Speechless : I really like this show, but….
Re: I really like this show, but….
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Exactly what I was thinking.
The aide and the disabled kid are awesome, even the parents are pretty decent, but what the heck is the "we are idiot neighbors" thing??
Maybe just a gimmick??
The aide and the disabled kid are awesome, even the parents are pretty decent, but what the heck is the "we are idiot neighbors" thing??
Maybe just a gimmick??
Re: I really like this show, but….
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Yeah it's kind of odd, but the Dad sort of pulls it off. But then maybe that's because
I like John R Bowie.
Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.
I like John R Bowie.
Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.
Re: I really like this show, but….
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I've loved everything about the show up to that point. Maybe if I could understand WTF they were up to. I love the actor, but I really hope the focus of him isn't going to be on being 'an idiot'.
Re: I really like this show, but….
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Think of it as a protective shield. If the family don't have to become too friendly with their neighbors, they won't have to face all kinds of stupid questions, weird looks, ignorance and/or misguided "kindness" (like the applause scene in the first episode), and so forth. They just want to be left alone, and be a family without anyone butting in, because they've already dealt with all the ignorance, prejudice, discrimination and so forth that's out there for 16 years.
Until soceity learns more about treating the disabled community with respect, equality, and interact with them as the human beings they are, this family would rather just keep a distance.
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Until soceity learns more about treating the disabled community with respect, equality, and interact with them as the human beings they are, this family would rather just keep a distance.
Follow me on Twitter! www.twitter.com/OJTheViking
Re: I really like this show, but….
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But weren't the neighbors trying to interact with them like human beings? I didn't see anyone being intolerant, rude, patronizing, etc. Ok, you can try to justify their behavior with a cry-me-a-river backstory, but it seems like the only people trying to stereotype & be intolerant was the family themselves.
Hopefully the writers don't make this mistake again. This show could be amazing if they find the right tone.
Hopefully the writers don't make this mistake again. This show could be amazing if they find the right tone.
Re: I really like this show, but….
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But weren't the neighbors trying to interact with them like human beings? I didn't see anyone being intolerant, rude, patronizing, etc.
The point is, they wanted to establish a distance BEFORE the intolerance, rudeness, patronizing etc. began. Their backstory is that they've been through that a dozen times before, with all the moving back and forth. It's not a cry-me-a-river backstory; this is the way things are in society whether you realize it or not.
Hopefully the writers don't make this mistake again.
Nothing was a mistake. It's the choice this family has made, to keep a distance. I'm sure there are other families out there with members with disabilities, who wish they had the balls to do something similar, just to get the majority of this ignorant society out of their hair.
This show could be amazing if they find the right tone.
The tone is a great one. You just need to hone in on it. This show does what one wants done in society: it's universally designed, accessible to those who have personal experiences with disabilities, and waits for the rest of society to start keeping up and seeing the big picture.
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Re: I really like this show, but….
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I understand that this is your opinion, but it seems very flawed IMO.
How do you defeat ignorance? Most commonly through education, outreach, & personal experience.
So in your experience, the majority of the public is ignorant of the stress and struggles of the disabled (and families) community. That's probably true.
So what would be a great way to eliminate society's ignorance? How about using your social circle ( sphere of influence) to educate people. How about bringing to attention the struggles your family faces everyday to the teachers, principal, & school board. How about instead of ranting and raving like a total b*tch, you work with others for the benefit of your child and the disabled community these people might encounter in the future.
Yes, yes, I know. That's unfair, annoying, and time consuming. You are busy taking care of your family. Why should you have to take on this extra responsibility?
Well, you don't have to. You can blame everyone for being ignorant. Or you can do the hard thing, and see this as an opportunity to teach others. It sucks, it really does, but everyone who has ever wanted more rights, more equality, more understanding, has had to do that. African Americans, Women, Homosexuals, etc have all had to do that. Was that fair to them that they had to spend time and energy fighting the status quo? No, but life is not fair.
I would love to see the day where everyone is treated fairly and equally. I hate that I might offend someone who has a different life experience than me because I don't know their struggles. But it will never change unless someone changes it.
All that aside, I stand by my original statements. The tone of this show is off IMO, because instead of making people feel empathetic to the mom, most people see the character as b*tchy and annoying. I hope they do soften the mom, and let her trust others to help, instead of assuming everyone is evil and mean and stupid. I think the writers are making a mistake though, because I think people will tune in the first episodes, be annoyed by the mom's behavior, and never watch again. Again, just my opinion.
How do you defeat ignorance? Most commonly through education, outreach, & personal experience.
