Goofs : All time greatest clichés part 2

This one is also used and is SOOO overused:

Say a man is talking to a girl and the girl finds something out about the man. The man says "Please, I can explain!" while the girl walks off and then he feels down about himself.

I mean come on now, can't the writers come up with better lines for these scenarios?

Movies are freakin awsum!!

well except look cool and cover the face so as to provide an endless amount of faceless minions. Swords cut through it, bullets ignore it. It has no weight so you could probably swim with it on.

...and if you disagree with me then you, sir, are worse than Hitler.

Easy.

Temporary Amnesia. You and I never met anyone with this but it's used all the do-da time.

Living Is Easy With Eyes Closed

And the first words the amnesiac utters are always "Who am I? Where am I?"

This would fall under plans that go wrong (or seemingly go wrong). The good guys come up with a plan that involves fire or explosions to take down the bad guys. So they have to light a fuse or a flammable liquid. But then...Oh no! The match/lighter won't light. Tension builds, tempers flare, swearing occurs, all seems lost...but then just before stuff hits the fan it ignites! Flames, explosions, death to the bad guy. The day is saved.

...and if you disagree with me then you, sir, are worse than Hitler.

This always happens... and it does my head in, and it has probably been said already on here:
In almost every horror movie, where there is a secluded group of people, they always pick up there cell phone and low and behold, there is no FK** signal. I WANT MORE IMAGINATION.
I mean i wouldn't mind if one of them accidentally got the mobile freaking phone stuck up there AR**, but now everytime i see the no signal thing in a film i go into a semi-frenzy!!!

Top 5 movies:A Clockwork Orange, Goodfellas, Seven Samurai, The Dark Knight, Dead Man's Shoes.

Greatest movie cliché EVER--whenever a man and a woman finish having sex, the woman is always leaning on her side with her upward-facing arm over the man's chest. The man's got his arms folded back with his hands behind his head and looks amazingly smug, as though having sex is the greatest achievement EVER.

Boring, boring, boring, boring, BORING!

lol. One of my favorites.

Heroic shoulder wounds never stop the hero from making the perfect shot, or doing kung fu moves.

that heroic shoulder wound usually is tended by an attractive woman. The pain is soon forgotten as the sex begins.

...and if you disagree with me then you, sir, are worse than Hitler.

At the end of the movie the villan has the hero all alone with a gun to his head about to finally kill him, until the hero asks the villan why he did, and for some reason the villan goes into great detail not only why, but how he did it. This gives the hero just enough time to either be saved by someone else or to devise a way to get out of the situation and turn the tables so that he is the one killing the villan.

If a charector does not share the same views and beliefs as the main charector they are portrayed as completely evil.

this seems to have become a cliche on the USA network, From Touching Evil to Monk to Psyche. Either way our hero enters the room and points out stuff the audience has heard a thousand times (a cliche you might say )..."see the glass was broken from the outside and it's laying on top of the victim so that means our man didn't do it" or "our victim was paralyzed so he couldn't have climbed the ladder to hang himself." Obvious things that all the other detectives stand around and ooh and ah at while proclaiming "he's a genius!" They also may make such a leap that it's ridiculous but considered "genius!" "Those footprints are our perp's because no one in this house would ever wear cowboy boots."

The flaw of the detective usually is what makes him such a great detective.

...and if you disagree with me then you, sir, are worse than Hitler.

Can't remember if this has appeared in this thread, but what the heck, I'll say it, and say it again.

Picture a horror scene, hero(es) fleeing from deadly killer/adversary/monster they jump in their car, crank the engine, and "whirr-whirr-whirr" the ignition fails... Bad guy gets nearer, almost at the door... hero franticly turns the key again to no avail, then just as bad guy reaches the window and starts pounding on it, the engine fires up and they get away.


The Sledge
Corripe Cervisiam

Possibly been mentioned before but one that always bugs me. Moving 10 feet away from someone and having a private conversation in a normal speaking voice in a quiet room means the other people in the room can't hear you. Or a hospital beds curtain is excellent at blocking sound.

An unbranded cereal wheat biscuit

First of all, if there's two heroes fighting in separate areas (usually the hero fighting the main villain, and the hero's girlfriend fighting the villain's girlfriend (or the "number two" henchman), when the hero is losing the fight, the other good fighter is also losing the fight. Then, the two seem to kill their foes at exactly the same time.

