Everybody Loves Raymond : What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

I never understood why the rest of the family thought it was so wrong that Robert was dating a woman so much younger than him(I can't remember her name). Well, actually I can understand in the case of Marie because she's, well...Marie. But Debra was clearly bothered by her age, even moreso when she revealed that she was only nineteen. And even Ray was disturbed by this.
Why?
It's not like she revealed she was a convicted drug dealer, which is what Ray and Debra were both acting like. At least she was of legal age, so Robert wasn't committing statutory rape. What harm were they doing?

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

Age differences are just a taboo thing for some people. Even Erica was disturbed when she found out Robert was in his 40s. Everyone was also on edge when Warren game home and he was dating an older women.

Then not to mention 19 is still not legal drinking age. So some still consider it a kid if they can't go out and get their own alcohol without a fake ID. Then there's the issue of being in different stages in life. So sometimes many will automatically assume negative.

Older man with a young woman. He's using her for sex, or wants someone he can mold and manipulate. I think Debra even said she thought Robert was a jerk who was using Erica.

Sometimes the women will get branded a gold-digger. And / Or the guy a sugar daddy.

Same thing happened in friends. Monica is 26 when she meets Richard, who is 55. Her brother was not happy about them dating. And neither were her parents when they 1st found out -added points for Richard being an old friend of their's.
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If you're gonna pretend to cut her hair, at least put some scissors in your hand!

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

Part of it is the reality that a much older person has such a different experience of life, you won't grow together, or be interested in the same things, maturity, etc... don't kid yourself.


















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Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?


Then there's the issue of being in different stages in life.

a much older person has such a different experience of life, you won't grow together, or be interested in the same things, maturity, etc... don't kid yourself.

Well, they say women mature faster than men so if anything Erica(thanks for telling me her name) might have made a better match for Robert than Marie or Debra did with their respective husbands, who are clearly much less grown up than them.

That even held true to some extent for Amy(i.e. she seemed more mature than Robert.)

Traditionally, it's been considered rather normal for the man to be much older, physically, because a man needs to be biologically older in order to be on a par with a woman the same age, maturity-wise.

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

Maturing faster means physically, and in some ways mentally due to having to deal with real world issues that men don't, but that doesn't mean a 19 year old has the emotional experience and maturity or goals or understanding...



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Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?


Maturing faster means physically, and in some ways mentally due to having to deal with real world issues that men don't, but that doesn't mean a 19 year old has the emotional experience and maturity or goals or understanding...

I don't know. The average 19-year-old female is WAY more mature than the average 19-year-old male, and most of the ladies on this board here will back me up on this. I bet Erica liked Robert because all the men her own age were much less mature than she was. Then again, she was okay dating him when she thought he was only 35, not so much when Debra made him admit to her that he was 42 or '3.

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

Women do mature faster than men not just physically but mentally. However, that when they are in their teens and early twenties. By the time a man is in his 40s he is both physically and mentally mature. As for emotionally mature, I think that depends entirely on the individual and has nothing to do with being male or female.

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

I don't recall Ray and Frank having an issue with it. Marie didn't like the way Frank acted around the girl, so that was her reasoning. Ray's only issue with it was the way Debra reacted to it. As for Debra:

1) Debra was a shrew in this episode (and countless others)

2) Robert was desperate and needy, which meant he probably needed to be with someone his own age and not a flighty younger woman

3) Debra always wanted Robert with Amy so she was going to find fault with most of Robert's women


Al - Alicia
An - Andrew
Jo - Joseph
Be - Benjamin

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

Debra could have voiced her concerns about Robert's younger woman in a more calm manner and appropriate setting.

Debra seemed to like Angela (the woman who ate a fly) in Season 7 's She's the One.

I can't recall how Debra felt about Stefania. I know she probably wasn't pleased with Robert at that time.