So in your experience, the majority of the public is ignorant of the stress and struggles of the disabled (and families) community. That's probably true.
So what would be a great way to eliminate society's ignorance? How about using your social circle ( sphere of influence) to educate people. How about bringing to attention the struggles your family faces everyday to the teachers, principal, & school board. How about instead of ranting and raving like a total b*tch, you work with others for the benefit of your child and the disabled community these people might encounter in the future.
Yes, yes, I know. That's unfair, annoying, and time consuming. You are busy taking care of your family. Why should you have to take on this extra responsibility?
Well, you don't have to. You can blame everyone for being ignorant. Or you can do the hard thing, and see this as an opportunity to teach others. It sucks, it really does, but everyone who has ever wanted more rights, more equality, more understanding, has had to do that. African Americans, Women, Homosexuals, etc have all had to do that. Was that fair to them that they had to spend time and energy fighting the status quo? No, but life is not fair.
I would love to see the day where everyone is treated fairly and equally. I hate that I might offend someone who has a different life experience than me because I don't know their struggles. But it will never change unless someone changes it.
All that aside, I stand by my original statements. The tone of this show is off IMO, because instead of making people feel empathetic to the mom, most people see the character as b*tchy and annoying. I hope they do soften the mom, and let her trust others to help, instead of assuming everyone is evil and mean and stupid. I think the writers are making a mistake though, because I think people will tune in the first episodes, be annoyed by the mom's behavior, and never watch again. Again, just my opinion.
Re: I really like this show, but….
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Kingsley, excellent points.
Also, I dont care for people who embrace being in the perpetual victim role, in t-v or in real life. There are parents who have kids were cancer, which is much more difficult to deal with than a kid with CP, also parents with kids who have autism and are very violent, also more stressful. There are parents with kids who have tried to commit suicide and who worry about them ending their lives every day. The solution is not to advocate that all these parents behave in a rude and inconsiderate way to others because of their hardships. Is that the kind of world we seriously want to live in?
Also, I dont care for people who embrace being in the perpetual victim role, in t-v or in real life. There are parents who have kids were cancer, which is much more difficult to deal with than a kid with CP, also parents with kids who have autism and are very violent, also more stressful. There are parents with kids who have tried to commit suicide and who worry about them ending their lives every day. The solution is not to advocate that all these parents behave in a rude and inconsiderate way to others because of their hardships. Is that the kind of world we seriously want to live in?
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Re: I really like this show, but….
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There are parents who have kids were cancer, which is much more difficult to deal with than a kid with CP
How can you even make a comparison like that. Both are very difficult to deal with in their own way, you can't say one is harder than the other.
I live with a disabled brother, I have never lived with someone with cancer, so I can't make this comparison, I don't know if you've had the experience with both of them, but it sounds like you don't (Maybe you have, but then I'm curious to know how you would come to a statement like that.)
Like I said, it's impossible to compare them and say which one is more difficult, so I won't do that. But what I can tell you is that living with someone with a disability can be DAMN hard.
Re: I really like this show, but….
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As someone who takes care of a disabled person for over 12 years (the person has Multiple Sclerosis and fully uses a wheelchair), I totally agree.
~Memories made in the coldest winter~
Re: I really like this show, but….
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kingsleysgirl45:
Do you realise how much time goes into taking care of someone with any kind of disability? Specifically, in this case cerebral palsy? At this point, we have the goddamned internet at our disposal. Not everyone has the time/energy to expend to teach others. Some do, they are godsends to those who don't. And people are *STILL* willfully ignorant on African Americans, Women, Homosexuals, Religions that aren't Christianity/Catholicism, etc. We have all these resources at our fingertips that people get linked to that either get dismissed because "anecdotal" because heaven forbid someone is writing their experiences or because it's not a scientifically studied research that has been peer reviewed x amount of times and (other impossibly high standards) or just dismiss because "my religion says otherwise" (when really their religion says don't be a dick and they're being a dick). So no, education is *NOT* the responsibility of those who deal with things day in and day out.
Less stigma. Less showing of disabled people as inspirational. More people using the wonderful resource known as the internet to research things. I know in America, to graduate high school I had to demonstrate basic reading competency repeatedly throughout 12 years of education that was appropriate for around my age group/grade and that I could demonstrate reading comprehension skills for at least the last 4 years of my required education. I know not everyone has that luxury as some have to drop out and get jobs to help pay rent/buy groceries/etc because America's *beep* up. But most of middle class and upper class America has that ability at least. Also, learning to treat people with basic *beep* decency and respect regardless of their situation (which, coincidentally, also requires some empathy). Speaking *TO* disabled people instead of through them or to people around/with them is rude and telling them they're not human enough to be deserving of respect.