Also, the good guy, no matter how great of a fighter they are, always gets almost beaten by the villain. Then, a contrived opportunity happens, like a pipe laying on the floor for the hero to hit the villain with, which allows them to win the fight. Or, the villain is doing his victory speech to the hero, like "you shouldn't have messed with me!" The hero always finds something to kill the villain with at this point while on the ground, or does some miraculous move to kill the villain.

Every movie. I swear.

ah you mean when the bad guy is choking the life out the good guy and all seems lost but the good guys reaches for the hammer/lamp/board/tire iron etc which is just out of reach. So the hero reaches and reaches and reaches. OH NO! all seems lost suddenly the weapon leaps into the hero's hands and WHAM! The hero turns the fight around and wins.

Just once I'd like to see the bad guy who cannot be beaten in a fair fight and the good guy has to fight dirty to win.

...and if you disagree with me then you, sir, are worse than Hitler.

Worst cliché ever, without a doubt. The hero gets infected with some virus (or the hero's girlfriend). The movie follows the hero's exploits to get the cure in time. At the end the villain may throw the cure in the air causing the good guys to dive for it in slow mo so it doesn't break, or try to use the cure for leverage.

They made fun of that in Austin Powers with Doctor Evil having Austin Power's mojo.

I think this happens in every movie that involves gunfire. The hero is being chased by baddies while firing their guns. But they are always one step behind him in their aiming. Luckily for us he is running by a white fence or a giant window so we can see how close those bullets came to hitting him . This also seemed to happen a lot during WWII movies when fighter planes would chase down people on the ground. There is no way the fellow can out run the plane but some how he does manage to outrun the bullets as they kick up dust behind him.

...and if you disagree with me then you, sir, are worse than Hitler.

Much like being chased by bullets there is another thing that chases heroes, a pit. Our heroes are walking/running when all of a sudden the ground/bridge begins to crumble. They race just ahead of the falling debris and make a last second jump to safety. Not only can it be a bridge or ground but also ice even a roof.

...and if you disagree with me then you, sir, are worse than Hitler.

I posted this on another board as well but:

In a serial killer type movie. Where some detective has been suspended from the case but is still obsessed in finding the killer. And he is at home looking at clues and evidence therefor not spending much time with his wife and family.

His wife then confronts him:
Wife: "Dammit Tom, Think of you family. Its like you're two different persons"
Tom the Detective: "What did you say?"
Wife: "I said you are like two different persons?"

He looks through evidence holding up 2 pictures of suspects realizing there are two killers.

Tom: "Honey you're a genius!"

And he goes to catch the bad guys! Probable alone because of the suspension.

Exactly!

If anyone ever makes a wish and for some reason it comes true that person will regret it. He might wish for a new life or money or fame but he will always regret getting what he wants. The only wish that turns out well is the one that cancels the first wish.

...and if you disagree with me then you, sir, are worse than Hitler.

"You shouldn't have messed with me, but just had to keep digging, didn't ya!"

- Menacing villain's last words when he/she thinks that they've won.

the main character usually wants to hook up with the beautiful guy/girl. So he/she enlists the aid of a cute but awkward friend, who obvious to the audience is in love with the main character. All plans fail until that one succeeds but then the main character suddenly comes to the realization that the beautiful guy/girl is ugly on the inside and it is the friend who truly cares. The friend then removes a ugly pair of glasses or get a new hairstyle and *poof* love is born.

...and if you disagree with me then you, sir, are worse than Hitler.

Everyone is an awful shot, even from a really short distance, in most cases despite their overwhelming experience with firearms, but only the hero is able to hit anyone... Also, most heros seem to be impervious to bullets, most bad guys go down in one, he needs at least three, and still won't die.

this usually happens when the hero is over matched by the villain. The villain could be a monster or an animal. The villain chases the hero who usually stumbles and falls to the ground. As the villain leaps in for the kill the hero raises a sharp object. It could be a sword or a piece of wood. Either way the villain is impaled but still manages to fall directly on the hero. Things are tense for a while until the hero rolls the villain off them revealing the impalement.

...and if you disagree with me then you, sir, are worse than Hitler.

Whenever someone's hurt.

There are two takes on revenge. First if the main character is wronged then REVENGE!!!!!!!! is a good thing. However if REVENGE!!!!!!! is sought by a secondary character or a one shot character then it is wrong and the hero of the story preaches how bad REVENGE!!!!!!! is.

...and if you disagree with me then you, sir, are worse than Hitler.

