No Time to Die : So unbelievably booooooring!

I hate daniel "no Bond" craig. Well, not personally, he could be a nice chap for all I know but he IS NOT BOND.

Fleming's Bond was tall, had dark hair and was handsome. daniel "no Bond" craig is an ugly blond haired dwarf. So he's an absolute miscast to begin with.

ALL his Bond movies sucked harder than a Nilfisk. They were dreadful.

This latest installment is probably the worst though. That's 2.5 hours of my life I'll never get back.

Spoilers below.

The movie starts stupid, some woman (who?) and some child (who?) and then some masked killer (who?) that shoots the woman and then pulls the girl by her hair (if I remember correctly) out of the water. Immediately followed by a scene where some chick surfaces in some tropical looking water. Is she the same girl? We don't know. Probably? And the dude she's with (daniel "no Bond" craig) is he the masked killer? Probably? I mean, if the girl is supposed to be the same between the two scenes then the guy is too, right? Turns out not to be the case. Confusing.

Bond needs to be about a handsome dude who shags (lots of) hot women, lots of action, cool gadgets. What we get is almost a drama, with Bond talking about FEELINGS FFS! barbara broccoli has totally ruined the franchise by making Bond movies a feminazi wokefest.

Take Moneypenny. Has always been a WHITE woman. Now she's a token black chick. Felix Leiter, used to be (in the days of the best Bond ever: Roger Moore) a WHITE handsome man, now (and for a little while) it's again some token black fella who looks more like a drug dealer. Then there's a totally inept new 007, again a token BLACK chick, I think, it could have been Wesley Snipes with curly hair though. I don't mind blacks but they shouldn't be in Bond movies, unless a villain (like mr. Big in the best Bond movie: Live and Let Die, also best theme song).

Ah yeah, the theme song. I already mentioned Live and Let Die. Try to sing Live and Let Die, do it NOW. Did you notice you could? We all now the chorus "… Live and Let Die… BOOM. BOOM. Live and Let Die… Tadada, tadada, etc.". Now sing "For Your Eyes Only". You remember that one too, right? Sing "Goldfinger"! Yes, that one you too remember. Those were GREAT songs! But especially since daniel "no Bond" craig the theme songs are simply forgettable. The only thing I remember from this very movie's theme song is that is was boring AF. Another song unworthy of being in a Bond movie.

Then there was M, whose name turns out to be 'Mallory' which is a name as gay as they come. It should have stayed 'M', keep it a mystery what it stands for.

Then Q. Desmond's Q was the perfect Q. Though I like John Cleese he was not a good Q but still HEAPS better than the current Q who is - undoubtedly - a virgin, gay and a nerd.

The story itself is convoluted. Who is the villain? At first I thought it was Hans Landa, then I thought it was Blofeld but no, it's Freddy Mercury. That's too many villains, and they try to kill each other? Confusing.

And then nanobots? Seriously? And just touching someone kills them instantly? That's about as stupid as "Uploading virus" in Independence Day.

Terrible script.

Some good action scenes I must admit, and that bridge in Norway we get to see from more angles than we care for.

The ONLY thing that really surprised me very positively was Ana de Armas, she is something special, she absolutely stole the scenes she was in.

I give this movie a 2/10 and that is because of Ana de Armas, without her it would have been 1/10.

Bring back the OLD Bond. The male chauvinist pig that we love so much. The one that shags anything that moves, has great oneliners, does not talk about his feelings, doesn't get himself killed, with a themesong that sticks and that uses the James Bond Theme.

In other words: KICK OUT BARBARA BROCCOLI and get a director like Guy Hamilton!

I think that the masked killer at the beginning was Mr Robot.

But yeah, shit film overall because it was a shit story.

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Ding Dong! 🤡🌎

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😺 Schrodinger's Cat walks into a bar, and doesn't. 🤨 Let's go, Brandon! 🤨 Try that in a small town.

So unbelievab;y goooooood!

You’re very concerned with Bond being a “handsome dude.” Lol

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You stupid fuck.