Because bitches get *beep* done.And if you are female you're automatically seen as a bitch in America. And the ADA is *beep* as far as what it considers as compliance sometimes. *beep* in that, it requires ramps but it doesn't consider other disabilities such as ASL interpreters. Or assistance for seeing impaired. Or bathroom areas for service animals (like a patch of grass or something outside). Or that animals other than dogs can be service animals. And also, it wears on you. Especially when you have to harp on the same things over and over. This isn't the first time she's had to talk with someone about x issue it won't be the last. And she's probably tired of it by now. Seriously though, ADA compliance is a *beep* joke.
Well, you don't have to. You can blame everyone for being ignorant. Or you can do the hard thing, and see this as an opportunity to teach others. It sucks, it really does, but everyone who has ever wanted more rights, more equality, more understanding, has had to do that. African Americans, Women, Homosexuals, etc have all had to do that. Was that fair to them that they had to spend time and energy fighting the status quo? No, but life is not fair.
Do you realise how much time goes into taking care of someone with any kind of disability? Specifically, in this case cerebral palsy? At this point, we have the goddamned internet at our disposal. Not everyone has the time/energy to expend to teach others. Some do, they are godsends to those who don't. And people are *STILL* willfully ignorant on African Americans, Women, Homosexuals, Religions that aren't Christianity/Catholicism, etc. We have all these resources at our fingertips that people get linked to that either get dismissed because "anecdotal" because heaven forbid someone is writing their experiences or because it's not a scientifically studied research that has been peer reviewed x amount of times and (other impossibly high standards) or just dismiss because "my religion says otherwise" (when really their religion says don't be a dick and they're being a dick). So no, education is *NOT* the responsibility of those who deal with things day in and day out.
So what would be a great way to eliminate society's ignorance?
Less stigma. Less showing of disabled people as inspirational. More people using the wonderful resource known as the internet to research things. I know in America, to graduate high school I had to demonstrate basic reading competency repeatedly throughout 12 years of education that was appropriate for around my age group/grade and that I could demonstrate reading comprehension skills for at least the last 4 years of my required education. I know not everyone has that luxury as some have to drop out and get jobs to help pay rent/buy groceries/etc because America's *beep* up. But most of middle class and upper class America has that ability at least. Also, learning to treat people with basic *beep* decency and respect regardless of their situation (which, coincidentally, also requires some empathy). Speaking *TO* disabled people instead of through them or to people around/with them is rude and telling them they're not human enough to be deserving of respect.
How about instead of ranting and raving like a total b*tch, you work with others for the benefit of your child and the disabled community these people might encounter in the future.
Because bitches get *beep* done.And if you are female you're automatically seen as a bitch in America. And the ADA is *beep* as far as what it considers as compliance sometimes. *beep* in that, it requires ramps but it doesn't consider other disabilities such as ASL interpreters. Or assistance for seeing impaired. Or bathroom areas for service animals (like a patch of grass or something outside). Or that animals other than dogs can be service animals. And also, it wears on you. Especially when you have to harp on the same things over and over. This isn't the first time she's had to talk with someone about x issue it won't be the last. And she's probably tired of it by now. Seriously though, ADA compliance is a *beep* joke.
Re: I really like this show, but….
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You are very ignorant of the realities of the disabled community. Several agencies have outreach programs, and I discussed the fact that several schools have ability awareness day, setting up tasks for able bodied students but taking away their full flexibility or strengthputting socks on their hands, taping fingers together, making them do an obstacle course in a wheel chair, etc. All of what you suggested is being done. I even know parents of children that have the same diagnosis as my daughter who have taken the time and money to print up business cards with web sites for more in-depth information, and a short resume of the chromosomal defect.
And not much of this helps. And considering you are happily unaware that any of this is happening is just weird. Perhaps you don't have school age children, or your Park and Rec doesn't offer a disabled dance every month and invites everyone, abled and disabled to mingle and dance, or maybe you've just never searched out a way to get involved. Maybe your church is loving and inclusive like ours was and they ask people not to bring their disabled child because they are disruptive, so you've never even *seen* and interacted with this community.
Do you take the time to educate yourself? It is one thing to tell others what to do, but are you part of the problem or the solution?
The mom is a caricature of a stressed mom, but she has been learning. It took 16 years to get this messed up, it may take a few seasons until she can be a more reasonable advocate for her child. But she will never not be an advocate for her child.
And there will always be a disabled community, whether they are visible or not.
_________
No, David. No one is happy in a poodle skirt and a sweater set.
