Star Trek: The Next Generation : Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Inspired by the satirical BBC program "Mock of The Week"

today's topic;

Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

(this includes everything from TOS to the rebooted movies)

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Picard: Worf, that's a brilliant idea.
Picard: Troi, thanks, I hadn't notice that.
Geordi: I just got laid!
Data: I just got laid!
Riker: I just hurt my package trying to swing my leg over the chair.
Wesley: Shut up Picard!
Q; Oh yeah, that's hot!

Spenser with an "S", like the poet.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

More like,
Wesley: I just got laid!


Beverly: The two species are just too incompatible. No amount of genetic engineering will produce a child between them.
Picard: I look forward to speaking to the kids at the elementary school.


Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Captain: "Chief engineer, we are under attack, what systems do we have left?"
Chief Engineer: "All systems are working and within normal parameters sir"

GlobalWarmer
I can teach you how to shoot so close to a raccoon that he craps himself.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

My name is Jerk ,Captain James T. Jerk.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

- Fire proton torpedoes!
- Wow, those new circuit breakers were a good investment!
- Sisko: Now, Chancellor Gowron, witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station!

Jake Meridius Conhale, at your service!
"Old Man" of the BSG (RDM) boards.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Picard: "I got rhythm, I got music, I got my man. Who could ask for anything more?"

Over 20,001 Tacos Returned...AS GARBAGE!

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Picard: Will it takes me 30 minutes to get into this damned uniform. Do you fare better?

🎵"Bernie woncha buy me a Mercedes Benz?🎶

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Picard; Tonight I'm boffing Beverly

Crusher; The Hell you won't

Picard; But doctor I thought..

Crusher; Forget it Jean Luc tonight is my BKD party with Troi.

Picard;BKD?

Troi; Yes didn't you get the memo on that friday is the Big Klingon Dic..

Picard(interrupts Troi);I get it I get it

(Picard looks at Worf who is displaying an ear to ear grin on his face)

Picard; You think you can handle these two Worf?

Worf;Certainly captain I will go through like a hot bat'leth goes through butter

Picard; That was a little bit too much of information there Worf

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Wesley: The Traveler's hot!

Data: Get off my back you freak!
Troi: Get on my front you freak!
Crusher: You can get on back you freak!
Worf: Who you calling a freak?


Spenser with an "S", like the poet.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Worf (to Picard); May LaForge be with you captain.

Picard(whispering to Geordi); Do the producers really think they can get away with that?

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Riker: I love you( to any girl,of the week.) Lol

X-Men: Apocalypse 8/10. TMNT: Out of the Shadows 9/10. RIP Doris Roberts. You were wonderful in ELR.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

The thread is about unlikely things you'll hear CJ what you describe happens almost every episode.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Does he say he loves them, or just bangs them? Lol.

X-Men: Apocalypse 8/10. TMNT: Out of the Shadows 9/10. RIP Doris Roberts. You were wonderful in ELR.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Now if you had said Riker was wearing a T-shirt with "Back off Ma'am I'm monogamous" 👕 written on it now that would be very unlikely.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Well done, Nex.

X-Men: Apocalypse 8/10. TMNT: Out of the Shadows 9/10. RIP Doris Roberts. You were wonderful in ELR.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

I had ,what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity CJ.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Picard Mr. Worf I want you to target every major city on the planet's surface with Phasers and Photon Torpedoes full spread.
Worf Sir? actually Worf would say this
Picard Just kidding, wanted to see if you were as hard as Tasha!

Luke Skywalker, your Mom was hawt! Darth Vader

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Picard: "Great idea, Mr. Worf. Let's do what Lt. Worf suggested."

X-Men: Apocalypse 8/10. TMNT: Out of the Shadows 9/10. RIP Doris Roberts. You were wonderful in ELR.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Worf;"Tasha pff ,I can't stand women who prefer an oversized deluxe walking and talking vibrator in stead of some good Klingon lovin' "

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Now if you had said Riker was wearing a T-shirt with "Back off Ma'am I'm monogamous"

Nope, that's not quite what his t-shirt says:

http://subspacecomms.com/sites/default/files/1012-general/Jonathan-frakes-caste.jpg



Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Who the frack is Richard Castle ? Would be on my T-shirt sitting next to him

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Tasha Yar: Oh, lighten up, Wesley. Getting high is hell of a lot of fun. Hefner once did a line of blow off of my butt, back in the 70s.

Worf: Request permission to head to my safe space, Captain. The Pakleds are triggering me.

Riker: I sure wish The Dukes of Hazzard was still on. Playing Boss Hogg's nephew was fun!












Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Data ; Captain,the Ferengi want to negotiate a truce

Picard; What the hell does that mean?

Data; It means they want to negotiate on terms for their surrender captain.

Picard; Liberals! Intellectuals! Peacemongers! IDIOTS!

Data; What are your orders Sir?

Picard;We have to strike now,! Annihilate! Kill! Kill! Kill!

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Can I borrow your toenail clippers, Number One?

Over 20,001 Tacos Returned...AS GARBAGE!

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Riker: Deanna, I think you should get checked for something.

