Film Art and Cinematography : Would like someone to take a look at my story

Would like someone to take a look at my story

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The Climax

Chapter 1
The Sand Men

“Gemini are you sure Orion is the right person?”Aries asked.
“Yes,” Gemini replied.
“What if he comes into be one of us, you know a Runner and he leads Sand Men to us?” Leo doubted.
“There’s no need to doubt me,” said Gemini.
“I think it’s a good idea,” said Aries.
“Hey, Aries I’ve noticed that you seem to talk a lot about Orion,” said Virgo.
“What are you trying to get at?” Aries asked.
“You love him, don’t you?” Virgo asked.
“That’s ridiculous. Don’t even go there,” Aries, replied, “leave it up to you to say something like that.”
“Remember Runners we can only stay on our Smart Phones for a few minutes,” Gemini warned.
“The Sand Men like to use text messages to listen in on any communications from us Runners,” said Neptune.
“Yeah, they also like to use phone calls and e-mails to find us,” said Aries.
“Dog on it, you two, you both should have brought that up a few seconds ago,” said Taurus.
“You got a text message, e-mail or phone call?” Gemini asked.
“E-mail,” Taurus answered.
“Stop all talk,” said Gemini.
“Oh no,” Aries thought. “We need to contact Orion.”…
It was about 5: 00 in the evening and the sun was already set. Mat McGinis had turned down his street and was heading for his apartment complex. Mat stopped and turned to look at the corner where he had come from. “Rough day at work,” Mat thought. Mat remembered that his hand brushed up against a wall. He looked at his left hand and cleaned it off. He kept walking. “I’m glad I didn’t tell Jo I was coming to the party tonight. Mat could wait to get home. He could get into his apartment and see if there are any text messages from Aries or Gemini. He moved as quickly as he could. “Hope Miss. Jones don’t see me before I get in my house. She always wants to talk and talk and I can’t think of how much she talks. Just want to get inside my place and read my Smart Phone.” As he got near the complex, he moved more quietly and hoped that Miss. Jones was not sitting outside with her dog Brownie. Mat looked around a corner. Miss Jones was there and just turning with Brownie to go into her apartment. She went in and shut the door. Mat let out a deep breath. He quietly moved to the door of his apartment and made sure to keep very quiet. He took his keys out. Suddenly the keys slipped. The keys hit the ground and Mat felt like they made to much noise. “Oh dog it. If the day wasn’t hard enough.” He looked and saw nothing. He swiftly reached down and took hold of the keys and they stippled from his hands again!” Mat placed his hand over his eyes. He could not believe he made the same mistake allowing the keys to slip from his hand. He slowly picked the keys back up.
As he started to use one of the keys to open the door and voices called out, “Hey Mat.” Mat jumped in fear.
“Jeez! Sonya, do you have to walk up on me?” said Mat. Mat quickly looked to see if Miss Jones came out. No surprisingly. His skin looked lighter then it was before as he looked at Sonya’s brown skin and dark brown eyes.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scar you,” said Sonya. “I didn’t think I could scar a tall white man so quickly.”
“Sonya you’re look beautiful dressed in your yellow and brown flower design dress. Now what do you want? And go away.” Mat whispered.
“Why are you whispering?” Sonya asked.
“Shhhh,” Mat hushed. “Don’t talk so loud,” he warned.
“So are you going to the party that Jo is giving for his own birthday?” Mat looked around to see if anyone was looking.
“No,” he said softly, “you enjoy. Talk to you later. Got to go now.” Mat turned to and used his key to open the door to his apartment.
“We should go out some time,” Sonya suggested. “Call me.” As Mat opened the door Miss Jones came out.
“Mat is that you sonny?” Miss Jones asked. Mat quickly slammed the door.
“Call me,” Sonya said to Mat. Mat shook his head and sighed as he was now in his place. He placed his briefcase down and went to get a glass a glass of water. As he drank, he felt his Droid X 20 jingled in his pocket. He pulled the Smart Phone out and looked at it. It was letting him know he had a text message.
: Hello Orion, the message said.
Mat quickly went to his room and typed back: Gemini.
: Yes it is I, the person wrote back. I see you’re home now.
“What,” Mat thought, “how does he know I’m home?” Mat text back: How do you know I’m home?
: Orion I and my people know a lot about you, more then you think. Now I don’t have a lot of time to talk.
: I need to know about Climax and how to get it.
: You will know about that in time. For right now, you are in danger.
“In danger,” Mat thought: What do you mean danger? He wrote.
: Look outside and be careful how long you look. Mat peeped out his bedroom window. He saw two men across the street in front of a long stretched vehicle. Each man wore a gray tuxedo. The men looked at Mat. Mat quickly moved back and hid
: What do they want?
: They want you. Those are Sand Men and they’re after you.
: For what reason?
: They believe you are the one who will be able to help me and those who are with me. They want to take you in.
“What,” Mat thought : You need to help me, he transcribed via text.
: And I will, but you must do everything Aries and I tell you. You can’t afford to miss a step.
“We need to get Orion,” one of the Sand Men said.