The villain gets cuddly with and begins to kiss another character. Then, suddenly, a shot rings out. The person who was kissing the villain looks up, surprised, and then falls over. It's then revealed that the villain was holding a gun when they were kissing, and shot him or her in the stomach.

Sometimes also serves to show that somebody is a double agent.

1 - Everybody killed in a car falls against the carn horn.

2 - Not so much anymore, but in teen movies:

Guy: Want to go to (the spot where everybody in town goes to have sex in their car) and make out?

Girl: Sure!

This is especially annoying in a modern movie, when nobody has done that since the 1960s.

3 - People running away from an explosion on a bridge, where the bridge blows up in segments with the explosion "chasing" them.

Don't know if this has been mentioned already.

If you look out the window somewhere in Paris, no matter which way the window is facing, or where the building is located, you can always see the Eiffel Tower.

When I said I wanted to be a comedian, they all laughed at me. Well, they're not laughing now!

Practically every movie ever made involving living dinosaurs has the following scene:

Person A: That thing is a dinosaur!

Person B: That can't be, dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 million years!

To make it worse, this scene usually occurs after Person B has already SEEN the dinosaur in question. How dumb are they?

As a corollary to the Stormtrooper Rule (bad guys couldn't fire a bullet into the ocean from the beach)... they don't know how to HOLD their weapons either. A good example I saw recently was on Burn Notice-- the protagonist gets into a firefight and the grunts with automatic weapons are holding Uzis sideways and one-handed. Some had AK-47s away from the shoulder; if you hold an AK-47 like that you'll wind up with a mouthful of broken teeth or a shattered collarbone.

Sprechen sie Deutsch?

Sometimes it's also the opposite, like on 24, with the "bumbling cannon fodder" cliche. Armed guards will be completely useless against even the least skilled of terrorists, or even somebody that has never shot a gun before. Then, the hero comes in and kills all of the bad guys by himself or herself. Another good example is Air Force One - 0 terrorist casualities, and like 10 Secret Service casualities, with the terrorists openly running out of cover individually with 5 or so cannon fodder shooting at them.

When kids are supposed to be playing video games and theyre so obviously not- sometimes the controllers don't match the consoles- sometimes they just button mash like idiots, and once ive actually seen that the TV was turned off! Don't kids play video games? Why don't they know how to act it? I also hate when someones playing a video game and a second kid just joins in playing, as if you dont have to restart it and chose "multiplayer"... this is different on Shaun of the Dead because i believe with that game you CAN join in, and they effectively play realistically :D

Don't know about you, but I am un chien Andalusia!

If someone's car drives off a cliff in a film and they aren't supposed to die, the driver will always be revealed to be hanging onto something on the side of the cliff, like a rope or something, that they presumably grabbed as the car was going down.

Everybody in Soap Operas talks to themselves.

Whenever a car runs out of gas, it will always be in the desert.

When to lovers are separated by a glass partition one will place his/her hand on the glass and the lover will then reach out and "touch" the hand with their own. Oddly enough I think they did the same thing in Star Trek II with Kirk and Spock.

Vini, vedi, weewee.

when in a hostage or other similar dangerous situation, smart alec comments being made to dangerous and/or armed criminals/terrorists.

And in cheesy movies (*Ahem... The Mummy 2), the smart alec comments will be made by a kid.

When the military is called to fight giant monsters or robots they must be in easy reach of the monsters tentacles or its jump attack. A tank will approach and we get to see how large the monster is compared to the tank. There will be soldiers surrounding the tank all happy that the monster is now going to get his just desserts. A hatch will be open and one fellow will be standing halfway in the tank yelling orders to the men inside. He will be full of himself and can hardly wait to fire his cannon. Of course the tank only gets a single shell off when the monster crushes the tank. Helicopters too will not fire from anything less than 100 ft. It too will be crushed without much trouble either by the jumping monster or a something being thrown at it...let's say a crushed tank.

Vini, vedi, weewee.

In movies people get brainwashed, possessed, or taken over by aliens or some unknown technology. They kill and kill and kill without remorse or emotion. But sooner or later they meet up with someone they love. At first they go about trying to kill them just as they did everyone else. But then they get hit by the speech.

Jimmy it's me! Zelda! Remember all those happy times we had? Remember how much we love each other! Remember [insert romantic getaway] Jimmy! I know you're in there! You have to fight it! Fight it! I know you won't kill me. Our love is just too strong!

