The Soapbox : The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Greetings, citizens .

There seems to be an awful lot of animosity here lately and this has led to me going through a recent period of despondency. Unsure what to do, and emotionally drained, I retreated to my Spiritual Tower to do some soul searching. The solution soon became obvious: it is time for me to confirm my heir and begin the process of my abdication.

Ultimately, I have failed you all, and I am so sorry about this. It is time for new blood, which will herald a new chapter on Bongoland, and I believe it will bring all of the good mongos together as one again. As such, I have undertaken the perilous journey to declare the Ultimate Mongo of 2021, and the winner will be confirmed as Prince Mongo II (or Princess Mongo I), ruler of Bongoland - the Land of the Mongos. Please all gather round and join me in the first stage of this exciting, epic voyage. It makes me so blessed to share this with all of you - it truly warms the cockles of my heart.

Toasted Knobcheese

Not only a hideous monster, but monstrously retarded to boot, Knobcheese has unleashed an explosive stream of gastric leakage daily on our computer screens, and it came as no surprise to hear he’s one of Nettie’s dearest friends. Perennially melting down and making bizarre, expletive-laden rants about paedophilia - his favourite subject - the only time he draws breath is to focus on his second favourite subject - denigrating women.

Commonly referring to women as ‘gash’ and all sorts of other vulgar terms, he’s an odious, little runt with severe mental issues. His hatred of women is as deep-rooted as his sexual perversion and he’s obviously dealt with some sort of trauma in his life. Being repeatedly dropped on his head at birth I would surmise.

Maniacally laughing at his own monumental idiocy and even regularly acquainting himself with the Bongo gifs, which are always a sure sign of lunacy, he’s clearly an autistic mutant lacking any fundamental understanding of social communication. He just can’t behave normally at all, polluting the board round the clock with his broken-brained, babbling bile. Indeed, he seems to be something of a hybrid of the worst 0/10 mongos, and is generally just a witless, charmless brute, with the mental advancement of a 4 year old.

Yet another 0/10 mongo brought to Filmboards by The Gimp, he’s so brutally awful that The Gimp’s even washed his hands of him, refusing to take him to Mongoland (more to follow later!).

Hutch

Highly reminiscent of Lenny from Of Mice and Men, Hutch on the surface is a clueless, naive simpleton - and likely a harmless one. However, his staunch defence of the vile pervert, Toasted Knobcheese, surely brings his character into question. Adopting a see no evil, hear no evil approach to discussions regarding his special friend, his thick skull proves utterly impervious to reality, though having it firmly cemented in sand won’t help that. Quite hilariously, his absurd explanation of the universal revulsion Knobcheese receives is that he’s a ‘pioneer’.

Aside from staunchly championing the main board creep, little else is known about him, other than he lives with the fairies, doesn’t have the slightest clue what is going on and presumably likes to ‘tend the rabbits’. Oh, and he’s Nettie’s friend too, so he’s probably about as socially well-adjusted as Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs.

Pinky

Using semicolons as if she's playing a game of pin the tail on the donkey, Pinky is the all-knowing, all-seeing oracle of the internet, nay life itself, or so she thinks. Like some sort of rabid, demented parrot, Pinky squawks around the board whining about trolls to anyone who will give her the time of day. Indeed, Pinky has a zero-tolerance approach to trolling, and she showed this to great effect when she helped PAGG make new accounts on IMDB to circumvent his regular bans. She also frequently berates posters for having new accounts, even when their accounts are older than her own one.

A loud-mouthed, arrogant, omnipresent fool, Pinky is nothing more than an insult troll of very low intelligence. Another elderly Soapbox troll whose brain obviously stopped developing at a young age, these Soapbox oddballs resemble bizarre cartoon characters. They just aren’t of this world, and it’s no wonder they had to find their own special place to communicate on IMDB. Here on Bongoland we keep them locked up in cages, and the local children enjoy throwing eggs at them. It's good for building camaraderie.