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

They were both lying about their age so they obviously felt it was an issue, even with them. One commenter says girls mature faster and therefore desire older guys. Yes, they sometimes mature faster, but this is usually physically, not necessarily emotional. And despite what we older guys would like to think most younger girls have an "Ewww" factor at the thought of dating a much older guy. Girls seek someone in the age bracket (within 8-10 years), unless they're dating their Sugar Daddy. In the episode Robert lamented at how loud she played the music, and how tired he got trying to keep up with her. It makes for a nice fantasy but it rarely works out.

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

I can't remember her name off the top of my head, but are you talking about the woman that he met on the family trip to Italy?

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

No. That's Stefania. The young girl is Erica, that said she was in her 20s, but reveals that she's actually 19 later.

__________
If you're gonna pretend to cut her hair, at least put some scissors in your hand!

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

And if you think about it, Robert is old enough to be Erica's father say if he had her very early in life like say in his early 20's, like say if he had her at age 20 when she turned 20 he would be 40 years old.

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

Absolutely nothing---until Debra the b*tch opened her jealous mouth and ruined it, they were all happy!

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

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Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

There's a stereotype about middle-aged women feeling threatened by younger women and being resentful when older men are interested in them. (It seems to be a much more common form of insecurity on TV than in real life.) I think the writers were using that stereotype and having Debra take Robert's interest in Erica as a personal affront. It's as though Robert were saying, "Women your age aren't pretty enough or sexy enough; I need a girl younger and better than a woman your age." As for Ray, I think it was a case of him needing to avoid offending Debra or making her think he wanted a younger woman too. There might also have been a touch of envy that Robert was able to capture the interest of a girl Erica's age.

Þæs ofereode, ðisses swa mæg. -- Deor

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

If she was 19, she would be like Robert's baby sister, what's he going to do? Bring a beer out to her from the club while she waits in the car? Or she would be like Robert's daughter! Ewww. There's something so skeevy about huge age differences. The younger women are either dummies wanting to be rescued by daddy figures, or have daddy issues, or are gold-diggers. Yes, yes, I know there are billions of divinely happy relationships between old goats and barely legals, but ......ewww. It's creepy.

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

A man is in 40s dating a teenager is seriously creepy. If you don't understand why, you're probably creepy yourself. It's as simple as that.

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

First of all, Robert didn't know she was 19. Second of all, Robert as a character is not a perv. He's shy, sensitive and much like a little boy, so it's understandable that he would be with someone younger and especially someone fun, to help loosen him up. What Debra and Ray thought of it was inconsequential; the relationship obviously made them feel old and bored with each other, so of course they were jealous! As it was portrayed, neither one was using the other, and I think that's the most important point. They weren't headed for marriage, they were just enjoying each other's company without a hint of lust or perversion or looking for a sugar-daddy, they were just having fun. It's a SITCOM; the situation makes it comedic. Lighten up people!

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

One more vote by a middle aged guy for the relationship being creepy. If it progressed a few steps into marriage that means Robert would be showing signs of old age while the woman would look like a very healthy middle aged woman when Robert would be into his 60's.

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

By the way a far more creepier moment was when Frank was ogling Debra in "P.T. and A" near the end when she wore the hot outfit. Especially with Marie in the vicinity.

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

It seemed a bit creepy to me, especially when we found out that they had both lied about their ages to each other. But what I found far more creepy was when Robert let a girl believe he was Ray, and when as far as to have a sexual relationship with her based on that lie.

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

The funny thing is Monica and Richard on friends didn't really bother me, though it was obviously doomed. but the Robert/Erica thing seriously creeped me out. I think it was mostly due to the fact that she turned out to only be 19. I am sorry but in my opinion if you are under 21 you are not an adult. The main problem is that statistically relationships with big age differences almost never work out. Of course people in these relationships don't always think it will work out, they are just having fun. I don't really approve of that but it's their business provided one of them is not a teenager.

Re: What was so wrong with Robert dating that younger woman?

An important point to remember here is that once Robert knew her real age, he knew what he had to do. It was how rudely Debra interfered and reacted that twisted the main point of the episode and then made it seem sick and dysfunctional because she reacted so strongly.
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