And not much of this helps. And considering you are happily unaware that any of this is happening is just weird. Perhaps you don't have school age children, or your Park and Rec doesn't offer a disabled dance every month and invites everyone, abled and disabled to mingle and dance, or maybe you've just never searched out a way to get involved. Maybe your church is loving and inclusive like ours was and they ask people not to bring their disabled child because they are disruptive, so you've never even *seen* and interacted with this community.
Do you take the time to educate yourself? It is one thing to tell others what to do, but are you part of the problem or the solution?
The mom is a caricature of a stressed mom, but she has been learning. It took 16 years to get this messed up, it may take a few seasons until she can be a more reasonable advocate for her child. But she will never not be an advocate for her child.
And there will always be a disabled community, whether they are visible or not.
_________
No, David. No one is happy in a poodle skirt and a sweater set.
Re: I really like this show, but….
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Readerf61, I assume you're responding to my post? If not, feel free to ignore it.
I don't know why you think I'm ignorant on disability/special needs outreach. In fact, my post was actually saying it is a good thing that should be done. My point I was trying to make isthe mom (so far) has done like zero outreach to anyone, and then flies off the handle that people/society don't act the way she thinks they should. I understand she's probably frustrated and exhausted because she's had to explain a million times, and fought with schools many times. But, the reality is that people/society are ignorant about ways to accommodate special needs people. So she can either be productive and help educate people, or she can be mad that society is ignorant. I'm not saying it's fair; I'm just saying that's reality as the world is today.
Next, I'm a little surprised that you have such a harsh opinion of me, when I've never said most of the things you're implying. When did I say I was happily unaware? When did I ever say I tried to isolate myself from disabled people? And when I said people should be educated about these issues, where did I imply that I was excluding myself from this learning?
My mom is a special Ed elementary teacher, so I grew up learning a bit about disabilities, but I'm (obviously) not going to say I'm an expert on the subject. I've participated in those activities you're talking about, where you have to do things with no sight or hearing, or walking on crutches, or using a wheelchair, etc. I have helped with special olympics many times, so I definitely know that disabled people exist. There's even a few people in my Sunday school class that have some sort of disability (uses a wheelchair, therapy dog, autism). I think these programs are excellent ways to help build empathy and understanding.
In college, I had a friendly acquaintance who was blind and had a seeing eye dog. She lived on my dorm floor, and I had several classes with her, so we hung out some, but we were not best friends. Now, when she first moved in, people wanted to treat her dog like a pet, and pat and play with the dog. But she politely informed people the rules, and I'd say most people were happy to be taught the correct way to interact with her and her dog. I personally saw her get up in different classes or situations and quickly explain. There was even an article in the school paper about her and her dog, and about the training the dog had. Now, she could of not explained, and been mad that people already didn't know what they should do. But instead, she educated people, and people were able to do the right thing. Was that fair to her? No, but that's just the reality of the situation. That's all I'm saying.
Finally, I feel like I do take time to educate myself, but that doesn't mean I'm perfect, or I know about every disability possible. That's one of the reasons I'm somewhat enjoying the show, because I am learning about JJ's disability. I admit, I have never encountered someone using a laser pointer to communicate, but I have been around people who use a language board before.
I'll just end with: Both sides need to have more tolerance and patience. The general population should be educated more on disabilities, and the disabled community should try to remember that most people don't want to make your life harder, stigmatized, isolated. Or maybe I'm just speaking for myself.
I don't know why you think I'm ignorant on disability/special needs outreach. In fact, my post was actually saying it is a good thing that should be done. My point I was trying to make isthe mom (so far) has done like zero outreach to anyone, and then flies off the handle that people/society don't act the way she thinks they should. I understand she's probably frustrated and exhausted because she's had to explain a million times, and fought with schools many times. But, the reality is that people/society are ignorant about ways to accommodate special needs people. So she can either be productive and help educate people, or she can be mad that society is ignorant. I'm not saying it's fair; I'm just saying that's reality as the world is today.
Next, I'm a little surprised that you have such a harsh opinion of me, when I've never said most of the things you're implying. When did I say I was happily unaware? When did I ever say I tried to isolate myself from disabled people? And when I said people should be educated about these issues, where did I imply that I was excluding myself from this learning?
My mom is a special Ed elementary teacher, so I grew up learning a bit about disabilities, but I'm (obviously) not going to say I'm an expert on the subject. I've participated in those activities you're talking about, where you have to do things with no sight or hearing, or walking on crutches, or using a wheelchair, etc. I have helped with special olympics many times, so I definitely know that disabled people exist. There's even a few people in my Sunday school class that have some sort of disability (uses a wheelchair, therapy dog, autism). I think these programs are excellent ways to help build empathy and understanding.