Complaining about how much she hates Filmboards, she continues to document every single moment of her life on the website she professes to hate, which is all a bit strange really. Indeed, her most interesting topic recently was about her battles with constipation and wind. Perhaps she should vary things a bit and start posting about sweetcorn and tuna - she basically is at this stage the female Shooter. Although recently, she has been blaming the victim of online harassment for sharing the abuse she received, and I think even Shooter would be smart enough not to do that.

An insufferable, entitled bore, if I typed ‘Karen’ into Google images, I would expect to see her as the first result.

ITTY

The one eyed, hiking nudist, elliptical machine singing, gambling, strip club loving badass, ITTY, made a recent return to Filmboards - though as Nimda advises, he is on all day, every day, and he never went anywhere.

Generally mustering enough courage to post when he’s loaded at 5AM on a Monday, ITTY is a real fireball of fury just now, and recent contributions have involved him threatening to rape a female poster, and molest another’s children. When he’s not posting, he’s sending emotional PM’s to Nimda begging for forgiveness, and the poor fellow is a miserable, drowning mess.

ITTY regularly contacts law enforcement about the abuse he believes he has been subjected to on Filmboards, and he often encourages new posters to leave, warning them of all the perils of posting and the risk of doxxing. Presumably, he is talking about himself here, given his long running history of harassing posters and their family members. Possibly his crowning achievement was when he called up a poster’s sister and told her that the poster had died.

Moose

With his proclivity for not wearing any underpants, Meltie Moose loves nothing more than taking meth for days on end, along with copious amounts of paint stripper, then exploding with vitriolic attacks at anyone in his vicinity. The king of meltdowns, Moose is a drug addicted, alcoholic, jobless, homophobic mess and he has absolutely nothing going for him whatsoever.

Known primarily as slothgorilla on IMDB, Meltie Moose has a long history of online harassment, and let's hope 2022 is a better year for him. Or better yet, let's hope he does us all a favour and blows his brains out.

Warren

Using his old computer that he advises isn’t powerful enough to quote posts, Warren made an immediate impact on the 0/10 mongo list.

Here at Bongoland, if someone is behaving in a particularly awkward, cringeworthy way, we say it’s like your uncle dancing alone at a wedding, hyperactively pulling off strange dance moves. Well, folks, Warren is like that uncle dancing at the wedding, who then proceeds to pull his penis out, start masturbating aggressively, then defecate everywhere, before taking all his clothes off and rolling around the dancefloor naked in his own filth, crying like a baby.

Millard

Posting every single inane thought that enters that lump between his ears, Millard is an extremely angry, self-absorbed, self-hating leftist. All he wants to do is sit on his fat arse all day and mooch off of the hard work of others, like a typical, good Corbynite. Making the recently returned, ultra-effeminate, beta male, Frankenfag, look like Tyson Fury in comparison, the six hours a week Millard arduously spends on the local Tesco checkout are all too much, and he longs to return to the glory days of life on the dole.

Looking like Gandalf got bored one day and decided to pump Bilbo Baggins full of helium, covid has made next to no impact on his life as he never went outdoors anyway. He has no interest in education, career progression or generally bettering himself in any way. He thrives on wallowing in his own misery and he’s too lazy to do anything about it.

Rumours of a passionate romance with the similarly inclined Miley refuse to go away. Indeed, word on the street is a duet has been formed, and a Christmas Day love song album promising to be the greatest since Katie Price’s and Peter Andre’s ‘A Whole New World’, could be set to smash British record sales.

The Gimp

The Gimp is one of the most infamous 0/10 mongos of all time, and is in the running to win the Ultimate Mongo of the Year Award for a record 22nd year straight. Heavily opinionated, but poorly educated, and with ignorance only rivalled by his arrogance, The Gimp is an obstreperous ignoramus. His brain moves about as fast as a quadriplegic tortoise and he obviously has severe learning difficulties, along with crippling autism.

Relations between Nimda and The Gimp recently broke down altogether, with Nimda finally banning him. Creating a new board with the claim it was to find new posters for Filmboards, in typical Gimp fashion the polar opposite was predictably achieved. The more message boards there are the more fragmented the post-IMDB community becomes, and he knows this.

