Sports : NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

Had some pretty good predictions last week. Predicted the Jags would lose and Urban Meyer's job was going to be on the line (though for different reasons). Predicted Tom Brady and Bill Belichick's post-game handshake was going to be awkward. Forgot what the other predictions were, but I'm sure I was on the money with them.

Now for this week!

Thursday Night!

Rums @ Seahags - An NFC West matchup. I think I'm going to cum. That's not my prediction, I'm just saying I really enjoy getting another NFC West matchup. Russell Wilson and the 12th Men v Matt Stafford and his Merry Men. Good shit, yo. Real good shit. Said this on v2, and I'll say it again here: the Rams are definitely the better team on paper. The problem is the Rams will be playing @ Seattle and Seattle has a guy by the name of Russell Wilson (the QB, not the filmboards poster) as their QB. Dude's great. Definitely a first-ballot hall of famer. He's also insanely clutch. I predict he'll be given the ball on the Seahawks' 10-yard line, down 5 with less than 90 seconds to go and no timeouts. And he will lead an epic drive all the way down to the endzone for a touchdown. I predict Metcalf will be the one catching the TD pass. This is Rocket's Game of the Week.

Sunday Games!!!

Broncos @ Stillers - As a Steelers fan, I must say I have zero faith that they'll get the W. The Broncos are a much better team. Big Ben's arm is gone. Steelers are going to get thumped.

Brownies @ Browns West (aka. Chargers) - This is Rocket's Game of the Week(end)! Both teams are legit. The Browns' defense is excellent (pretty sure it's the best in the league). The Chargers' offense is electrifying *pauses for effect*. I fully expect the Chargers to want to put this game in Baker's hands and put all of their efforts on defense to stopping or limiting the run. Baker is due for another great game, so that's quite alright. Browns get the W!

J-e-t-s @ Fulcons - Both teams are a combined 2-6. So it's safe to say this won't be a barn burner. Not going to predict who wins since I genuinely don't give a shit. Fuck this game.

Puckers @ Bungels - This has potential to be a highly compelling game. I have to imagine the Bengals' success is a mirage and they really aren't all that good. But as I've said a few times before, the Burrow to Chase connection is outstanding. Ay-ay-ron has been playing excellent football since opening the season with an epic faceplant. So this will likely be a shootout-type of game. Packers win.

Lions @ Vikings - Lions won't win this. They're not a terrible team by any means, but they will definitely find a way to not win this game.

Lolipophins @ Buccos - So I don't know what to make of the Fins. Heading into the season, I thought they were going to be a really fuckin good team. So far, they've been… well… not really fuckin good. The Buccaneers are clearly the much better team simply by having Tommy Boy Brady as their QB. This will be a slaughter.

Saints @ The Football Team of Washington, D.C. - Two more teams that I don't know what to make of. The Saints should be a playoff team, but they haven't really played like one since week 1. The Football Team should have a great defense, but their defense has been less than stellar this season. So, I really don't know how to predict this one. I'm actually stumped this time.

Iggies @ Punthers - I don't know why, but I'm predicting an upset with this one. The Iggles aren't by any means a better team than the Panthers, but I just don't know if I buy the Panthers being a quality team.

Tittans @ Baby Jaguars - Urban Meyer gets his first win as an NFL head coach. Then he goes out to get a proper lap dance from a proper stripper. I'm kidding. The Titans are a mess, but the Jaguars are an atrocious football team.

Patriots @ Texaints - Not that the Pats are a world beating-type team, but the Texans are going to probably get abused by them.

Burrs @ Raiders - Raiders have a get-right game after getting exposed by the Chargers. The Bears are one of the worst teams in the NFL and the Raiders have no business losing to them. If the Raiders lose this one, then Gruden should get fired.

Giants @ Cowboys - No sense in trying to build any suspense here. The Cowboys are one of the best teams in the NFL this season and the Giants are one of the worst. The Cowboys are going to win by at least 17 points.

49ers @ Cardinals - Sweet baby Jesus! Another matchup of NFC West teams. I'm getting a little turned on thinking about that. Oh, fuck yes. I'm ready to cume. Kyler Murray (aka. Danger Mouse) is basically a Patrick Mahomes/Lamar Jackson hybrid. Watching him play QB is magical. I love him. My prediction for this game: 49ers get the win. Don't really have a compelling reason why I think that. I just had them winning this game when I wrote down my predictions before the beginning of the season and see no reason to change that.

