I'm quite fond of lambs
have the gall to cleanse George's wounds after him instigating an unfair fight
He said something like "when you have an idealised version of love, and realise imperfect love and compare them, it's not the imperfect love that suffers, it's the idealised version."
Did he mean Liz love was idealized and when he went through with it it was only imperfect too and in comparison to imperfect demelza love it came off worse or..
Experiencing the idealized love (Elizabeth) always suffers when compared with imperfect love (demelza).
And now at the end you see them all lovey dovey on the cliff again. He got off too light. I can't imagine how any woman worth her salt, and especially Demelza, would be won back so easily. She has seen a side of him that has made her lose respect for him. You don't get that back so easily.
he hadn't slept with Elizabeth until the VBT, and you could take it to mean that once he had 'done it' with Elizabeth, he realised the sex wasn't all that great and that she wasn't any better in bed than Demelza.
I have only read the first book, but I read ahead to the reconciliation chapter. From that, and from the show, I cannot really understand what Ross meant by idealized love. Love doesn't develop (or die) in one night, it develops over time spent together. He hasn't really lived with Elizabeth to know her well enough. So is he really comparing the s3x?! Because what else can he be thinking of?
It's not that sleeping with Elizabeth somehow clinched the case for Demelza all by itself; it's that sleeping with Elizabeth finally exposed the stark choice confronting Ross and forced him to go in one direction or the other with his life. After the VBT, Ross could no longer continue with his sleazy scheme of being married to Demelza while "dating" Elizabeth (that's the truth about his trips to Trenwith). He had inadvertently maneuvered himself into a position in which he could have only one woman, not both. Keep seeing Liz, and Demelza is gone. Stay with Demelza, and Liz goes off with George. The VBT was the crossroads, not the directional sign. Ross still had to make up his mind on his own.
It wasn't the act itself, which both participating parties admitted was pleasurable, but that he could not have a wife and a mistress - a choice had to be made.
Ross still had to make up his mind on his own.
BTW where did the "VBT" phrase come from? Is it just on this board?
but was in a massive house pretty much on her own. She was very lonely so u can see why she went for a man obsessed with her in George. Then Ross half raped her and she held out for him but didn't pursue him.
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". What doesn't kill their marriage, will make their marriage stronger. I at least hope that is true in this case.