look at all my torture implements!

When the hero is tied up/tied down the villain will roll out a small table filled with knives. There are small knives, big knives, pointy knives, hooked knives, serrated knives, etc. The camera shows this all to us and the villain laughs evilly. The villain then ignores his collection of knives and punches the hero unconscious.
Of course the knives are to shock the audience and fill them with dread. I'm actually glad we don't get to see the knives being used. I'm not into torture porn. But it would be nice if they just skipped show of knives.

I'm like a wild animal, girl I'm more scared of you than you are of me.

Re: Look at all my torture implements!

Torture porn? What, you're not into it? Pshaw!!! Sure you are!

Sorry, just saw the phrase "torture porn" and thought it was too funny!

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

The most absurd cliché: police cars using their loud sirens when they go to the place the character they want to arrest is supposed to be even if the roads are completely empty or during the night, so that the character hears them coming and has enough time to hide or to escape

Some other clichés, certainly already mentioned:
- when the hero has a family, there is a sequence in which he or she is looking at his or her sleeping children
- when the hero visits the victim or suspect's apartment, there are a lot of photos on walls or furniture and very often by chance one of these photos gives him a clue or the whole explanation to a mystery or investigation
- on standard quality photos it is possible to zoom in indefinitely with high resolution
- when the hero has to download a file it often takes a lot of time while somebody or the police are coming
- bombs are often stopped at the last second by the hero
- some characters seem not being aware they were shot by a bullet until they notice blood on their body
- villains always take their time to kill the hero so finally he can escape or is providentially helped by someone at the very last moment (the villain is killed at the same moment he was supposed to shoot the hero)
- key witnesses are rarely under sufficient protection by the police even if it is obvious the villain will kill them (it also works with the next likely victim in a series of murders)

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

You have to wonder whether the writers of Sharknado (which is loads of fun) have been studying this thread and taking notes.
A more recent cliché is for the FBI to be portrayed as extremely incompetent.
That used to be the prerogative of the local police force (plod) when the big guns came in, but now the big guns themselves are depicted as making the most basic of mistakes.
Regarding the FBI:
1) The lead actor/actress playing an FBI agent will always decide to try to drive to the ongoing crime scene rather than call the local police to prevent the crime or the criminal(s) from escaping. A fast car speeding through traffic from 10+ miles away is always going to get there faster than the local plod.
2) Apparently the FBI can track anyone anywhere if they have their mobile phone on unless they actually intend to commit a crime. In which case they have a burner who's messages they can't intercept even and whose origin they can't locate even when they call a suspect that they're monitoring.
3) Rerouting web traffic through Lithuania and North Korea gives you at least 24 hours leeway before the FBI can trace the source of the email/video/website/whatever.
4) The FBI can't locate the originator of a video posted on Youtube if it's posted anonymously.

I have more examples but these are just a few.

If the opposite of Love is indifference, what's the opposite of Hate?

the bump

No one ever just bumps into another person in television or movie. If it happens the bumped person was either pick pocketed, something was slipped into their pockets, or if there was blood drawn they've been either poisoned or infected.

I'm like a wild animal, girl I'm more scared of you than you are of me.

Coughing blood into a hanky

One of the top 10 signs your dying. The coughee usually knows he/she is dying but will not tell anyone else until they, long after the audience, figure it out.

I'm like a wild animal, girl I'm more scared of you than you are of me.

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

Romantic comedies:

You have two people, a handsome young man and a pretty young woman, bump into each other and they see a lot of each over the next few days and become friends as a result. However, when either of them has to leave and catch the plane (or the train or some other long-distance transport), one of them literally realises only at the very last minute that theyve fallen in love with the other and (depending on which one realises it) either rush back in the taxi to tell them so or catch up with them at the airport or train station. The other realises it also. Whether they do manage to catch up and tell them and they stay together or not are two other clichés altogether.


My blog: http://cuish-common-room.blogspot.co.uk/

Need to catch up on the situation

Just catch a newspaper that's blowing in the wind. In huge letters on the front page the situation will be explained in less than a dozen words.

I'm like a wild animal, girl I'm more scared of you than you are of me.

"He's standing behind me, isn't he?"

Usually this line is given by a guy/gal after they went on a tirade usually demeaning the boss or someone very scary.

The first rule of Don't Talk About Us Club is: No fighting.

why even bother with handcuffs?

The bad/good guy is in handcuffs. He's not dangerous now, whew! What's this? He's dislocated his thumb and now he's free and taking down the no name, ineffective guards. Or he has a piece of metal his hidden in his mouth and just by wiggling it in the key hole he's unlocked it. Or without any explanation except "he's that good" he shows the guards his handcuffs are unlocked and as they stare at him not comprehending the situation he kills or knocks them unconscious.


The first rule of Don't Talk About Us Club is: No fighting.

Re: why even bother with handcuffs?

^^You could probably summarise this as:

Anyone can pick a police/prison handcuff lock as long as they have something a bit thin and pointy.

Cheers, Will

If the opposite of Love is indifference, what's the opposite of Hate?

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

R-Tune

I think one of the clichés was the acting in 'Jurassic World' and scenes that actors/actress' were in.

