The Soapbox : So Playboy Magazine has it's first fat girl cover

Haley "Hippo" Hasselhoff

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The only poster who had his account banned 4 times without ever breaking any rules each of those times.

Being David Hasselhoff's daughter comes with its perks, I guess.

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Hark! Harold the angel sings.

Well she didn't take all those beatings and 3:00am sneak in's for nothing.


I have a great Hasselhoff story when I met him and his wife and 2 daughters. It happened in like 2007. I'm just in too much pain to tell it now.

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The only poster who had his account banned 4 times without ever breaking any rules each of those times.

We may not get along, but, if you're in pain, I do hope that you feel better soon.

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Hark! Harold the angel sings.

I have never heard of her, so I Googled it just now. Is she really David's daughter, or is the surname just a coincidence?

Your comment also reminded me of something. Ozzie Osborne's daughter once tried to pose for Playboy, and Hefner responded in an interview, "We don't Photoshop our models that much."

Ouch!

It looks like it's actually his daughter; she talks about having his support in one of the articles about the Playboy modeling gig.

Poor kid. It takes very specific facial and body structures to be a Playboy model, and the vast majority of us do not possess those features.

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Hark! Harold the angel sings.

It takes very specific facial and body structures to be a Playboy model, and the vast majority of us do not possess those features.

Exactly. And even then, it's Photoshopped and filtered to hell and back.

If they ever have an "Over 40 with Thunder Thighs and Crow's Feet" edition, it will be my if break!

You have both the beauty and figure to be in Playboy.

Your BMI is a solid 10 points higher than hers, fam. You jealous no one wants your voluptuous figure on the cover of their magazine?

Lol. Actually unless you have been sneaking into my bedroom at night. I beg to differ homeboy.

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The only poster who had his account banned 4 times without ever breaking any rules each of those times.

i've seen hotter fat chicks

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men are men and women are women.

She's obese

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Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

Thicccccc.

oh she that fucc my whole life up type of thicc

That Hasselhoff snout and jaw though…

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Alba gu bràth

The Hoff genes are strong with this one.

This is awesome. I no longer need to fantasize about David transitioning.

*Throws out cum-stained Knight Rider 1984 annual and orders the latest edition of Playboy*

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R. I. P. FFS (1975-2021)
Murdered by a Teutonic catfish

She's not my type. But she is a beautiful woman.

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Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

I can't get past the weight to know if she's pretty or not. I don't even care what that says about me. I am but a lowly, hormonally governed male.

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R. I. P. FFS (1975-2021)
Murdered by a Teutonic catfish

Some guys like voluptuous.

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Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
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They say they do. They even believe they do. But I refuse to believe they actually do. If they were successful, good looking guys who could have anyone they set their heart on, they would not choose voLUMPtuous.

If you ask me, they're just convincing themselves it's their preference. Their taste becomes more achievable. It's a delusion they sell themselves to remove the need to challenge for the superior females. It eliminates the feeling of failure they'd get when they lost the contest to a more superior male challenger.

*Deliberate misspelling because it annoys me that somebody missed a trick when they invented the word!

ETA: This is not to say that all men want size zero, or whatever. I mean that there is a perfect female form that all men would prefer. I am, and have always been, attracted to women of varying shapes, but my chimp brain knows that 1960's era Raquel Welch is the perfect woman.

The girl on the cover of that magazine is still attractive, but she could improve if she had a more healthy physique.

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R. I. P. FFS (1975-2021)
Murdered by a Teutonic catfish

People have all types of sexual fetishes though. I mean you've heard the term "chubby chasers". She is a very attractive woman in the face.

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Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

More cushion for the pushin'
More earth for your girth
More cellulite for your delight

lol

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Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

I don't disagree. I'm explaining why they have their fetishes. They're picking low hanging, but less sweet fruit because they lack the confidence to climb higher in the tree to reach the sweetest.

If I was wrong, a large number of celebrities and sports stars would date plumper ladies, because statistically, some of them would have the "voluptuous" fetish.

Let's be honest, we all know it's true. I know it's an uncomfortable thing to admit and to openly state, but there you go.

I wish I'd said nothing at all now, because I feel ashamed to think that I may be upsetting PAGG with this post, but I guess I can't unsay what I've already said, so may as well explain it some more.

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R. I. P. FFS (1975-2021)
Murdered by a Teutonic catfish

So you think chubby chasers are just ugly guys settling for less? I really don't think so.

I mean I can understand some goodlooking guys liking giant butts and giant boobs, like a stone age Venus idol, a fertility amulet.

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Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

So you think chubby chasers are just ugly guys settling for less? I really don't think so.

Not necessarily ugly. They don't believe, for whatever reason, that they're worth more.

That "woman" is 'ugly' by anybody's standard!

Trying to deconstruct ancient art is futile. We have no clue what that idol represents. We invariably use flawed and circular logic to give it meaning.

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R. I. P. FFS (1975-2021)
Murdered by a Teutonic catfish

Trying to deconstruct ancient art is futile. We have no clue what that idol represents. We invariably use flawed and circular logic to give it meaning.

Yes.

