Star Wars: The Force Awakens : If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

He caught a fly with chopsticks on the first try!

Beginners' luck...or Mary Sue?

Colonel Miles Quaritch is like some sort of...non...giving-up...army guy!

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Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Wow.


How does it feel to be deconstructed?

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

This is the Luke that the Hildebrant poster and POTF2 figure were made for...

https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2237/1970307081_12faec3b39_b.jpg

http://posterwire.com/wp-content/uploads/star_wars_hildebrandt_art.jpg

Colonel Miles Quaritch is like some sort of...non...giving-up...army guy!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Awesome

Life! Don't talk to me about life.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Can you make this into a movie?

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Only if we change Luke to be female or possibly if we cast Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold's still the only modern male star who's ever been allowed to be as tough as the average female action hero is today. Any other male would look ridiculous being as much of an unstoppable badass as Rey was.

In about 10 years though Disney will probably be running out of ideas and want to reboot the whole thing with this rewrite. Maybe Channing Tatum as Luke? Just import in the whole cast of G.I. Joe with Marlon Wayans as Han Solo, Sienna Miller as Leia and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Vader.

Colonel Miles Quaritch is like some sort of...non...giving-up...army guy!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Maybe Rachel Nichols as Leia?

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Is she even still acting? I don't remember seeing her since G.I. Joe. Jessica Chastain is getting all her parts.

Colonel Miles Quaritch is like some sort of...non...giving-up...army guy!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

She is. Did Conan and other Sci Fi stuff.

Or Amy Jo Johnson who looks the same as ever.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

I still enjoyed TFA, but this is admittedly hilarious and not without some truth.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Brilliant. And spot on.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Original Poster...if you were a woman, I would ask for your hand in marriage.

Perfect

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Ha ha

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

I like to keep my readers engaged, but that's not what I had in mind.

Colonel Miles Quaritch is like some sort of...non...giving-up...army guy!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

This was seriously great man, thanks.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

My view of Rey and TFA is a bit more generous:

1. Rey is a scavenger who grew up living among a community of scavengers. By necessity, she's had to fight in order to survive.

When she first encounters BB8, he's in the clutches of another scavenger. After harsh words are exchanged, he just drops his valuable prize and rides off. Rey mentions to BB8 that she's encountered this rider before. This suggests to me that he was beaten badly by Rey in the past and he figured he would've lost BB8 anyway if the situation escalated to a confrontation.

She was also able to fend off the two hired thugs in the marketplace and subsequently flattened Fin with her staff.

2. Rey scavenges bits of technology. So it stands to reason she's knowledgeable about what to scavenge as well as how to refurbish those bits of junk. Perhaps she learned this from other members of the scavenger community. I assume she built the "speeder" she rides and renovated her own shelter. Being technically savvy, perhaps she picked up the language of astro-mech droids? Luke seemed to understand everything R2D2 said.

3. The Falcon was sitting in the salvage yard for decades -- essentially for as long as Rey can remember. Perhaps she had time to crawl in and around the craft in order to learn its systems? I believe it was Rey and Fin who liberated the Falcon from the junkyard.

4. Despite his title, Kylo Ren is not a master. He had not yet completed his training before joining the First Order. To me, he's an angry (very angry) and insecure bully who revels in tormenting weaker people in order to validate himself. He was also wounded in the side in prior to the confrontation with Fin and Rey. It's clear that Rey is potentially stronger with the Force.

5. It's true that Rey didn't have any formal training. But Luke didn't receive much either. After getting stung by the practice drone on board the Falcon, Luke was eventually able to fend off its energy bolts the second time around (with only a bit of reassurance from Obi-Wan). He also used the Force to send the torpedoes into the exhaust ports which destroyed the death star. Perhaps when pressured, novices like Rey and Luke are able to harness their innate talents. But they require training to refine, control and harness it at will.

6. General Organa sends Rey to rendezvous with Skywalker because she sees a girl who is strong with the Force. Rey's a potential pupil to lure her brother from his self-imposed exile and his shame and despair of losing Ben Solo to the dark side.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Nobody cares about your opinions, kid.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH 'Mary Sue' Rewrite)

Wow, so this thread isn't full of imbeciles! Finally someone who is able to actually use critical thinking and connect the very clear dots that the movie laid out.

But but but, Luke only was awesome because an old man told him "USE THE FORCE!" He had so much training!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH 'Mary Sue' Rewrite)





WE GOT MOVIE SIIIIIGN!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

How is it defending the movie when you need to make up stuff that wasn't in it to explain its storytelling problems away? That's what most of your comments are.

Luke did NOT understand everything R2 said. He literally asks 3PO to tell him what R2 is saying. He can only understand him without 3PO in the X-Wing when the screen translates for him.

We all know that Luke deflected laser bolts, something so minor that Han wasn't even impressed and called it luck. Luke used the Force one other time in the movie after repeated prodding by Obi-Wan. It wasn't pressure that made him use it. It was Obi-Wan's teachings and then continued prodding.