In college, I had a friendly acquaintance who was blind and had a seeing eye dog. She lived on my dorm floor, and I had several classes with her, so we hung out some, but we were not best friends. Now, when she first moved in, people wanted to treat her dog like a pet, and pat and play with the dog. But she politely informed people the rules, and I'd say most people were happy to be taught the correct way to interact with her and her dog. I personally saw her get up in different classes or situations and quickly explain. There was even an article in the school paper about her and her dog, and about the training the dog had. Now, she could of not explained, and been mad that people already didn't know what they should do. But instead, she educated people, and people were able to do the right thing. Was that fair to her? No, but that's just the reality of the situation. That's all I'm saying.
Finally, I feel like I do take time to educate myself, but that doesn't mean I'm perfect, or I know about every disability possible. That's one of the reasons I'm somewhat enjoying the show, because I am learning about JJ's disability. I admit, I have never encountered someone using a laser pointer to communicate, but I have been around people who use a language board before.
I'll just end with: Both sides need to have more tolerance and patience. The general population should be educated more on disabilities, and the disabled community should try to remember that most people don't want to make your life harder, stigmatized, isolated. Or maybe I'm just speaking for myself.
Re: I really like this show, but….
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I won't make excuses for jumping to some conclusions, but you made it sound like people involved in the disabled community have done nothing to fight for their rights. You discussed other groups that have had to overcome being treated like second class citizens, and noted that they had to *do* something to get the respect and rights they have obtained. As though the disabled community expected results without the work involved to get that. That just seemed a statement built on not knowing, not understandingin other words ignorance. I'm sorry, that word seems to have a lot of negative connotation, but if one doesn't know, what do you say?
And you have explained that you do have experience with this subject. I get that your statement was not generalyou said, and I'm not quoting, so I may have misinterpreted your words, that you understand parents are tired and busy with families, but how do we expect to change the world if we don't do something about it? And I can see that you were, more or less, talking about Maya. She has a lot of energy, if she put just a little of it into trying to help the world understand instead of constantly fighting it, all of the DiMeo family would benefit. And that makes sense.
I can only hope that as the show progresses, Maya will shed some of her anger and frustration with the world, and start to find some peace in it. I can *understand* her anger frustration with the world; I share only a small portion of it.
It's like I said to another poster, you'll find all these different levels on a Bell curve. Maya is the extreme. I suspect she was meant to be extreme for people to "get" it. I think that insults the intelligence of some of the audience, those that already know and understand her predicament. And it is driving away another part of the audience, and some of those are the very people we need to try to educate.
I don't have an answer for that, other than to say it is a tv show, and as such, it is meant to be entertainment. People in crisis are supposedly more entertaining than people who are living their lives comfortably, dealing with the day to day normally and, well, boringly. Maya could still be a dynamic and funny woman without the dramaespecially since she is the one who creates the drama out of normal, every day life. But would there be a show without that?
_________
No, David. No one is happy in a poodle skirt and a sweater set.
And you have explained that you do have experience with this subject. I get that your statement was not generalyou said, and I'm not quoting, so I may have misinterpreted your words, that you understand parents are tired and busy with families, but how do we expect to change the world if we don't do something about it? And I can see that you were, more or less, talking about Maya. She has a lot of energy, if she put just a little of it into trying to help the world understand instead of constantly fighting it, all of the DiMeo family would benefit. And that makes sense.
I can only hope that as the show progresses, Maya will shed some of her anger and frustration with the world, and start to find some peace in it. I can *understand* her anger frustration with the world; I share only a small portion of it.
It's like I said to another poster, you'll find all these different levels on a Bell curve. Maya is the extreme. I suspect she was meant to be extreme for people to "get" it. I think that insults the intelligence of some of the audience, those that already know and understand her predicament. And it is driving away another part of the audience, and some of those are the very people we need to try to educate.
I don't have an answer for that, other than to say it is a tv show, and as such, it is meant to be entertainment. People in crisis are supposedly more entertaining than people who are living their lives comfortably, dealing with the day to day normally and, well, boringly. Maya could still be a dynamic and funny woman without the dramaespecially since she is the one who creates the drama out of normal, every day life. But would there be a show without that?
_________
No, David. No one is happy in a poodle skirt and a sweater set.
Re: I really like this show, but….
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That is my hope for the show also. I really like JJ and Kenneth's relationship because it is warm and real. The writers do a great job of writing situations for them that are funny, but also educate people about JJ's struggles. But then I think the Mom or Dad, and sometimes the siblings, just do something that is so irrational and annoying, that you almost can't root for them anymore.