Of course Jimmy stops and we can see a fierce battle of emotions come across his face as he fights and fights and fights! Then his face relaxes and he says "Zelda? is that you?" Then they run into each others arms and kiss.




Vini, vedi, weewee.

This is mostly in sitcoms: I notice that nearly everytime two or more characters are watching something on TV (especially if it's something "important" like a documentary/interview with one of the people or their TV show or something like that), the characters will systematically turn the TV off and on in order to talk, as if the TV is just too bright and too loud to possibly have their mini-conversation without doing so. And if they don't turn the TV off, the sound coming from it will just suddenly disapear while they're talking as if they're able to turn the TV off and on with their minds! O.O =P

Another thing is that if a movie has a theme song, it'll often times be worked into the movie itself. This usually makes sense, except when the theme song explains everything that happens in the movie...which the characters never seem to notice. =/

Sorry if this has been mentioned already, but I HATE it in movies (actually I think its mainly in TV shows I see this) whenever someone uses a computer, they never seem to use a mouse. They just tap very loudly at the keyboard to make it sound like they're doing something.
Of course the screen is always facing away from the camera.

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Take that, space coyote!

There's a game of poker (always poker) going on, with several toughs playing. Moustachioed, stubbled, smoking a big stogie and with a tumbler of scotch in front of each one.

Our hero, who is obviously carrying a lot of cabbage, somehow chances upon the game and says something like "Oh, are you gentlemen playing cards? I quite enjoy a game of Snap now and then!" The toughs give each other a knowing look and ask our hero (could be a little old lady even) to join.

Our hero then produces a visor from nowhere and puts it on, starts dealing the cards really quickly, and says something like "OK, we got ace-to-five, action only, no sandbagging, no rolled up trips, dealer plays the board and pocket pairs are high OK? You in? YOU IN??"

At which the toughs all gape open-mouthed before losing all their money.






(With thanks to Wikipedia for the poker jargon. I know it makes no sense, but it sounds good...)

Can we have a big hand for the original and best? All those cliches are copying the immortal Sgt Bilko. Except when you see the one episode where he does it, it's still funny.



"You ain't the devil. I saw the devil on TV last night, and he had a English accent."

You're right, Unclen - I was just re-reading my post and I thought "That's Bilko!"

It has become a stock ploy since his brilliant portrayal though.

You know the one...he's hanging from a wire in a harness while dressed in black while trying to steal something. I've seen it many times in many movies and tv shows. I just saw it again this morning on some show my little 7 years niece was watching but the person dangling from the wire was a toy rat trying to steal a box.

WH Press Secretary Robert Gibbs should end every statement he says with, “Snarf snarf.”

When landlines are down, the cellphone is dead, and the protagonists are alone and cut off. What can they do? One of their number spent some time in the boyscouts and learned morse cord 20 years ago. Beep beep beep beep beep! Impossibly lucky the person on the other end knows morse code too!

Bumper stickers are like cats. If you have more than 2 your sanity is questionable.

These are mostly for TV shows:

Whenever a woman throws up she later finds out she is pregnant.

Whenever a pregnant woman falls she has a miscarriage.

Ladies who wake up in the morning in full make up.

Couples who wake up and immediately start kissing - morning breath???

Or the pitch of somebody singing. My god, how stupid is that? I've seen it used like 3 times already in movies, and it didn't make sense any of the times.

Equally as stupid is the "What did you say!?" line that is used all too commonly. A character says something unrelated, giving the main character an idea. For example, the "catch a cold" line on Independence Day.

The Fakeout dream happens in both movies and television shows. It can be from someone dying to a love connection that finally happens. They are, however, easy to spot, especially in television shows. Television shows will not let something just happen. There will always be a build up to it or at the very least they will promote the heck out of something so it won't be a surprise. Let's just say the thing that happens in the Fakeout dream is something very unclicheish. It simply would never happen. For example: I recently started watching Tru Blood. The ongoing romance between the vampire and human (yeah, I'm truly bored by it but other aspects of the show are interesting) has been going on for sometime. At one point for no apparent reason the girl gets out of bed then runs outside where her vampire love interest (no sex yet) just happens to be waiting. No words are exchanged. They run together and start going at it like dogs. At this point my mind is screaming FAKEOUT! And of course he bites her and she wakes up- revealing this all to be a dream.

Bumper stickers are like cats. If you have more than 2 your sanity is questionable.