X-Men: Apocalypse 8/10. TMNT: Out of the Shadows 9/10. RIP Doris Roberts. You were wonderful in ELR.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Guinan: Data, I'm sorry to tell you that you're not "fully functional".

Worf: I just wet myself.

Picard: Computer, Herb tea with lemon.

Jordi: I see dead people.

Riker: Mr. Crusher, I am your father.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Picard (while playing air guitar); Staa-uurfleeeht F@CK YEAH!

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

The Reboot Enterprise

James T. Kirk: I looked up John Harrison. Until a year ago he didn't exist.
Khan: John Harrison was a fiction created the moment I was awoken by your Admiral Marcus to help him advance his cause, a smokescreen to conceal my true identity. My name is... KHAN.

(Kirk,Mccoy and even Spock,in a rare moment of emotionality,all are screaming with laughter after Khan's over dramatic revelation)

Khan; What, what?

Kirk; We know of you Khan we've all seen that movie man,you were thinking that we won't deliver you to the admiral and admiral Marcus will attack Enterprise until the point of destruction and that we need you and your superior intellect(suppressing not to burst into laughter again)to board the admiral's ship from space so that you eventually can overrun us break the admiral's lovely daughter's hand and crush his skull take over his ship with your crew and destroy the enterprise ,right?

Kirk; Well..... that's not going to happen I'm going to let you stay in that cell and send admiral Marcus your coördinates so he can transport you to his ship and do whatever he wants with you.

(Kirk ,Mccoy and Spock walk out laughing leaving Khan behind dumbfound)

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Wesley: I don't know.

X-Men: Apocalypse 8/10. TMNT: Out of the Shadows 9/10. RIP Doris Roberts. You were wonderful in ELR.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Nurse Chapel ; Doctor McCoy, doctor McCoy!
McCoy; Yes nurse Chapel
Nurse Capel; We have a problem doctor ,you know that closet for the medicine?
McCoy ;Yeah nurse I know so what's the problem nurse Chapel?
Nurse Chapel; Well ehm lieutenant Sulu won't come out of the closet.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Ha. "Sulu, come out of the closet."

X-Men: Apocalypse 8/10. TMNT: Out of the Shadows 9/10. RIP Doris Roberts. You were wonderful in ELR.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Picard; Mr Data would you do the entire crew a favour and bless us with a rendition of that lovely poem of yours "Ode to Spot".

Entire crew( collectively over the intercom) ; *groan*

Picard; I am glad you all are just as exited as I am,that I've decided to surprise you all with my four hour flute recital.

Several crewmembers; Computer initiate auto destruct sequence authorisation code 1-0-A-3-2-B.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

DAMM YOU CJ! You OWE me a new computer screen and keyboard! 😵

Luke Skywalker, your Mom was hawt! Darth Vader

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Did you spill your drink Kobi?

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

"I don't know"

Luke Skywalker, your Mom was hawt! Darth Vader

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Picard; THERE ARE FIVE LIGHTS! 💡💡💡💡💡

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Picard: Actually, it's three lights now. I believe one of your bulbs may have burned out.
Picard: Made you look!!!



Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Gul Madred;Ah we are dealing with a comedian here,(firmly) No taspar for you put him back in the torture harnas maybe four hours of that will deal with those comedic tendencies.

Picard(ecstatic); Oh how wonderful,thank you,thank you

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Picard:"I love being tortured." Sorry, Kobi, by the way.

X-Men: Apocalypse 8/10. TMNT: Out of the Shadows 9/10. RIP Doris Roberts. You were wonderful in ELR.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Picard; God...oh god did a skunk escaped from the atrium?

Troi (looking accusingly at Worf) ; Oh God.... no sir!

Picard; My god Mr Worf did you have prune juice last night?

Worf; Of course sir it's a warriors drink!

Picard(talking softly to Troi); More like the Klingon version of mustard-gas you mean.

Picard(to intercom); Hazmat team on the bridge on the double,and from now on prune juice is no longer to be served in Ten Forward.

Guinan(smiling mischievously); Worf

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Worf: "I fart in your general direction, Captain."

X-Men: Apocalypse 8/10. TMNT: Out of the Shadows 9/10. RIP Doris Roberts. You were wonderful in ELR.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Picard;Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries Worf.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Lol. Funny, Nex.

Data: "My pee-pee won't work,"

X-Men: Apocalypse 8/10. TMNT: Out of the Shadows 9/10. RIP Doris Roberts. You were wonderful in ELR.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Riker; Did Yar wore out half the male crew and that servo motor as well? Jezus Data that woman was insatiable,and I thought those two Klingon women were almost killing me.

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Honestly, are all of 11 years old?🙄

🎵"Don Matteo" cool show!!!🎶

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Don't you know Nak men mentally never age beyond the age of 11.But no we are far older than 11 but there is also a saying "the mind gets dirty as you get closer to thirty"

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

How about this saying:
By 41 you are completely dumb.

🎵"Don Matteo" cool show!!!🎶

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

That explains a lot since I'm 45

Re: Unlikely things you'll hear in a Star Trek movie or series;

Wait!
So you're dirty AND dumb??????

🎵"Don Matteo" cool show!!!🎶
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