Finally. Fucking FINALLY, she agrees with something I've said.

I'm retiring from message boards while I'm at the top of my game.

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R. I. P. FFS (1975-2021)
Murdered by a Teutonic catfish

I only bother arguing with you because you're good at it!

Screen capped.

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R. I. P. FFS (1975-2021)
Murdered by a Teutonic catfish

Trying to deconstruct ancient art is futile. We have no clue what that idol represents. We invariably use flawed and circular logic to give it meaning.

Oh I have to disagree there. I believe these stone Venuses were fertility symbols to represent bounty and success and obviously reproduction. They've been found across Europe and Asia, different cultures, same general design.

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Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

I believe

Yes. You don't know.

We interpret art. Unless we can ask the artist his intent, we can only speculate.

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R. I. P. FFS (1975-2021)
Murdered by a Teutonic catfish

Dude it's obvious. Accentuated breasts, vaginas and butts. And the same meme appears in distant and unrelated cultures.

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Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

It may be. We can't know.

Maybe it was a representation of the god of contraception. Maybe in their pantheon there was a god that limited childbirth. Maybe it was a nefarious god, or maybe it was a blessing for women who were sick and tired of shitting out kids.

Imagine if all that was left of our culture one day was the magazine cover you linked above. Maybe they'd think that we all thought that the fruit of the Hoff's loins was the sexiest woman we'd ever set eyes on.

ETA: Studying that idol I have my own, personal interpretation. I too believe it's a fertility god. However, the features are exaggerated. It's akin to a caricature. It's telling its viewer that there are some features that are indicative of fertility; wide hips, narrow waist, larger breasts, and so on. It's not a marble statue from Ancient Greece, trying to capture the beauty of the human form. It doesn't tell me anything about what that culture considered beautiful.

If I could show them 1960s Rachel Welch, they'd agree with me that that is what female perfection looks like.

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R. I. P. FFS (1975-2021)
Murdered by a Teutonic catfish

Lol.

You've heard of Rubenesque:

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Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

The image hasn't loaded, unfortunately.

Also, please see my edits. I think I've significantly improved my argument!

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R. I. P. FFS (1975-2021)
Murdered by a Teutonic catfish

Well Rubenesque women were fat. During the Renaissance period that was the ideal of beauty. Our standard of beauty now for women is tall and slim, but still with big breasts.

I do believe a caveman would look at a woman and think "she has wide hips and a big ass", she'll give me many sons to help me".

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Administrator
"filmboards is a bold experiment in free speech and anarchy"
I GameBoy

I do believe a caveman would look at a woman and think "she has wide hips and a big ass", she'll give me many sons to help me".

I completely agree. Way up until the modern era, no doubt. Any period where it was important to have as many children as possible to help make your 'tribe' strong.

Things have changed though. We have different drivers now. We have sex for leisure and love, so now it's no longer about fertility but pleasure.

We've gone from what produces the most to what feels the best. Those base needs determine what we perceive to be beautiful. I'm sure some evolutionary stray ends still exist, but there's nothing in our coding that should make a man want fat, surely?

I was sent a video recently of a really small man trying to get his dick into a ridiculously huge woman. He was simply too small to get past the fat. It was hilarious, but also deleted pretty quickly because I would be mortified if somebody thought I was into shit like that!

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R. I. P. FFS (1975-2021)
Murdered by a Teutonic catfish

tiddies tho

Wow I really hate this post.

Thanks for letting me know.

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R. I. P. FFS (1975-2021)
Murdered by a Teutonic catfish

I'll live.

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R. I. P. FFS (1975-2021)
Murdered by a Teutonic catfish

What's mean about not caring that you don't like my post?

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R. I. P. FFS (1975-2021)
Murdered by a Teutonic catfish

You didn't like it. That's fine. You're entitled to that view. What more is there to discuss?

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R. I. P. FFS (1975-2021)
Murdered by a Teutonic catfish

If you ask me, they're just convincing themselves it's their preference. Their taste becomes more achievable. It's a delusion they sell themselves to remove the need to challenge for the superior females. It eliminates the feeling of failure they'd get when they lost the contest to a more superior male challenger.

okie this is fucking retarded

as a man who is in great shape and can get any woman of any size or attractiveness, i like it all

i go thicc girl, fit girl, anorexic girl, obese girl

my relationship track record is a whole mixed bag, and it’s cause i’m
genuinely attracted to all shapes and sizes

there aint no “convincing” going on here, it’s really just whatever i am in the mood for

although if there’s one small part of what u said in that post that i somewhat agree with, is that if i were to be in a long term relationship i would probably go for more of a fit athletic type

i find i prefer thiccer girls for straight up banging or hookups etc

i also know many very athletic male model types who are dating total BIG OLE BIGGINS type ladies, and it’s their choice 🤷🏻‍♂️ they’re not settling

So, by your own (thanks for being honest) admittance, you do have a type. And it's not fat.

That's my point.

Personally, I only sleep with the very finest. I don't settle for anything less than the absolute pinnacle of the female form.

When I find her, she can take my virginity.

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R. I. P. FFS (1975-2021)
Murdered by a Teutonic catfish