But I do agree that Maya is becoming a bit more calmer, and therefore, more likable each week, which I think is great. To me, her overreaction is the only negative about this show.
But I do agree that Maya is becoming a bit more calmer, and therefore, more likable each week, which I think is great. To me, her overreaction is the only negative about this show.
Re: I really like this show, but….
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I agree its a little too far but I think oj you are right. I get so tired of being asked cockeyed questions and told about the benefits of veganism
Re: I really like this show, but….
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Haha, just tell them about the benefits of a nice, juicy cheeseburger with bacon and wish them a good day!
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Re: I really like this show, but….
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Indeed! Thank you my friend. I try to keep a sense of humor, it just gets to me sometimes to be questioned in a manner taught in north Korean labor camps, by very sheltered folks.
Re: I really like this show, but….
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A sense of humor is necessary in many situations - more than one would assume. "If you can't laugh, you'll cry" indeed.
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Re: I really like this show, but….
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of course People want to know "are you people allowed out?' I get very sarcastic I'm sorry boss I don't know what time it is.
Re: I really like this show, but….
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It was the daughter that pulled the prank the dad was just trying to fix the situation.
They don't want to be friends with the neighbors because they don't want to get attached. Look at their track record of moving around - part of the whole "we're not taking out the trash or doing yard work" thing is because they don't want to set down roots.
The dad was trying to teach the daughter to be unmemorable, not mean spirited.
They don't want to be friends with the neighbors because they don't want to get attached. Look at their track record of moving around - part of the whole "we're not taking out the trash or doing yard work" thing is because they don't want to set down roots.
The dad was trying to teach the daughter to be unmemorable, not mean spirited.
So now they're hoarders?
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Just when you think this show couldn't get any worse, the dad is now a hoarder and the old house was packed with crap they picked out of the garbage. The mother's excuse is they have challenges other families don't. IRL, all the kids would have been removed by CPS and placed in foster care. JJ and the aide are funny. You feel sorry for the other two kids because of the way the parents treat them but the parents are just horrible.
Re: So now they're hoarders?
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Oh the love god! First off all did you heard, a man's trash is another man's treasure? They are not hoarders and yes the parents are a little brain scattered but they are bad parentsRay is just at age that he wishes that his family would fit the mold that's all.
Re: So now they're hoarders?
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Nope, they are hoarders. Did you see the old house? Straight out of Hoarders. I worked for CPS for over 20 years. I've removed disabled kids from houses like that. Its not cute, nor funny.
So by your definition..
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A family that can't afford new stuff, are middle class that have to deprive themselves of things so JJ can receive his benefits automatically makes them hoarders and bad people? Get off your high horse lady! FYI MY house looked like that every time we've moved, we collect other's stuff, have CP since birth (I'm 28 soon 29)and the eldest of four we were never mistreated or anything of the sort. But by your definition it seems my parents are badGREAT! You know, people with your mind set are what give CPS and other institutions that are supposed to help a bad repthink about it.
Re: So by your definition..
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Did you actually watch the show? The house was piled so high with stuff they were using JJ's chair as a "snowplow" to move stuff. In the dialogue between the dad and the middle boy, the dad pretty much admits he's a hoarder. He cleans up because the boy tells him how embarrassing it is to live like that and that he can't have friends over due to the condition of the home. IRL, that home would not have been safe for a wheelchair bound child.
BTW, SSI benefits aren't dependent on income.
I like the premise of the show. I like the kids and the aide but the aide is the only decent adult on the show. The parents are completely unlikeable and the school principal is a wimpy idiot.
BTW, SSI benefits aren't dependent on income.
I like the premise of the show. I like the kids and the aide but the aide is the only decent adult on the show. The parents are completely unlikeable and the school principal is a wimpy idiot.
Re: So by your definition..
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I got the impression that they were moving, so they just threw most everything in one area and let each person go through and grab what they wanted, or it's trash. Exactly the way my dad used to clean the house. It made an enormous mess, but soon we learned to put things away in the first place so we didn't "lose" it forever in the second place.
Did you not see the house after dad made it more normal for his son? I loved that relationship; it was loving and responsive to that child's needs. So, not a typical hoarder's home. And as for picking up the stuff on the curbwho leaves the things they want to take to college on the road like that? That girl was just really silly.
SSI isn't dependent on income, but your child must be on a Katie Beckett waiver, or whatever it is called in your state, otherwise the person must wait until they are out of the home or an adult. JJ is 16. I doubt he has a waiver, the hoops one must jump through are astounding, and frankly, I don't think he is impacted to the point of being eligible.