In truth, the reason he created the board was so he was in control. The penny finally dropped that he was an administrator on Filmboards in name only, with no say in the running of the site and only moderator permissions. And thus, Mongoland, a sinister offshoot of the idyllic paradise I have formed out of the mongos of Bongoland, was born. Claiming to be an exclusive community which hilariously votes in its members, in practice it’s an open door policy with everyone apart from Monicah and Shooter allowed (and Knobcheese!).

Essentially, The Gimp has two types of posts: puerile, sexual idiocy, invariably mentioning buttsex, or boring everyone to tears with his incessant, attention-seeking rambling. Some of the sexual comments he’s made over the years have just been outright perverted, with comments about wearing underwear for days on end and lots of strange remarks about children. It really is no surprise he spent so many years in prison! Additionally, he jumps in headfirst into every topic making it all about him, regularly being beyond clueless about the topic being discussed, and I’ve yet to see him win a single argument.

His exit from Filmboards brought an immediate improvement, with topics actually having a chance to develop and breathe, and not getting ruined with his malignant obstinance. The loss of his woeful moderation where he arbitrarily deleted and moved posts was welcome too. Indeed, The Gimp is to message board administration what Special Officer Doofy is to law enforcement. I wonder if he can spot an ITTY account yet?

Donna

A lot of Filmboards posters are outright weird, and then you have Donna. Earlier in the year, she formed a very short-lived double act with the similarly deranged Azn_2 (Team DonnAzn), and they plotted to take down everyone who had mistreated them, despite being two posters known for little else than harassing and viciously attacking people. Azn voiced her concerns loudly about racism Donna had apparently been subjected to, before falling out with her two days later and repeatedly calling her a monkey.

Relations at Team DonnAzn have continued to venture southward from this point onwards, and their last interaction was a topic where they argued at length about who had the face most resembling a butthole.

Events with Donna took another sinister turn recently. Vocaroos were posted where she could be heard clearly bullying her daughter into helping her doxx Monicah. Unfortunately, this is yet more evidence that Donna is a repugnant specimen in desperate need of being institutionalised. I’m not sure if we here at Bongoland have the necessary infrastructure to treat someone so insane (autistic retardation is our main speciality), and indeed Arkham Asylum might be the better fit. Failing that, perhaps the local vet practice so she can be put down like the dog she is.

To her credit, she does have occasional moments of clarity where she can be quite on point in her thoughts, but this is few and far between, and more rants about Lilith telepathically controlling her furniture and Nimda making the car outside her home honk its horn are never far away. The good news is she advises she will be reporting all of these purported transgressions to the FBI, and hopefully this results in the resolution that Donna clearly needs.

As things stand, Filmboards only gets 15 minutes a week of respite from her 24/7 unrelenting spam, which is when she has her weekly sleep, presumably in a coffin. Recently, she was so broke that she couldn't afford the internet for a month, and it was the best month in Fimboards’ history.

Azn

And this brings us on to Azn. In a community filled with nutcases, she still sticks out like a sore thumb, and nothing she says really makes the slightest bit of sense. There’s lots of strange posts about ‘wheit’ people’, her being ‘hot IRL’, ‘Asian narcissism’ and how pro Asia she generally is. There’s little evidence of the latter part though given she relentlessly harrasses and abuses anyone she perceives as being Asian, referring to them as ‘slanty eyed ching chong ding dongs ping pongs’, or words to that effect.

Ebony, a poster who last replied to her 14 years ago on IMDB and has blocked her on various accounts since, continues to get regularly abused by Azn. Azn clearly has major mental problems and this is no laughing matter, but this doesn’t give her carte blanche to be a repulsive, vicious monster, which is all she is.

Two things can certainly be sure: Azn is insane, and she’s very, very angry. I’m also not sure if I have ever seen her talk about a movie she has seen once, so perhaps she could find something better to spend her free time on, like crawling out of TV sets and scaring children.

