Dear John : TO all the negative people

TO all the negative people

I don't understand what is with the attack on this movie. What because it is a love story? A tragedy? Shows hardships and challenges?

Too proud to grab a Kleenex? Let a tear well up?

Seriously, those of you who are bashing Savannah, obviously have no experience. Therefore, how can you even pass judgment on her character. Have you forgotten that in previous wars, women and men alike did not exactly stay faithful when away at war? People, life is lonely and weakness happens. She felt discouraged that he was going to stay consistent in her life when he kept signing on for another 12 months, and then another 12 months.

She confided in Tim, she adored his son. She had almost a kindred relationship with him that drew her into a relationship with him. It makes perfect sense that she would spend time with them and fall for him over time.

She never loved him like she loved John, and Tim knew that. Savannah was a blessing for Tim. John eventually accepted that. So stop hating. This movie, as well as all Nicholas Sparks novels, are written to show you life can be hard, but there is always a silver lining and true soul mates can conquer all. If you don't believe in true love, then don't watch his movies or read his books.

Those of us who appreciate romance, struggle and true love will be able to enjoy the movie then without your snippy comments.

Re: TO all the negative people

She says and I quote: "I had no choice." In the words from the skit on SNL "Biiiitcchhh Please!" She had a choice and she chose and she's messed up for it. She wasn't noble for what she did. No explanation to the man she loved? If this were reversed, John would have gotten dragged through the mud. He even sold all of his father's coins to help Tim, who by the way, is a horrible man for what he did. John was too good of a person for either one of them. I never read the book so maybe the book is different but as far as the movie goes, Savannah and Tim are jerks. I would have never gotten back with her.

"They're swinging on trees. They're wankinnn!"

Re: TO all the negative people

Savannah is a Biiiitcchhh, who can do something like that to a person they love.. she could have take care of them not being with Tim

Re: TO all the negative people

Cry over what? John was with Savannah physically for a total of what? 3 weeks maximum? How much of a relationship could they have formed of had in the first place? She was a college student when they met, which probably meant that she had much growing to do while she was in college. I can see why the relationship wouldn't have lasted. In fact, I can't say that I was shocked that she married someone that was not gone overseas for years at a time.

Re: TO all the negative people

"Seriously, those of you who are bashing Savannah, obviously have no experience."

I have experience and savannah still sucks. because if you REALLY love a military man, you don't sit on your ass waiting for him to quit the military so he can come home from germany, you transfer your credits and move your ass to germany.

Re: TO all the negative people

It's not really her character flaws that make me hate this story so much. Military life is hard, very hard- but I guess so is being with someone in the military. I don't judge Savannah for not being strong enough to tough it out for John. It takes a special kind of person to do that, and most people aren't like that unfortunately.

What REAAAALLY drives me up the wall though, is how she was supposed to have "loved him" all along, and was more than willing to get back with him once he was no longer in the service. It's almost as annoying as those movies that end in wedding ultimatums- "Marry me, or I'll marry this person."

You gotta have the balls to fight and tough it out for the person you want and make decisions for yourself, none of that- "I had no choice" BS. If you can't do any of that, then you're a stepping stone for somebody else, which brings me to my initial dislike of this movie. John got back with the stepping stone.

Re: TO all the negative people

I think people just don't understand the point. It is not about being faithful or unfaithful. Savannah did something very admirable. She married Tim because he had cancer and he wanted a mother for his son after his death. Savannah loved the boy and the boy loved her so it was the best choice to do. Anyway Tim was going to die and Savannah is available for John again The goal is reached - a boy has someone to take care of him, a loving woman who understands him and can raise him well The boy even liked John! Tim knew that also

So To me this was justified perfectly. I would do the same as Savannah did and I would wait for an understanding from John Children's wellbeing is very important to me, especially those with special needs. I was admiring Savannah and the things she was doing or trying to do. A woman to look up to..

Re: TO all the negative people

Wouldn't had been easier to just ask and name Savannah as his son's God-mother?

Re: TO all the negative people

"So To me this was justified perfectly. I would do the same as Savannah did and I would wait for an understanding from John Children's wellbeing is very important to me, especially those with special needs. I was admiring Savannah and the things she was doing or trying to do. A woman to look up to.."

Really? So there was no other alternative than to marry Tim? How about being appointed Legal Guardian as prescribed in his will? That's something that's done quite often with couples who have young children and no health issues in the event of death. I'm sorry but there's just was no justification for what she did no matter how you want to spin it.

Re: TO all the negative people

I understand how she got with Tim and why. But she shouldn't have left John hanging for months without writing him. As hard as it would've been for her, she should've confided in him what she was feeling about Tim. At least it wouldn't have been such a shock when she broke it off. unless she was afraid John would talk her out of it.

A heart can be broken, but it still keeps a-beatin' just the same.

Re: TO all the negative people

The problem with the film is that it's too cutesy. It reads like something you would find in a thirteen year old's diary. What is it, half an hour before they kiss? A hour before they get down and dirty? Maybe it's the casting, but Channing Tatum has some much sexuality oozing out of his pores I would have been ripping his clothes off within ten minutes.

Does anyone really believe that this is a realistic portrayal of a romance? I thought John was more of an object of a teenage female fantasy than a true represntation of masculinity. John seemed to have stepped out of a bad chick-lit novel.

I would love to see Channing play lead in a mature love story. More Rhett Butler/Mr Darcy than Edward Cullen, please.

