Manchester by the Sea : The people who just don't get it….

The people who just don't get it….

....who call this movie "boring", un-entertaining....depressing, and the opposite of "what movies are made for." I think many of these people are just young, and have not been through significant pain and tragedy in their lives (yet). Unfortunately, you can't live in a bubble forever.....and someday, significant pain and tragedy will befall you. It finds us all.

This movie is not supposed to be unicorns and rainbows....car chases and explosions. Those kinds of cookie-cutter, assembly-line movies are a dime a dozen. But this movie....is made to make you feel. And everything you feel is not going to be (nor should it be) happy-happy joy-joy. Sometimes, it's important to feel sad....scared...confused...exhilerated...overwhelmed....etc, etc. The human experience includes an entire spectrum of emotions. They are what make us grow emotionally....those feelings make us well-rounded, capable human beings who can handle the tough times as well as the easy ones. Those feelings connect us, with the characters....with each other. Because let be tell you....life is back-loaded with pain and heartache, lots of it. The first half of your life is generally pretty happy and care-free. But eventually (when hopefully you've acquired the emotional resources to handle it)....you start losing people you love. You start seeing and experiencing unbearable pain. Life is just that way, and nobody escapes it.

However, when you see a movie like this one, about the human condition...it reminds you that you're not alone. When you see what Lee (and Patrick, and Randi, and Lee's brother, etc...) are going through....you understand that there's no way around it--you simply have to power through it as best you can. You may be all thumbs in doing so...and you may stumble many times. But you get back up and you keep going, as best you can. And you're not alone.

"I can't beat it".

Such an honest moment, in such a raw and honest film about pain and loss. Lee went through something so unbearably awful. Many of us will go through unbearable pain before it's over. And he lost the will to truly live--he was just sleep-walking through life, a shell of a man. And he just couldn't beat his demons. But in caring for Patrick, he found a small reason to step-up and carry on. One of many moments of grace in this film.

The scene where Patty finally breaks down, and all that feel and sadness and pain come spilling out....Lee simply says: "I'm just going to sit here until I know you're ok". And he sits there all night. If that didn't move you, I don't know what to say.

The scene where Lee runs into Randi walking her baby in the stroller.....the exchange they have....if that didn't break your heart, you missed out on some very real and raw emotion a truly special movie can trigger in you.

And it wasn't all doom and gloom. There were the little grace notes...little moments of hope and peace. If you didn't notice them, or feel them....you're not ready to appreciate a movie like this. It won't wash over you the way it has to many. Someday, it might.

And feeling those feelings....is cleansing. It's part of the human experience. Ever had a good cry, and came out the other side of it feeling better for it? That's kinda what this movie does for you, x 10. If you didn't get that....if you only felt robbed because it was "boring" and "depressing".....you missed the point, you missed a special and moving experience. And maybe you should stick with super hero movies until later in life, when the hard stuff starts to hit hcloser to home. I'm sorry.

"I can't beat it, Patty."

"I can't beat it."

Re: The people who just don't get it….

I think it's the opposite. People obsessed with this movie clearly haven't dealt with real-life tragedy. It's like depression is a new concept to them... a new fetish.

I too used to have an appetite for sombre dramas, then my father died and that was the end of that. Real life trumps fiction every time.

Re: The people who just don't get it….

Hmmm, I certainly am sorry for your loss, and I don't for a moment discount your own take on this. For me, I've suffered similar loss...and movies like this can be cathartic. I've never really had an appetite for somber dramas....but once in a while, when a poignant film comes along like this (which isn't often), a movie that moves me, I appreciate it for those reasons.

I don't think there are many people "obsessed" with this movie, at all. When you go to the fan boards for most other popular movies, you'll see a lot more enthusiasm and love than you see here. If anything...the obsession on this board is more about saying: "Hey, I don't get the awards hype....this movie was depressing and boring." And that is a shame. And generally, I think it really very much comes down to age, and what they have experienced in life so far. Ahhh, youth. Unfortunately....you can't live in that invulnerable bubble for long.

Re: The people who just don't get it….

I can't agree more . everything you said is what i was going to say , baby carriage Scene broke my tears . like i said people who dislike or hate this movie i envy them as they never experienced such situation or they were able to deal with it in a different way . i myself really moved by this movie cause of the main character shutting off from the world and not letting any one else enter his life like all that nice girls but he never let them enter his life that scenes was very sad and the way he didn't care about anything .i myself shut my self from the world so i understand what the main character was doing and it was really emotional to see .

Re: The people who just don't get it….

I'm 20, and I think this film is amazing.
Everything, from Affleck's acting to the use of color in the film, was used to make a depressing and cold atmosphere.


I think that the "pain and loss" theme is very clear, but the disconnection of Cassey's Character with the world is an important subject. One of the reasons I think this film should win Best Writing, Is because the script, the dialogue, transmites this feeling like an abyss between Lee and the rest of the world and also the difficulties everyone has when it comes to communicate with people, to make themselves understood.

This is very clear in the scene when Joe's friends asks Lee if he needs something to eat and starts trying to talk with his wife, who is in the other side of the room.


I've never suffered a big tragedy in my life, but I can relate to that feeling of loneliness and helplessness Lee evocates.


About the

the opposite of "what movies are made for."
issue:


My opinion is that movies are not an intrinsic entertainment.
Movies are suposed, not to make you feel good, but to make you feel something. Feeling good, entertained, sad, amazed, etc. They are suposed to be an experience you'll eventually be glad to have.

Re: The people who just don't get it….

Very well said. ^^^^
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