And that’s all for now, my beautiful people. There’s another part to come and then a voting process to begin before my successor can be announced, on what shall be a momentous day for all at Bongoland.

Have a wonderful Christmas, folks!

Greetings. I arrived on Planet Earth from Planet Zambodia 333 years ago to rule Bongoland, as Prince of the Mongos

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

oh my. i feel like Reginald Johnson paid us a visit, but i will need another line to read through all this, hol up..

u know i've always admired Reggie.

suck it. Vlad is not real.

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Greetings, child. I'm a little busy pondering life on my Spiritual Tower just now, but I will be happy to discuss this topic with you later.

Greetings. I arrived on Planet Earth from Planet Zambodia 333 years ago to rule Bongoland, as Prince of the Mongos

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

yes i respect that my prince. i just love this gushing of urs. i'll get to the reading now.

suck it. Vlad is not real.

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Oh fuck yes Sophie ,keep gushing 💦💦💦

Gone

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1



suck it. Vlad is not real.

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1



I got the wild style, always been a foul child. My guns go "BOOM BOOM!" and yo' guns go "pow pow"

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1



This is THE best thing I've read this year.

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

yes. believe me when i say that i really missed this side of him. back then, he would grace us with posts like this one on a regular basis, roasting all the popular people and it always made them so mad, on both boards, GoT and TWd bc deep down they knew he was right about them 😂 i wish i could find his first slating review of me right now when i was a newb and he really did not like me (received a 0/10 as well) at first, but i'm on my phone and not at home, so i'll have to show u later. just saying, he was not completely off about me and i accepted it.

his next review of me was slightly more favourable then. i think in the end i've got raised to a solid 6/10.

suck it. Vlad is not real.

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

roasting all the popular people and it always made them so mad

Interesting how some people interpret things which literally leave no room for interpretation. He blasted the mongos with negativity, but praised the actual good posters. I never received anything but glowing reviews, so your version of what happened is just your typical attempt to float a dead boat with hot air, which you supply in abundance.

The Lion does not give a fuck. Bring. More. Sheep.

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

i didnt say "best" posters, i said "popular" posters. but come on, u were never one of the popular posters. it would not have suited u and u wanted everyone (except of seaward) to despise u.

the popular people were Fitz, Seaward, Con, Future, Fuhrer, even Doodle was a widely liked one. well, and me of course. all of these people got roasted regularly by Reggie.

suck it. Vlad is not real.

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

The got board was insufferable at that point. So much back slapping and cliquey behaviour

Felt so good to just ruin the entire board 😂

I got the wild style, always been a foul child. My guns go "BOOM BOOM!" and yo' guns go "pow pow"

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

aw come on, don't u miss the GoT board and its people?

and maybe u are just salty bc u werent part of the core clique…?

suck it. Vlad is not real.

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

P.S. I cannot wait for Toasted to read it, looking forward to seeing that spitting gif again 😕

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

ikr and i'll make sure he won't miss it!

@ToastedCheese, get yr roasting.

suck it. Vlad is not real.

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Oh Sophieslit, wonders never cease, trolling around wondering where the stench comes from, which is from the one and only perverted psychotic pedo hunting meth head Jedi Jizz Pants, also cyberdoms Ultimate Mongo.

The stench is also emanating from your own unsanitary jizz filled gash being the skanky slag that you are….





Norman! What did you put in my tea?

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

@I love hutch i'm not trying to get u involved just showing u one of the lovely things ur friend says to me.

suck it. Vlad is not real.

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Leave Hutch alone!



I got the wild style, always been a foul child. My guns go "BOOM BOOM!" and yo' guns go "pow pow"

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

It's like this

If he doesn't see it happen, it simply doesn't happen.

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Yes you are, you stinking lying twat..

Norman! What did you put in my tea?

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

You're a monster 🤮

I got the wild style, always been a foul child. My guns go "BOOM BOOM!" and yo' guns go "pow pow"

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

You’re a freak! 😱

Norman! What did you put in my tea?

