Monsters : Just got back from Godzilla: King of the Monsters, spoiler review

Just got back from Godzilla: King of the Monsters, spoiler review

brb



There is no forum for this btw, Nimda ( you cunt )


If you were looking forward to the monster fights then you wont be dissapointed. But the rest of the film is just gay and confusing.


Ok so they have somehow built a machine that can talk to the titans ( that there are now 17 of fyi, and counting ) and the female lead and 11 from stranger things use it to wake up Mothra who then goes to grow some wings as atm she is just some giant gross bugg. Then Charles Dance, who is the human dick in this film, kidknapps the female lead and 11 and use the machine to wake up King Ghodira and Rodan. KG and Rodan fight with KG winning, pretty much making Rodan its bitch.

Some more shit happens with the humans but it was boring as fuck so i dont remember, but they pretty much nuke KG and Godzilla while they fight, this dont effect KG but pretty much kills Godzilla, BUT NO! Godzilla has actually gone to like Atlantis or something to recharge. Dr Kurazawa decides to speed it up a bit by again nuking Godzilla ( dafuq? ) and actually manually plants a nuke next to Godzilla, he calls godzilla a ' piece of shit ' in Japanese before the nuke goes off. Godzilla is now stronger than ever and Mr Wu Tang is dead, no more monsterverse for him.

Oh did i mention that Godzilla killed the male leads son in 2014? because Godzilla killed the male leads son in 2014 and the male lead hates him for it.


Ghidora then wakes up a few more titans from around the world, including a giant spider and a giant mammoth, the look fuckinh cool but we dont see much of them.

It turns out the female lead is actually working WITH Charles Dance, and they both want to wake up all the titans because ' humans are dicks ' pretty much, but female lead comes to her senses.


the final act is a now juiced Godzilla fighting KG in washington DC. Mothra, now with wings, swoops in to help but is waylaid but Rodan.


Female lead dies while distracting kg with that machine and godzilla uses hyper beam or something.



at this point, i went for a piss and then never went back to the film as i knew it was ending, so i will describe the piss instead.


I walked into the toilet and made eye contact with every guy in there aside from the one black guy. I then unzipped my zipper and pulled out a godzilla of my own. The piss was long and it dribbled a bit as i put it away. I then walked out and washed my hands.





The only thing good in this film was the monster fights, evrything else is just exposition, cliches ect. I would not be so bad if the reason all these titans started walking round wasnt so forced. 6/10

The 4 stages of a good dump = 😣😣😫😜

Re: Just got back from Godzilla: King of the Monsters, spoiler review

Sounds kinda boring.




Schrodinger's Cat walks into a bar, and doesn't. 😼

Re: Just got back from Godzilla: King of the Monsters, spoiler review

So basically, you loved it.

Re: Just got back from Godzilla: King of the Monsters, spoiler review

I thoroughly enjoyed this film. Lots of spectacular monster fights, the beasts looked terrific, the human drama stuff was handled pretty well for a change, and the story hurtled along at a breathless brisk pace despite the rather bloated two plus hour running time.

You've seen Guy Standeven in something since the man was in everything.

Re: Just got back from Godzilla: King of the Monsters, spoiler review

The movie is over 2 hours long?! I dunno if I wanna sit through that despite your rave review. I'm going to have to think about it real hard.

Re: Just got back from Godzilla: King of the Monsters, spoiler review

Two hours and eleven minutes altogether, but the quick pace rarely let up for a minute. Plus the monster fights really deliver the goods. I absolutely loved seeing Godzilla, Mothra, Rodan, and King Ghidorah all together again mixing it up.

You've seen Guy Standeven in something since the man was in everything.
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