Humor : Bad jokes

Bad jokes

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Cause he neverlands!



Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes



"When you can't look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark." ~ Alice in Wonderland

Re: Bad jokes



What does a zombie vegetarian eat?

Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains!

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes



"When you can't look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark." ~ Alice in Wonderland

Re: Bad jokes

You do realize you're just encouraging me, right?

Why didn't the astronaut come home to his wife?

He needed his space!



Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes



"When you can't look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark." ~ Alice in Wonderland

Re: Bad jokes

I got fired from my job in the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance. So I pusher her over.

"I got a million of'em!"







Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes



"When you can't look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark." ~ Alice in Wonderland

Re: Bad jokes

If you think THAT one was bad….

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised
to make Eggs Benedict.

So I'm going home for the hollandaise.



Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes



"When you can't look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark." ~ Alice in Wonderland

Re: Bad jokes

LOL!



Why do cow-milking stools only have three legs?

Cause the cow has the udder!

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes



"When you can't look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark." ~ Alice in Wonderland

Re: Bad jokes

Why did the can crusher quit his job?


Because it was soda pressing!

Re: Bad jokes

What did the duck say when she bought a lipstick?


Put it on my bill!

Re: Bad jokes

I knew both of those.



PS What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?

Oh sheet!

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes



"When you can't look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark." ~ Alice in Wonderland

Re: Bad jokes

I like to spend every day like it's my last.

Staying in bed and calling a nurse to bring me more pudding.



Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes



"When you can't look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark." ~ Alice in Wonderland

Re: Bad jokes

How did Darth Vader know that Luke got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents.



Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes



"When you can't look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark." ~ Alice in Wonderland

Re: Bad jokes




What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

"Supplies!"

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes



"When you can't look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark." ~ Alice in Wonderland

Re: Bad jokes




Imagine if America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.

(not gonna happen)

There would be mass confusion!

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes

It's inappropriate to make a "dad joke" if you're not a dad.

It's a faux pa!



Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes

What did the cat say to the dog?

You bitch!



Got a surprise. Look inside. http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/tongue/tongue0007.gif

Re: Bad jokes

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile?

"Robin, get in the Batmobile."



Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes

What happens to thanksgiving when your fat momma enters the house?

It ends in five minutes

Got a surprise. Look inside. http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/tongue/tongue0007.gif

Re: Bad jokes







I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.

But it's only mild.



Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes

Why doesn't the gingerbread man wear shorts.
He's got crummy legs

Re: Bad jokes



Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

Because it's pointless!

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes

Why do the French enjoy eating snails?
Because they don't like fast food

Re: Bad jokes



Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes

I actually like that one.

The last baseball game I went to I was freezing.
The stadium was full of fans

Re: Bad jokes

Thanks.



What did the buffalo say when his male offspring left?

Bison!

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes

Why do sharks live in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze

Re: Bad jokes

I've heard that one before.



I was sitting in traffic the other day.

Probably why I got run over.

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes

Did you know squirrels swim on their backs?
They do it to keep their nuts dry

Re: Bad jokes



Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest, and lean forward.

That's just how I roll!

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes

What do you give a cannibal who's late for a dinner party.
The cold shoulder

Re: Bad jokes

LOL! I like that one!

Why don't ants get sick?

They have anty-bodies!



Gotta go night night now.

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Bad jokes

๐Ÿ‘

Re: Bad jokes



Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.
โ–ฒ Top