Bills @ Chiefs - This is my Game of the Year pick right here. A rematch of last year's AFC Championship game sees probably the best team in the NFL go against the best QB in the league with the best tight end in the league and one of the best receivers in the league. The Bills' defense is outstanding, but I just can't see them doing anything to stop Mahomes. The game is also in Arrowhead. This game is like the Rams and Seahawks game where one team that is clearly better will head into a stadium that's known to have rowdy and loud fans. But, unlike the Thursday night game, I will pick the Bills to win. So yeah, there you go.

Colts @ Ravens - The Colts have been an insanely disappointing team this season whereas the Ravens have somehow managed to hold on despite all of the injuries they have. Lamar Jackson has elevated his passing abilities, which is a scary prospect since he's been a really good QB despite being rather limited at passing. This game will likely be a close one, but I think the Ravens will be getting the W.

Mephistopheles is just beneath and he's reaching up to grab me.

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

Rums @ Seahags - An NFC West matchup. I think I'm going to cum. That's not my prediction, I'm just saying I really enjoy getting another NFC West matchup. Russell Wilson and the 12th Men v Matt Stafford and his Merry Men. Good shit, yo. Real good shit.

That’s accurate. The Rams have more depth than the Seahawks do on all sides of the ball. Russell Wilson will keep the game closer.

“There are no atheists in foxholes, eh?”-Keith Jennings from the Omen.

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

I dunno what you base your picks on but somewhere, somehow there has to be a scientific formula for which team has the better name and the look of their logos, helmets and unis.

Look at the Cleveland Clowns.
No logo on the helmet. The helmet is the logo. Lame.
Are they sponsored by Tootsie Roll® with those unis?
And they have the name of the same color as your shit.
As well as UPS but at least they don't stink.
Losers.

Seattle Seahawks vs LA Rams.
All neon green.
You serious with that?
Lost.
LA had the better unis, colors and look.

That would be 1 for 1.

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

Your predictions are shit and you should kill yourself.

I live. I die. I live again.

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Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

W t fuck

I live. I die. I live again.

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Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

What’s your problem, guy?

I live. I die. I live again.

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Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

Has your mind completely turned to mush? What makes you think you could pull that off? I’m 6’9”, 249lbs., and regularly practice a variety of martial arts including kendo, judo, tae kwon do, Muay Thai, and drunken fist.

I live. I die. I live again.

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Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

So? I have skills.

I live. I die. I live again.

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Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

The only thing that’s fat about me is my dick. Step off, bitch. I’ll put you six feet under faster than you can have a meltdown over not being allowed on Gameboy’s forum.

I live. I die. I live again.

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

Just out of curiosity, what is the girth? Asking for a friend.

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

I said to PM him the question!!!

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

I'm sorry :3

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

Oops, I mean my friend asked me to ask you to PM him.

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

The thot awakens 😂

Gone

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

Wot??? said... The thot awakens 😂
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I was asking for Crystal's friend

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

! !deleted! ! said... I was asking for Crystal's friend
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I was asking for Crystal's friend

😂

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

8 inches.

Mephistopheles is just beneath and he's reaching up to grab me.

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

😳 @crystalraindrops

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Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

Monicah🦋 said... Bitch gtfo
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Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

I think he might be exaggerating. What do you think?

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Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

CrystalBunnyhops said... I think he might be exaggerating. What do you think?
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I reckon so. Nobody here is that big.

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

More like 8 mm

Gone

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

Someone is jealous

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

Kirk, literally not a single person here wants to see your dick.

Mephistopheles is just beneath and he's reaching up to grab me.

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

Rocketman said... Kirk, literally not a single person here wants to see your dick.
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!

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

Rocketman said... Kirk, literally not a single person here wants to see your dick.
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😂😂

Gone

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

Wot??? said... 😂😂
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I don't get what possesses you to want to put a dick pic as your avatar, but you must know that it's disgusting, my dude. Control yourself.

Mephistopheles is just beneath and he's reaching up to grab me.

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Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

I was asking for a friend. My heart is already taken 😌

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Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

You're not Lum Invader, you trashy skank. Get the fuck out of my face before I beat you to death with a hairdryer.

Mephistopheles is just beneath and he's reaching up to grab me.

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Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

Have you ever electrocuted your clit?

Gone

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

Do it in epitaph form:

Monicah noticed Rocket's chest was chiseled
But that was after her hairdryer made him sizzle

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Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

How come no one talks about baseball?

French/Métis/Scottish

Re: NFL Predictions: Week 5: Rocket-Man Edition: Part II

Because everyone here is a boring cunt and only into basketball and/or football.

Mephistopheles is just beneath and he's reaching up to grab me.
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