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Re: TO all the negative people

tim was a bastard.. marrying someone just so that she can take care of your challenged child? no man.. u don't do that. and also you don't marry someone when u know that person is in love with another man. and definitely not when you're dying of cancer

savanah's a bimbo. and a bitch, like everyone else has pointed out. feeling empathy for a kid and a dying man is ok but you don't go and *beep* marry them, especially when you have a bf putting his life in line in iraq. and when the man dies you go back to ur bf? biggest whore in hollywood

and john was a loser to have taken her back. enough said

Re: TO all the negative people

I didn't think I would like this movie either but after watching it it brought back memories of my own experience 46 years ago while I was in the Marine Corps. I hadn't even gone to Vietnam yet after Boot Camp and other Infantry training but my girlfiend of 2 years couldn't wait for me. I didn't get a "Dear John" letter or a phone call just several letters from my friends telling me what she was up to. I could relate exactly to what John said in the movie which is something I have felt for all of these years when he said, "You thought so little of me that you couldn't even tell me to my face or on the phone" or something like that. I've always felt the same way.

When I cam home on leave before leaving for Vietnam I went to her house to talk to her and the new boyfriend was there and I asked for the few items she was keeping for me and I'll neve forget the big smile on her face as she was so proud of herself apparently for screwing me over. That interchange took about 2 minutes and I was gone. She never said a word and never talked to me until I came home from Vietnam. Even when I was laying there with two bullets that went all the way through my leg I somehow thought we could get back together if I got out of there alive. What a fool I was.

They sent me back to the States and I spent 5 weeks in the Hospital but do you thing I ever got at least a get well card or a phone call to see how I was doing. What do you think? You would think that someone you were close to even though it was over you might feel some empathy for them. Whatever.

So excuse me if I don't feel sorry for Savannah. But there is such a thing as human decency to at least have the class and courage to break up with someone instead of them finding out like I did and then not even talking to them. "It's over get the flock out of here" was basically what it was like.

And also sorry for me projecting my own bitter feelings and emotions into this post. But as you can see this still hurts 46 years later!!!

Re: TO all the negative people

That's why men should "men up" and be the lead in a relationship.Never should the woman be able to do such things.

And there is no such thing as "Love". It's like eating alot of chocolate.It's your mind fooling you.

Forget the bitch,she should have NO place in your noble,life saving existance.

Re: TO all the negative people

"That's why men should "men up" and be the lead in a relationship.Never should the woman be able to do such things."
"Forget the bitch,she should have NO place in your noble,life saving existance."

Hey man, your knuckles must be so bruised and bleeding from all that dragging along the ground! I'm just so sorry for ya!

Re: TO all the negative people

Some spoilers for people here who didn't read the book. John and Savannah actually fought several times when he was away in Iraq. The book actually shows their relationship deteriorating. Also she didn't marry Tim because he was sick in the book. She married him because she was actually falling for him. He just happened to get sick later on.

I understand why people hate Savannah. I blame the movie for changing some important parts in the story. No idea why they destroyed Savannah's character.

Re: TO all the negative people

Radio110Tim married her because he loved herSavannah married Tim cause she had some companionship love for Tim but she rly loved his kid and didnt want that kid to get lost in the system if his father dieddid u even watch the movie?

~If the realistic details fails, the movie fails~

Re: TO all the negative people

I agree - and actually liked the movie. She should have told John about Tim in her letter though.

Re: TO all the negative people

Well said.

This film was fantastic :)

Re: TO all the negative people


RIGHT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I suspect it's usually some form of jealousy, somehow, somewhere.

Re: TO all the negative people

luvmarilyn23, why don't you keep your opinion about this movie and let other people have theirs. I personally like tragic love stories and have no problems with movies that show hardship. I believe in true love, although I don't have quite the juvenile view of it that you seem to. Actually, all of those things you listed are why I watched this movie. And you know what? I hated it. I really disliked John. I thought he was a jerk. I also thought Savannah was really selfish. I mean, after only spending two actual weeks together she thinks he should consult with her about his life and she should have a say in what he does. Really? I didn't believe their relationship either. All of the other stuff you mentioned is just filler. If I don't like the main characters (or one of them) if I don't really believe they are in love or have good chemistry and don't care about them, then I won't like the movie. The actors have to make the story believable. They have to make us believe they are in love and give us something to root for. These actors didn't IMO, and that was my problem with the film. I didn't cry, not because I'm afraid to tear up, but because I wasn't emotionally connected enough to the characters. By the way, you were pretty snippy yourself. People have the right to voice their opinionseven if they differ from yours.

"The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that's wrong with the world."

Re: TO all the negative people

Perhaps you tear up at the idea of a woman abandoning her commitment to her guy when things get a bit tough for her. Perhaps you get emotional at the idea of somebody taking the cowards way out because they didn't think things through when they began a relationship. Perhaps you can feel a degree of sympathy for somebody back home while their loved one is off fighting the evil in the world that kept her living free. These are all your rights and privileges. Please don't expect everyone else to buy that crap.

Re: TO all the negative people

I don't get how you people like anything about this movie over otter The Notebook in the same breathe!! This movie started out ok besides the very very bad acting. But this movie wants us to feel for this woman that abandoned the man of her dreams because he fought for his country after Sept 11th?? Wow!!!

Re: TO all the negative people

I have experience dealing with women like Savannah, which is precisely why her character upset me and made me feel disdain for her. I'm not a fan of most any character in the film, but hers took the unlikable cake.


Re: TO all the negative people

All you need to understand is that when people can't deal with their own feeling and pain they attack. It always makes me laugh when I read all these negative posts about this kind of movie. I really liked this movie and it reminded me of my own first love. Sniff sniff.