American Beauty : After watching "American Beauty," I'm never getting married.

After watching "American Beauty," I'm never getting married.

I don't want to end up like Lester. Single life is preferable over being married to someone who disrespects you. Carolyn is every man's nightmare and a sorry excuse for a human being. I'd crack too if I was married to someone like that.

Re: After watching "American Beauty," I'm never getting married.

Here is my post from just a second ago on another thread but let me say some things I hope may be a tiny bit helpful:

1.) How old are you? Are your parents married? Have you seen any happy marriages in people you know well personally?

I recently got divorced after 20 years of marriage and I still am seeking to get back with my ex. However, if I don't I also feel like I have learned a lot and am glad for the time I had with her. She had problems that she didn't tell me about and I guess that was true for me too. I now know what I did wrong and what she did wrong - if she gave us another chance, I know we'd have a great marriage (because in many ways we did before too).

Marriage can still work very very well, but young folks have to just be a heck of a lot smarter than they did before but the good news also is that there is tons of help out there for young couples. Even in the past 20 years there is counseling, blogs, support groups, etc. etc.

I now live in a house I rent out to 4 other single guys. I got married when I was essentially 18 and I never got a chance to grow up. So now I"m sort of pathetic, living like I'm in my 20s when I'm absolutely not. However, I don't get pumped at he gym, get new tattoos, wear Abercrombie or Tommy H - I still act like a 42 year old who is also learning new things about the colorful world I live in. I'm getting past some of the things I didn't have when I was younger without doing the sleepy things guys their 20s often do. I'm having fun and in the end, as bad as divorce is, my kids will have a healthier father and if my ex remarries me great - if not, I'll marry someone else and treat her with all the love and respect I tried to show my ex.

Why are you afraid you'd end up like Lester?

Well, I turn 42 (same age as Lester) in a couple of months and at the time the film came out I was what 26? Well at 26 I was blown away by the movie because I could see how true it was. However, back then I was still happily married and back then I didn't see Carolyn at all in my wife (Or Styler from Breaking Bad).

The main character is a person caught in the currents of history. Men were not made to be broken and flabby working at desks (but we can't all be construction workers addicted to pain killers or the Marlboro man dying of cancer now can we?)

Lester was probably given the name Lester because it's like Hustler's character "Chester the Molester" but Lester is not a perv, he is just a regular guy having a hard time in life. Scientists are now proving that people go through various developmental periods - they now say (1) Adolescence (2) teens and 20s (3) 40s and (4) 70s where they grow and change.

Lester just is going through a self-reflective period that Carl Jung saw in his patients but he doesn't have anyone to help him figure it out so he struggles, but in the end he makes the right decision.

What hump?

Re: After watching "American Beauty," I'm never getting married.

(4) 70s where they grow and change.


I could spend hours answering your post but at 71 I have just too many things to do so I'll just say my name here says I was exactly the same as Lester at 42 after the same 20 years married and then divorced BUT I got through that period 25 years ago, steered clear of queers with issues out to kill me and also steered clear of scheming women [of all ages].

You too can RISE again - are you in America though?

Re: After watching 'American Beauty,' I'm never getting married.

I agree with phoneixandrew.

Post deleted

This message has been deleted.

Re: After watching "American Beauty," I'm never getting married.

That said, with each passing generation, more and more embrace the notion that a single lifestyle is not a curse. Research/google marriage trends in the new millennium, you will find the single lifestyle is becoming just as desirable as a married lifestyle.


But that has always been since Adam got done over by Eve "behind the Gates of Eden" as Dylan sings.

AB alludes to that where Lester thinks back to his cousin with the flashy car INSTEAD of a family but in the end [man o man] he does not regret the decision he made to marry.

He has a long happy life ahead of him but the punch line is he is killed by the All-American closet generated poofter so is killed by the very Political Correctness [lingering McCarthyism] that took him so long to escape

Re: After watching 'American Beauty,' I'm never getting married.

Get married, don't have kids. Kids *beep* everything up.

Re: After watching "American Beauty," I'm never getting married.

The problem here is not that Lester got married, its that he is a boring guy who got married to Carolyn. The combination of their personalities is what lead to his boring, shallow, superficial life.

Staying single won't save you from this type of lifestyle and getting married won't doom you to it. Plenty of people have good marriages that are nothing like this. Plenty of single guys go through similar midlife crisises as Lester did.