Parents with a child who have special needs are a bit overwhelmed. It's not the overall excuse for everything that these parentlight heartedlymake it, but it is physically and emotionally draining, and support for these parents are few and far between. So you meet these problems by removing the child from the home. Wow, good for you.
I remember talking to a woman whose family came to visit from the thousands of miles away that they lived, and they made reservations at a hotelfor her! They stayed with her son who needed 24/7 observation and care, and she got some sleep. For weeks after that, she would get a dreamy look on her face and talk about that weekend when she got some sleep.
That is the existence of some families with a special needs child. I hope you offer assistance and in-home care before you talk about taking away their child. Maybe they just need a good night's sleep..
Did you not see the house after dad made it more normal for his son? I loved that relationship; it was loving and responsive to that child's needs. So, not a typical hoarder's home. And as for picking up the stuff on the curbwho leaves the things they want to take to college on the road like that? That girl was just really silly.
SSI isn't dependent on income, but your child must be on a Katie Beckett waiver, or whatever it is called in your state, otherwise the person must wait until they are out of the home or an adult. JJ is 16. I doubt he has a waiver, the hoops one must jump through are astounding, and frankly, I don't think he is impacted to the point of being eligible.
Parents with a child who have special needs are a bit overwhelmed. It's not the overall excuse for everything that these parentlight heartedlymake it, but it is physically and emotionally draining, and support for these parents are few and far between. So you meet these problems by removing the child from the home. Wow, good for you.
I remember talking to a woman whose family came to visit from the thousands of miles away that they lived, and they made reservations at a hotelfor her! They stayed with her son who needed 24/7 observation and care, and she got some sleep. For weeks after that, she would get a dreamy look on her face and talk about that weekend when she got some sleep.
That is the existence of some families with a special needs child. I hope you offer assistance and in-home care before you talk about taking away their child. Maybe they just need a good night's sleep..
Re: I really like this show, but….
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My problem with this show is that they (or at least the mother does) think having a family member with CP is an excuse to act like dickheads to everybody else, as if JJ's wheelchair protects them from being called out for being a-holes.
Furthermore, it's one thing to be cheapskates because JJ's needs require it, but do the parents even have jobs?
Furthermore, it's one thing to be cheapskates because JJ's needs require it, but do the parents even have jobs?
Re: I really like this show, but….
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Because taking care of a special needs child isn't a full-time job in itself? The show has done a pretty good job of touching on how many other aspects there are to caring for a disabled family member outside of their immediate personal care. There's dealing with equipmentespecially when it breaks down, with insurance, with the people involved in any aspect of that care, with accessibility, with financing (funding often comes from multiple sources each with their own requirements and paperwork), with their medical caresuch as prescriptions and doctor's appointments, etc. etc. That's a full-time job in itself. The show has been pretty accurate in demonstrating how the care of a disabled family member easily becomes the entire focus for that familyand they don't need to be an over-protective mamma bear for it to be like that. That care, both immediate,economic and over-arching requires constant awarenessit can't help but affect everyone.6
Being poor by itself brings it's own time-consuming effects. They are lucky to have each other and JJ's aide. Without having each other a caregiver is constantly running on emptyand statistically more families break up with the birth of or diagnosis of a permanently significantly disabled child. Usually (statistically far more likely, though not always) it's the father that leaves, and the single mother then has to carry the full weight of that care aloneto the detriment of everyone in the family because one person can only do so much in a 24 hour day. They aren't being lazy by not working outside the home, they are being responsiblethough I can't recall if the show has ever clarified their income status at all.
In addition, too many families have to choose between workingand making too much money to qualify for help (including equipment) but not enough to afford to pay for it themselves, or not working other than caring for the disabled family member thus staying low income enough to qualify for assistance. It's a peculiar thing that in our country a family that attempts to remain employed while dealing with the expenses and care of a disabled child can be worse off than a family that stays home to perform that care themselves. It's not a fair system, and you can hardly blame a family for making the more practical choiceespecially when you consider that the labor doesn't end simply because one or both parents go to work during the day. Still there's a reason the system is set up so that it's more financially feasible and practical to stay home rather than remain employedit's in fact cheaper for family members to care for a disabled family member directly than for the government or insurance to pay for full time caregivers (let alone institutional placement which is even costlier). Many states don't even pay family members for that care, making it even cheaper for them to encourage those family members to remain unemployed outside the homebut much harder on the families financially.