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

He didn't disappoint, what a fabulous meltdown

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

He's beyond parody. He's proven every single point raised by the OP .

I got the wild style, always been a foul child. My guns go "BOOM BOOM!" and yo' guns go "pow pow"

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

I think that's true of most of the list.

Although I'm still wondering if Warren is someone's genius sock, nobody can be that stupid and cringe surely?

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

It's the same person behind the Erica sock.

What happened to the American Dream? It came true! You're lookin' at it…

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Do you know The Gimp has been telling people on his board that we bullied an innocent woman ?

You'd think after she posted vocaroos of 3 different people she claimed were her the penny might have dropped that she's a fraud and a total fucking weirdo.

I got the wild style, always been a foul child. My guns go "BOOM BOOM!" and yo' guns go "pow pow"

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

It is impossible to bully the innocent.

"She's" guilty as charged, catfishing without a clue, third strike.

Next batter up!

What happened to the American Dream? It came true! You're lookin' at it…

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Add me to FL pls

I got the wild style, always been a foul child. My guns go "BOOM BOOM!" and yo' guns go "pow pow"

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

i had to read this in small doses but i'm through now and it's brilliant, my dear Prince. thank u for this very Special christmas present, as i've said it brought back dear memories of old Reggie where ever he might be causing trouble now these days.



i must go now myself but i will be back some time later.

merry christmas! 🌲

suck it. Vlad is not real.

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Merry Christmas to you too, darling 🎅!

Greetings. I arrived on Planet Earth from Planet Zambodia 333 years ago to rule Bongoland, as Prince of the Mongos

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Merry Christmas to you too, darling 🎅!



Norman! What did you put in my tea?

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Wow, is he some kind of evil psychatrist?

https://mightdeletelater.freeforums.net/

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

No, he's just a common troll with delusions of grandeur.

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

No, he's just a common troll with delusions of grandeur.






Norman! What did you put in my tea?

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Lmao

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

yes. evil and brilliant.

suck it. Vlad is not real.

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Duuuuuuuude!

Way too much time on your hands

If we take the time to see with the heart and not with the mind, we shall see that we are surrounded completely by angels ~ Carlos Santana

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Uh-huh

Greetings. I arrived on Planet Earth from Planet Zambodia 333 years ago to rule Bongoland, as Prince of the Mongos

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1



If we take the time to see with the heart and not with the mind, we shall see that we are surrounded completely by angels ~ Carlos Santana

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Is that the 'Tiger King'? The good people of Bongoland are currently raving about the show. It just aired on the special version of Netflix I let them watch.

Greetings. I arrived on Planet Earth from Planet Zambodia 333 years ago to rule Bongoland, as Prince of the Mongos

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Tiger King is muy unattractive, Senor Mongo

If we take the time to see with the heart and not with the mind, we shall see that we are surrounded completely by angels ~ Carlos Santana

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Way too much time on your hands
Better he be on here projecting his insecurities, than keeping his hands on little kids, being the perverted meth head freak that he is.

Norman! What did you put in my tea?

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

You're just the gift that keeps on giving, huh?

Greetings. I arrived on Planet Earth from Planet Zambodia 333 years ago to rule Bongoland, as Prince of the Mongos

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Its really all about you isn't it…..



Norman! What did you put in my tea?

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Yep

"My life is over. I might as well dance with Johnny Slash!"

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1



Norman! What did you put in my tea?

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

A bit verbose for my inebriation level, but I can answer this even without a tl;dr skim.

Pinky the autistic liar, hands down.

The Lion does not give a fuck. Bring. More. Sheep.

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

You need look no further than yourself, Mongo Stinky Sock Troll….






Norman! What did you put in my tea?

Re: The QUEST to Find the ULTIMATE MONGO of 2021! And My SUCCESSOR! PART 1

Ladies and gentlemen - exhibit A.

Greetings. I arrived on Planet Earth from Planet Zambodia 333 years ago to rule Bongoland, as Prince of the Mongos
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