Star Wars : Why no Obese Jedi?

Why no Obese Jedi?

Hmm

BLM, I'm cumming.

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

You didn't?

Vlad! You just dropped the O bomb???!!!

Confucius

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

Vlad is a big fan of The Obese.

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?



Confucius

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

The force, of course! Projectile vomiting on command keeps the waistline trim. Except that fat fuck Mark Hamill, and look what happened there, he died of heart attack just from a little force projecting!

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

They all have personal trainers.



Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

Here's the thing, Jedi can use their minds to do whatever they want. Hungry? Use the force, Luke. Horny? Use the force, Luke.

They even use the force to enhance their ability to move should they ever need to do so, meaning their muscles are less important. Ergo they're physically weaker. Their muscles should have atrophied due to the influence of the force.

In reality,the Jedi would all be fucking fatasses. Imagine lardball mace windy chomping on fried chicken as he discusses various arcane subjects with the Obese Jedi Council as Yoda's blob like body floats around the room naked. Disgusting!

BLM, I'm cumming.

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

Also, no women, or at least very very few women. Those thAt do exist are hot busty bitches in scantily clad porn outfits as is customary of most fantasy shows

BLM, I'm cumming.

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

Maybe it's because of the risks of force fart they may release? They might blow the half of planet off with it. Or end the war sooner with mass destructive power.

Blessed to the Giver
Cursed be the Thief
May fortune smile upon
the True and Liars
come to Grief

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

They haven't discovered fast food and beer yet

Well, this is a tomb. I'll make them feel at home

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

Communing with your midichlorians eats up calories. It is known.

'(sigh) We humans are stupid egotistical self-deluded beings'

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

Seen Empire?

Jogging is a big part of Jedi training.

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

Not for masters like Yoda who rides on the back of trainees. I'm picturing some McDojo looking masters, the type you'd see at those strip mall dojos. They're always fat, and the Jedi would have a bunch of them high in their ranks.

BLM, I'm cumming.

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?



No doubt Yoda had some fat ass Jedi sitting on his shoulders during training - hence the Fucked back and walking stick.

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

Judge me by my size do you?

And well you should not! For my ally is the force….
And a powerful ally it is👍

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

Well, sir, perhaps in the Star Wars universe there are no obsese Jedi, but here in the UK, at the center of the real universe, our latest census shows that the religion has almost 400,000 followers. All of which are morbidly obese, black garment wearing, vitamin d deficient, neck beard types, whose only experience of any form of combat is when they were beaten senseless at school for getting over-excited in a "who shot first, Greedo or Han?" debate.

For the record, my take on the whole thing is that it was Han, because he was the epitome of a wild west, lawless gunslinger, and anybody who disagrees with me can expect a humungous force blast to the mother fucking face, you fucking Trekkie bitches!

Oh my, I'm so sorry. That was terribly rude of me and most unbecoming of a global political titan. Please forgive me. I really don't know what came over me.

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

Are you one of these Obese?

BLM, I'm cumming.

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

I heard his appendage is quite obese

Confucius

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

I beg your pardon? Have you not seen me, sir? I'm an athlete.

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

Your writings, my good sir, are on par with comedy greats. and so, I leave you with this

Alan Shore: [referring to a book about parasites found on salmon] This book, "A Stain Upon The Sea" it's all about these sea lice.

Denny Crane: Interesting.

Alan Shore: They call them cling ons.

Denny Crane: Did you say Klingons?

Confucius

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

Isn't he a great sock? Couldn't possibly be Orson. He can't write to save his life. No, certainly not him.

BLM, I'm cumming.

Re: Why no Obese Jedi?

Indeed he is

Confucius
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