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

R-Tune

I've recently watched 'One Day' with an insistence of my friend and that movie was full of clichés.. My friend told me that she liked it but I really didn't like it because I think director was probably unprepared while he was filming the movie. Lots of clichés..

The broken mirror

When a character's life is in tatters they explode and rage and smash the mirror. They then look into the mirror and it reflects their image- a symbol of their life shattered into hundreds of pieces.

My counter argument is that I'm offended.

Re: The broken mirror

Similar to this, a woman, upon hearing bad/nasty/insulting news from the man will get angry, scream and shout, and pound at the man with her fists. He will hold his hands up to defend himself and/or grab her wrists. As she becomes more and more upset, she will burst into tears, stop fighting, and he will hug her.


Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

Chinese food: There are two people eating Chinese food, yet judging by the visible number of white boxes, they have enough food to feed a dozen people. Chinese food is only eaten by using chopsticks, and you will never see a character who doesn't know how to use these utensils.

Yoga classes: The participants will always be told at some point to assume the Downward-facing Dog position.

Stubbly men: No woman kissing a man with two or three days' worth of facial hair will ever feel like she's just buried her face into a porcupine.

Disarming villains: Any semi-automatic pistol taken from a temporarily incapacitated bad guy can be rendered permanently useless by ejecting the ammunition magazine and racking the slide to eject the bullet in the chamber. The hero can then just drop the gun right next to the bad guy and walk away because the bad guy will never be able to just re-insert the magazine into the gun, and rack the slide to chamber a round.

Daytime thunderstorms: Rain may be coming down in buckets and the wind may be blowing at a hundred miles per hour, but fifty feet away in the background, the sun is shining and the air is calm.

Copying of computer files

You've seen it- the little bar that slowly drags across the computer screen showing the progress of the copying. But in movies and television that percent of the copying is sssssssllllllloooooooowwwwwww. And since it is so slow that leave the one coping helpless as he or she watches the slow crawl. The one that is making the copy is always under pressure and just about to be discovered. Their partner who is speaking to them through a blue tooth or some other high tech gadget is telling them to abort. But they always make it just in time to escape the guard or the returning bad guy. Sometimes the bad guy will pause when he opens the door as if he senses that someone was just there. Another scenario is that the bad guy walks through the door and our hero is calmly sitting there like they were waiting for the bad guy with an innocent excuse about wanting to talk to them.

My counter argument is that I'm offended.

Re: Copying of computer files

No-one ever backs up files properly - I watched 1st episode of Flash and soon after Daredevil: Flash - "oh stop thief, the laptop has my dissertation!" Right, you ARE a moron, how did you ever write a dissertation? In DD, some file is in a memory stick and it must be found, etc, only copy !


Cloud storage, people!

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

nobody locks their door after they let the guest in.

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

Does anyone in an American movie use the handbrake?
And all cops in nightclubs notice the bad guys who are wearing coats because it's always June and isn't it a little warm to be wearing a jacket in June? There's never a cold snap it's just June!

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

I believe most cars in the USA have automatic transmissions. I never use my parking brake unless I am parked on a steep hill.

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

I have a mate who is afraid of wearing out the hand brake. He has no concern about the weight of his car resting on the bolts holding the engine and transmission together, however.

The double nightmare

The protagonist is suffering a horrible nightmare. The scene cuts to him/her sitting in bed sweating and screaming. He/she then turns to their partner lying in bed next to them and we find out the nightmare isn't over when the partner is covered in blood or turns into a monster or something equally nightmarish. The protagonist then sits up again sweating and screaming.

My counter argument is that I'm offended.

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

I don't think I have ever seen a pillow fight that does not end with the pillows opening and feathers flying out creating a mess. EVER! Usually the fighters collapse in laughter instead of being angry about the mess they have just created. Doesn't anyone have foam filled pillows? Why are the seams on pillows so fragile?

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

I have finally seen the cliche I listed broken! At the end of a recent episode of The Muppets TV series there is a sexy fight at Gonzo's apartment between two bikini clad models and Camila the chicken. At the end the models question why there are feathers with memory foam pillows and the camera pans down to the naked chicken. Well done Muppets!

If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

I found this list and thought it was pretty funny as it is filled with anti-clichés. Sorry it's not numbered my copy/paste failed to pick up them up.

The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.
If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.
If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.
I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.
When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.
Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

My counter argument is that I'm offended.

There's something I have to tell you

That something is rarely even told following that line. It is usually followed by a phone call, a knock on the door, someone else entering the room, etc. Even after that interruption the subject isn't returned to until a much later date if ever.

My counter argument is that I'm offended.

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

The "good" wife is always named Claire, and the "good" daughter is always named Sarah. The bad wife smokes cigarettes, wears tank tops with her bra straps showing and is always named Sheila or some other shanty Irish name.

The number one cliché always: the good guy/girl whacks the bad guy over the head, he falls down, and THEY TURN THEIR BACK ON HIM!

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

Making cups of tea or coffee at home in mugs.

These are made with boiling water and we all know that the mug is bloody hot.