Colonel Miles Quaritch is like some sort of...non...giving-up...army guy!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

.

---
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing .

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Can someone post this to Max Landis twitter???

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

I just posted it to Wordpress and tweeted it to him. But now I see he tweeted that he's off the internet for the day 2 minutes before I tweeted it.

https://twitter.com/JediJones77/status/682269672000086023

https://jedijones77.wordpress.com/2015/12/30/if-luke-was-rey-a-k-a-the-star-wars-a-new-hope-mary-sue-rewrite/

Colonel Miles Quaritch is like some sort of...non...giving-up...army guy!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Good thinking

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Jedi-Jones hit the nail on the head. Anyone that disputes the OP by making excuses for TFA's flawed characterisation is just plain wrong.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

There is no comeback to what Jedi Jones just said.


It is perfection.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

It's sad how true this is and its not just a problem with the new Star Wars. The majority of big budget movies made today suffer from the same issues of underdeveloped characters, rushed narratives and lack of depth.

"We'll be alive but like a nightmare. You drink blood, you won't wake up from nightmare."

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

I get the feeling they'd look at a script with a "weak" character like Luke and demand rewrites, saying he needed to be stronger, tougher, more heroic, more dominant, etc. To some extent audiences are to blame. There was audience criticism that Peter Parker was too nerdy in Raimi's Spider-Man films and there's a cult that's been built around bashing Daniel Larusso from Karate Kid as a huge wimp undeserving to win the tournament.

Colonel Miles Quaritch is like some sort of...non...giving-up...army guy!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

He would hit the Death Star's exhaust port without using a targeting system ..... ohh

Such a nonsense comparison, we know Rey has had some Jedi training influence , Luke had none.
We know Luke was a farmer who lived with his Uncle and Aunt, Rey is a scavenger who has largely had to learn to fend for herself and focused her time on understanding star ships, and learning languages to help her survive.
She fought against a heavily wounded Kylo, "whose training needs to be completed"......

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)



we know Rey has had some Jedi training influence , Luke had none.



W..... T..... F..... !?!?!

Please return your nerd card immediately.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

This is smarter than anything RedLetterMedia has ever done. They loved this movie. The critics failed this city!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

They were on record recommending J. J. Abrams direct this thing. So they probably lack the courage to admit they were wrong. This thing would be a cakewalk to take apart Plinkett-style. I could write most of it myself if someone can do the video editing.

You could do a long section matching up ANH scenes to this. Obviously a Mary Sue segment. A Finn/Jar Jar/minstrel bad comedy segment.

Colonel Miles Quaritch is like some sort of...non...giving-up...army guy!

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)


They were on record recommending J. J. Abrams direct this thing. So they probably lack the courage to admit they were wrong. This thing would be a cakewalk to take apart Plinkett-style. I could write most of it myself if someone can do the video editing.
I have a feeling RLM will produce a Plinkett's review of The Force Awakens, only a year or two after the sequel trilogy is complete.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Luke had 3 movies and 2 Jedi masters to train him before facing Vader and he is also Vader's son. It was also clear that Vader could probably have killed Luke at any point with little trouble. He is practically toying with Luke and is not using any force powers on him. They even establish before going up to meet the Emperor that Vader is very conflicted and Luke senses it too.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)


This is smarter than anything RedLetterMedia has ever done.
True.


They loved this movie.
No. They didn't. It's not fair to suggest that they did.


The critics failed this city!
The mainstream or otherwise high-profile critics basically pointed out one or two gnarling problems and put down a stamp of approval.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Bookmark'd

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Don't just bookmark it. Please copy it and save it to a file.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

bump

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Very well illustrated how ridiculous TFA is, kudos!

A cynic is what an idealist calls a realist - Sir Humphrey Appleby

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

jedi-jones wrote:

Luke enters the Cantina and knocks down Ponda Baba and Dr. Evazan with a stick when they threaten him.

😀

www.jumpedtheshark.co.uk

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

The sad thing is OP'S hypothetical plot synopsis isn't even remotely an exaggeration of what Di$$$ney foisted on the public with this Rey caricature.

#NotmyStarWars

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Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Nice work, my friend. Very accurate.

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Awesome. When seen from this perspective, I can understand now why I was underwhelmed by TFA.

"If you're waiting for a woman to make up her mind, you may have a long wait." Preacher

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Rey literally brought the logic of the He-Man and the Masters of the Universe cartoon to Star Wars. Just grab the magic sword, tell yourself you have the power, and you become a superhero.

Colonel Miles Quaritch is like some sort of...non...giving-up...army guy!

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Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Another great analogy. They just changed the rules as they have existed to serve this Mary Sue creation. And why does this girl who's supposedly been scavenging out a rugged existence alone her entire life on a backwater planet speak in a perfectly posh accent? It's absurd.

#NotmyStarWars

Re: If Luke was Rey (a.k.a. The ANH "Mary Sue" Rewrite)

Yeah, at least give her a cockney accent to make her a little rough around the edges.

Colonel Miles Quaritch is like some sort of...non...giving-up...army guy!
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