Many paid insurance programs have limited disability coverageand/or a lifetime cap on coverage. Most insurance plans of don't cover in home care at allor if you are lucky have a maximum time limit of say, 6 weeks. It's the rare and usually very costly plan that provides that kind of full coverage for a life long significantly disabling condition. These kinds of restrictions leave only one option family care andultimately, poverty. In fact even Medicare won't pay for in home care (and only very limited in home nursing care, which JJ doesn't evidently need) which is exactly why so many seniors are forced to spend down (or sign over) their assets in order to qualify for medicaid instead (new rules have somewhat eased that burden). It's not a good system and it's desperately in need of an overhaul. So, when you consider all of the factor it is actually far more realistic (and practical) for the parents to remain unemployed than for one or both to be working outside the home.
Being poor by itself brings it's own time-consuming effects. They are lucky to have each other and JJ's aide. Without having each other a caregiver is constantly running on emptyand statistically more families break up with the birth of or diagnosis of a permanently significantly disabled child. Usually (statistically far more likely, though not always) it's the father that leaves, and the single mother then has to carry the full weight of that care aloneto the detriment of everyone in the family because one person can only do so much in a 24 hour day. They aren't being lazy by not working outside the home, they are being responsiblethough I can't recall if the show has ever clarified their income status at all.
In addition, too many families have to choose between workingand making too much money to qualify for help (including equipment) but not enough to afford to pay for it themselves, or not working other than caring for the disabled family member thus staying low income enough to qualify for assistance. It's a peculiar thing that in our country a family that attempts to remain employed while dealing with the expenses and care of a disabled child can be worse off than a family that stays home to perform that care themselves. It's not a fair system, and you can hardly blame a family for making the more practical choiceespecially when you consider that the labor doesn't end simply because one or both parents go to work during the day. Still there's a reason the system is set up so that it's more financially feasible and practical to stay home rather than remain employedit's in fact cheaper for family members to care for a disabled family member directly than for the government or insurance to pay for full time caregivers (let alone institutional placement which is even costlier). Many states don't even pay family members for that care, making it even cheaper for them to encourage those family members to remain unemployed outside the homebut much harder on the families financially.
Many paid insurance programs have limited disability coverageand/or a lifetime cap on coverage. Most insurance plans of don't cover in home care at allor if you are lucky have a maximum time limit of say, 6 weeks. It's the rare and usually very costly plan that provides that kind of full coverage for a life long significantly disabling condition. These kinds of restrictions leave only one option family care andultimately, poverty. In fact even Medicare won't pay for in home care (and only very limited in home nursing care, which JJ doesn't evidently need) which is exactly why so many seniors are forced to spend down (or sign over) their assets in order to qualify for medicaid instead (new rules have somewhat eased that burden). It's not a good system and it's desperately in need of an overhaul. So, when you consider all of the factor it is actually far more realistic (and practical) for the parents to remain unemployed than for one or both to be working outside the home.
Re: I really like this show, but….
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Good post! Though I would like to mention that the dad on the show does work (in 1x6 "Date?"*, Jimmy is shown handling customer complaints at an airport baggage-service desk; and in the most recent episode, 1x12 "Hero," Maya even says he quit Graduate school to work full-time after JJ was born). I don't imagine it pays much, but I'm guessing his family health benefits are likely through his employer.
* ABC is supposed to re-air this one on 1/25:
http://www.broadwayworld.com/bwwtv/article/Scoop-SPEECHLESS-on-ABC-Wednesday-January-25-2017-20170113
"I know I'm not normal but I'm trying to change!" ~ Muriel's Wedding
* ABC is supposed to re-air this one on 1/25:
http://www.broadwayworld.com/bwwtv/article/Scoop-SPEECHLESS-on-ABC-Wednesday-January-25-2017-20170113
"I know I'm not normal but I'm trying to change!" ~ Muriel's Wedding
Re: I really like this show, but….
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You are correctI didn't catch that until one or two episodes agoafter I'd written this comment. Doesn't change the substance of my post regardless. I'm going to miss these boards.
Re: I really like this show, but….
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Ah.
Also, I don't if you already post at the Previously.TV forum for this show, but I recently joined and they seem like a pretty good group for discussing individual episodes and the actors, as well as real-life experiences related to issues the show brings up.
http://forums.previously.tv/forum/2572-speechless/
"I know I'm not normal but I'm trying to change!" ~ Muriel's Wedding
Also, I don't if you already post at the Previously.TV forum for this show, but I recently joined and they seem like a pretty good group for discussing individual episodes and the actors, as well as real-life experiences related to issues the show brings up.
http://forums.previously.tv/forum/2572-speechless/
"I know I'm not normal but I'm trying to change!" ~ Muriel's Wedding
I really like this show, but….