So why is it that a freshly brewed mug is handed to someone who takes it in their hands (not by the handle) and says thanks or something similar?

Nobody ever, ever, hands a mug of hot tea or coffee to someone like that.

Except on TV, where they all seem to have asbestos hands.

If the opposite of Love is indifference, what's the opposite of Hate?

Prophecies

As far as I can tell their are 2 different types of prophecies.
The self fulfilling prophecy where just by saying or believing in the prophecy makes it come true.
Or its the gibberish prophecy where the prophecy is told and it makes no sense until after it is complete and we look back and put it all together.

My counter argument is that I'm offended.

dumb, dumb, dumb minions vs unstoppable hero

So our hero is surrounded by 10 or 100 or 1000 minions of the bad guy, the number doesn't matter. He will kick, punch, shoot, slice, dice, snap, crush, crack, etc everyone that comes his way. But they keep coming. Even that last minion. Despite seeing every one of his buddies get killed in grotesque and horrible ways he'll attack the hero. Just once I'd like to see that last guy just drop his weapons and bad guy uniform and say "That's it, I quit! Screw you guys, I'm going home." Then walk off the battlefield fully intact.

My counter argument is that I'm offended.

SciFi shows - nobody cares

It doesn't matter the topic of the scifi show. It could be time travel, aliens among us, or some secret society. The characters try to hide their scifiness. They make sure they don't mention the future or the past, they hide that they are from another world, or are careful nobody follows them to their secret hideout. In the real world nobody would care if you accidentally slip your from the year 7325. They'd think your nuts. Nobody would care if you started speaking in your planets' language of Beta Alpha Prime. You're a super nerd. And the fact you run from corner to corner always looking over your shoulder? Paranoid nut ball high on meth.
Yeah, it's a show and all but nobody really believes in time travel, aliens living on our planet, or a secret organization formed to fight the forces of evil. Sure, some of you are saying "it's possible!" But do you think your neighbor is from the future? Or he is truly from another world (well.), or that he saved the planet 10 times over from robotic lizards?

As an experiment just try to do those things in public.

I seem to remember reading a blog where it would be fun to pretend to be The Doctor and let slip that you are from the future. Maybe it was like Talk Like a Pirate day.

Edited: Found it! http://www.nationaldaycalendar.com/pretend-to-be-a-time-traveler-day-december-8/

My counter argument is that I'm offended.

the neck snap

As far as I can tell there are 4 different kinds of neck snaps.
The neck snap from behind which is a big production with lots of movement usually done in slow motion.
The one handed neck snap usually comes as a surprise. The guy doing the neck snap is usually holding the victims jaw almost in a caress. Then snap!
The bent over neck snap usually occurs after a big tussle. The victim is bent over at the waist and the neck snapper grabs him by the head/neck and quickly lifts until crack.
There is a lesser used one in which the two grapplers are facing back to back. The neck snapper grabs the victim by the head and breaks his neck over his shoulder.
I wonder if the snapping of necks is done because it is cheap and quick.

My counter argument is that I'm offended.

The Foot Slip

Some sympathetic character, not a villain, in a precarious position trying to climb a cliff wall is about to make it to the top, someone is there reaching down to help, and the climber's foot slips. Sometimes the person reaching down grabs the climber's hand just in time.

Shoot the monitor?

When the hero must stop the evil computer program from completing or an email of utmost secrecy from being sent he will grab his gun and shootthe monitor? And in a burst of sparks the world is saved.

My counter argument is that I'm offended.

Re: Shoot the monitor?

This is an observation on the genius hacker who can break into the big system database or local hard drive on anyone's laptop just by typing rapidly for about 10 seconds and then shouts "I'm in!" (This has been done to death).

If they do that then they never bother to log off after they find whatever they want to find, hence alerting the person that owns the laptop that someone has been using it as soon as they get back or try to log in from another computer.

Always remember to log off, genius hacker!!!

If the opposite of Love is indifference, what's the opposite of Hate?

Country Life vs City Life

Small town girl/guy wants to escape her/his boring country life to experience the excitement of the big city.
Big city girl/guy wants to escape her/his hectic life to experience the calm and relaxing of small town life.

My counter argument is that I'm offended.

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

These are a few chliches that get under my skin when I notice them:

1. Roger Ebert's "Me-Push-Pull-You" rule, where if a man and a woman are running from danger, the man will drag the woman behind him by the hand, while she gasps and tries to keep up.

2. Kitchen Karaoke, where female leads dance around the kitchen to a song blasting on the soundtrack, pretending to sing into spoons and spatulas, shutting cabinet drawers with their hips, etc.

3. Fake Punk Rockers (mostly in 1980s films), where a tough "punk rock" character simply has blue hair and some eye make-up. Too bad the actors almost never have the nerve to go all the way and shave their heads, wear a mohawk, safety-pin piercing, etc.

cliches

A woman giving birth on a show

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

So this will all now be lost, like tears in the rain.
What a sad day for IMDb. :(

If the opposite of Love is indifference, what's the opposite of Hate?

Re: All time greatest clichés part 2

wet roads, etc… this drives me crazy!
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