“We need to call the Police Department and Swat Team,” said the other Sand Man, “We can’t get him any other way; he’s talking to a Runner known as Gemini.
“Yes just as our leader George predicted,” said the other man. Mat heard the sounds of sirens. A huge squad of Police cars and black vans came outside Mat’s apartment.
: Orion, Police Officers and Swat Teams are outside. The Sand Men called them, Gemini jotted down. Mat couldn’t believe it. He slightly looked out ad saw the whole group.
“Why me and all this over finding out about Climax,” said Mat: Okay, you need to tell me me how to get of of this predicament, he composed with some mistakes.
: We’ll get you out, Aries engraved.
: Oh, you’re joining in the fun now, Mat typed to Aries.
: Listen Orion this is no time for jokes. You must do as I say or you’re meat for Hell, Aries entered.
“This is Lieutenant Larry Kriss,” said a voice over a loud speaker. “I demand complete surrender from Mat McGinis. We order you to come out.”
“Oh jeez, now what?” Mat thought.
: Orion you need to go to the roof of your apartment, Aries wrote. Don’t think go now. Mat look quickly around to see what personal item he could grab. Aires sent him a warning that there was no time to think he had to go. Mat ran out of his room and looked for the way to get to the roof.
“Jeez I don’t know any way besides the front door to get out,” Mat said as he looked around. His Droid X 20 buzzed. Mat looked the phone.
: Go to the pantry, Aires text, there should be a brown door. Mat listened to the message. He went to the pantry and saw a door just as Aires’ message told him.
“How does this person know all this?” Mat thought. Mat opened the door and saw stairs leading up and down. Out of nowhere, the swat team broke down the door to the apartment and ran in. They looked around the place. Mat went up stairs.
“No one is here,” said one of the members of the Swat Team. One of the members discovered the backdoor. A small group of Swat Team went up and a small group when down the stairs. As Mat continued up, he saw a large window with a Sand Man standing with her back turned to him. He ran upward even faster. He got to the roof and looked around.
“Okay, now where, Mat thought. He looked at his Smart Phone. The phone buzzed. “Oh good Aries is sending me another text.”
: Orion duck down and go over to the nearest wall, Aries communicated. Mat did as the message told him. Bullets suddenly flew over his head.
“He’s on the roof,” a vice radioed about Mat.
: Orion there is a fire escape go to it straight ahead, Aries wrote. Mat thought: quickly Mat.
“Oh God,” Mat thought as he looked down from the escape.
“Gemini he’s not moving fast enough,” said Aries.
“Aries you’re not supposed to contact me or any Runner with a phone call,” said Gemini. Aries cut off the call and got out of the area. A few Sand Men came in the area and looked around.
“There was someone here possibly a Runner,” said one Sand Man. Mat started to climb down the ladder but it was to late.
“Freeze right there! Get back up here!” a man with a gun shouted at Mat.
“Uh oh,” Mat thought. He came back up, two Swat Team members grabbed him, and another placed handcuffs on him.
“We’ve got the terrorist Mat McGinis,” one member radioed.
“Bring him down, said a voice on the other end. The Swat Team walked with Mat. They brought him down the staircase.
: Aries are you Okay. Neptune wrote.
: Just fine, Aries responded via text: We missed Orion. He was moving to slow.
: You’re not supposed to call any Runner, Gemini transcribed: You’ll lead Sand Men to you and the rest of us.
: I know I forgot, Aries typed: That locked person Orion was moving to slow.
: He seemed to be doing just fine, Gemini recorded.
: Now what do we do? Aries Jotted.
: This is not the end, we’ll get Orion unlocked and to the Climax, Gemini wrote: Leo you see any Titan Walkers coming or activity from the leader of the Sand Men known as George.
: No sir, Leo wrote back.
: Think about it Aries when you were first being unlocked you had to lot to learn, Gemini text.
: Yeah, we’ll I’m much better then Orion, Aries responded via text.
: They’re taking him to the Police Station and labeled him as a terrorist, Neptune jotted down.
: We might what to find someone else to unlock, Leo scripted.
: We’re going to focus on Orion before we attempt to unlock someone else,” Gemini transcribed.
Aries sighed and wrote: Neptune, can you get a door to open, I need to get to the Police Department.
: One door coming up as you ordered, Neptune typed. Neptune used telekinesis to create a door. Aries walked up to the door and slowly opened it. She peeped out to the other side. No one seemed to be nearby the door. Aries moved fully into the area and quickly closed the door. She looked around now as she wore a Police uniform.
“I forgot what it’s like being on Earth now that I’m in Climax. I’ve been in the world Climax for four hundred and six days now. Aries heard footsteps. She used her telekinesis to lift her self up to the ceiling and stayed there. A group of Cops came down the hall with Mat in their custody. “Got her just in time.” The Cops brought Mat to a room and sat him down. They walked out. Mat gave then stern looks and they gave stern looks too as they left. Suddenly Aries Smart Phone Droid 10 vibrated. She pulled the phone out and looked at its message.

Re: Would like someone to take a look at my story

will have a look at it for sure

live like a pro dude

Re: Would like someone to take a look at my story

I don't get it. What is the point? Is it science fiction?