Games: RPG : OT: Critique

OT: Critique

So I've been looking for critiques on a script I've been working on. I was curious to know if anyone would be willing to read the first story (it's an anthology and there will be more to come) and give me some feedback on it. I would PM it to you as I prefer the privacy of that or if only a few people want to read it I'd rather not post to the board. If you do want to critique my work I ask that you keep it to constructive criticism only. So if you would like to read what I've written just say so on this thread and I'll PM you what I have ASAP. Just figured it couldn't hurt to ask.

"It's only a movie, and, after all, we're all grossly overpaid." Alfred Hitchcock