If I have to look at some dude for 2.5 hours I'd rather see someone who's goodlooking than some ugly blond dwarf, yes. It's the same reason villains are always ugly, that way it's easy to tell good from bad. Though in a way I guess it's fitting that daniel "no Bond" craig is ugly because he IS the bad guy, or at least the bad actor. I liked daniel "no Bond" craig best in Star Wars.

"ALL his Bond movies sucked harder than a Nilfisk. They were dreadful."

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LOL, Your definitely in the minority on that one.

I know that a majority of Bond Fans (including myself) actually like Casino Royale, Skyfall, and No Time To Die.

That's likely becuase you are a millennial. You don't know any better. You didn't grow up with Connerry, Moore, Dalton and Brosnan. You are not familiar with Fleming's books. You don't care about cool oneliners like "Any higher mr Bond and my ears will pop". You don't value the cool opening scene with the dripping blood. You grew up with daniel "no Bond" craig, who isn't Bond, and the movies he features in aren't Bond movies except for the fact he happens to be called James Bond. The fact is YOU DON'T KNOW BOND.

You are the equivalent of someone who has only eaten at McDonald's and thinks their burger is the best food in the world. Whereas us sophisticated folk that have been around for longer have had the pleasure of dining in the finest restaurants where we had the best food in the world and a Bolinger '68 to wash it down with. It's hard to convince you that you are wrong because you are a millennial and woke and all critical thinking has been removed at school, if the daniel "no Bond" craig movie is advertised as the best Bond movie ever than you simply take that for granted.

And please learn the difference between your and you're, and fan is with a lowercase f.

*sigh* millennials…

I did start off with Pierce Brosnan.

The First James Bond Movie that I saw at the Movie Theater was "GOLDENEYE" which is 1 of My Favorite Bond Movies.

"The fact is YOU DON'T KNOW BOND"

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Says the Man who clearly isn't smart enough to know how to respect the thoughts, views, feelings, and opinions of people who don't agree with him when it comes to James Bond. That too is a fact!

Oh. My! Another millennial who is butthurt about feelings and is offended. Why is the whole world obsessed with feelings? Damn snowflakes! Bond wouldn't care about feelings. A real Bond that is, someone like Connery or Moore.

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😺 Schrodinger's Cat walks into a bar, and doesn't. 🤨 Let's go, Brandon! 🤨 Try that in a small town.

I thought this movie was really cool. The nanotech was like a virus which fit with the times we are in. The older movies from like the 90s and earlier just don't have enough modern day tech to compete with the Craig movies.

Are you kidding me!?

In Goldfinger the Aston Martin DB5 already had satnav (plus machine guns and ejector seat)!

Thunderball had a jetpack, waaaaay ahead of its time!

Diamonds are Forever had a fingerprint scanner, only recently been introduced on mobile phones!

The Spy Who Loved Me had a submersible Lotus Esprit!

Octopussy had a smartwatch (with tv screen)!

Those are proper high tech gadgets, way ahead of their time and totally up to par with modern day technology.

The daniel "no Bond" craig movies lack all this cool gadget stuff. And anyone with half a brain knows at least a little bit about nanotech and would know that the nanotech in this horrible movie is utter bollocks. It's as dumb as all those movies where some wizzkid cracks someone's password in 1 minute. It's as sumb as jeff goldblum uploading a virus to an alien technology spaceship. It's ludicrous. It's beyond belief. It's beyond (science) fiction, it's just dumb.

barbara cauliflower and daniel "no Bond" craig have utterly destroyed the Bond franchise. They make action movies now, dumb action movies that have NOTHING in common with a proper Bond movie.

Not boring imo, but not Bond! A generic actioner is all it is.

Never a Craig fan and while there were some good sequences, the film was too drawn out and it had a mundane/dreary feel about it. It was also full of its own self-importance and wanted to be something sublime with emotional impact, but its 007 whose a narcissistic sociopath, and the film is ultimately shallow.

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Norman! What did you put in my tea?