Sex and Dating : Poll: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Does marriage make people unhappy?

Good Lord, Married women are hornier than ever. it makes me wonder what the source of their desire to cheat is.

Do you think marriage imposes undue difficulties in terms of commitment and expectations? What is it about married women that makes them want to cheat? I suppose the same question applies for married men.

Please discuss

yes
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No
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I'm cumming.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Nah. Those people just shouldn't have gotten married, probably. You have a lot of married women pursuing you but there's many more married women not pursuing you.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

No offense.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Yeah but they all want to.

I'm cumming.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Good reply.

I was married and it ended. Divorce rate is 50%, and something like 70% of all women who stay married would divorce if they had the financial means to do it. Not sure how accurate that last figure is, but it makes you wonder.

I think the root cause is unfulfilled expectations surrounding marriage coupled with constraints on personal freedoms. People think being married will make life better and that's not how it works. It is a huge learning process with a lot of work and sacrifice for a marriage to be successful. People have unrealistic expectations, which they don't communicate with their partners.

I'm cumming.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

It's hard work. Like all difficult things, it is very rewarding if you put in the work. But you need two complex people to choose to put in that work and sometimes that just doesn't line up, and it can't be carried by one person. In most cases though both people are lazy or clueless or distracted.

I think people think marriage is some happily ever after fairy tale, like getting to the actual marriage is the hard part. People get pissed if "perfect relationship" celebrities say the key to it working is a lot of work. Like you say, they immediately think it makes life better - and it does if done properly, but you have to earn that. It's worth it though, imo. It's better than not being married to someone you love.

People watch too many movies. You don't see five years down the line when that honeymoon period has faded and the real challenges come in. They aren't equipped for it and they have too many options to leave (or think they do) so they're simply not committed.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Good post by the, ahem, REAL NIGGE®.

It's work. So it's gotta be worth it. And also there has to be more than one or two areas of life where you have similar interests - the physical attraction side has to be there of course, but you also need a few other shared interests, be it in food, travel, sports, entertainment, politics, etc. If not, in the long run you will get bored.

And you have to do little things. When I know Ivanka is down, I will build a hotel/casino for her, talk to a Russian or Saudi oligarch for her dad, or buy the island of St. Bart's. little, detail-minded things.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

I think similar interests help a lot, and are key for some marriages. I think similar values could be enough. You just need something to build on. Plenty of arranged marriages end up happy because they have the same values and because they are committed - they have no choice but to make it work. We all change a bit so if you start to seem too different, why not find new interests together, that kind of thing - playing and doing things together seems vital.

In my opinion, commitment is number one, communication is a close second. The rest is just like… a bonus. A way to make your time together better. Communication does involve being in tune with your partners needs too, like you and Ivanka. We can't expect to be psychic but after a decade or more together we should be able to read the basics, and the other partner should be willing to tell their spouse what's going on with them. Not even trying is just lazy.

ETA: "Compatibility" is this nebulous thing that seems really important, I guess that's what we're talking about here, but it also seems like a general personality balancing thing?

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

I can't argue or add to any of that. Makes sense and rings true.

I would say that if after say 10 years you hadn't picked up just one new interest or activity that you could share with your partner, one that you probably wouldn't have taken up otherwise, you may not be trying hard enough.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

I agree. I'm really glad you and Ivanka have found your love of imperialism together! I have high hopes for you two

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Part of the fun has been starting out together with next to nothing - just a few hundred million dollars put together, a constellation of high-level networks and connections, great education, good looks – so, really, not much, and that's made us bond even more.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Incredibly astute posts.

Nailed it.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

People get married and alot of married couples get sick of each other after around 3-4 years and get divorced. It sucks but that's the reality.

I was very careful about who I chose to get engaged to, I know I will never get tired of him.

Now cue the smart alecs who will say something about me flirting on the board

"You had me at Elk Tartare"
-Erin Wotherspoon

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

I don't think it even matters if you get "tired" of them. You probably will get sick of and annoyed by each other at points, but who cares? Why is that even that important in a lifelong commitment? You get "sick of" a couch and get rid of it, a human being is a growing, changing thing… we see each other as too disposable these days. Humans are weird and complex and need a lot of space. The important part is having the commitment to work past that feeling and not thinking it needs to be all excitement and loving each other's company all the time. The length of time it takes to get annoyed by each other isn't an indicator of the validity of your love at all, it's not even really something to consider honestly. More important how you get over the challenges, you don't develop contempt, and that bailing isn't an option.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Dear god I may actually be cumming right now.

"we see each other as too disposable these days."

Yes, like Ikea furniture.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Yeah I know, I might just suck my own dick.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

I get where you're coming from and I understand marriage is a commitment but that's not how people operate. When people get bored in relationships it's usually the death knell for that relationship.

People thrive when they find someone they could never bored of, someone who constantly challenges them , and keeps thier emotions in constant flux.

I found someone like that.

Marriage is supposed to be built but it's not supposed to be built on " let's make this work because we started it". If that's the case ,that marriage is a Sunk Cost .

"You had me at Elk Tartare"
-Erin Wotherspoon

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

But we all get bored of each other, eventually, if only for a short while. Hell, I get bored of myself sometimes.

That's why most of us need a commitment that goes beyond that, until the other person interests or challenges you again. I know that sounds grim, but it's true.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

I found someone like that.

Someone that you'll never get bored of? How do you know? That's an interesting projection if one can't see into the future.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

It's hard to explain, but when you have a certain connection you just know.

"You had me at Elk Tartare"
-Erin Wotherspoon

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Commitment isn't depressing, it's beautiful. You've got a very unrealistic and immature view of relationships but that doesn't surprise me from someone who has a work husband, board husband, coffee shop husband, etc etc etc

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Why are you laughing at your own sock's post?

You need validation that bad?



"You had me at Elk Tartare"
-Erin Wotherspoon

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

What on earth makes you assume that's my sock?

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

You two sound exactly alike. If you're not the same person then maybe you should be married.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

The analogous stupidity is hard to miss.

"You had me at Elk Tartare"
-Erin Wotherspoon

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Would you care to point me to a post of mine that exudes "stupidity" of any kind?

I'll wait.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Try all of them.

"You had me at Elk Tartare"
-Erin Wotherspoon

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

A blatant non-answer. You're only making the goalposts more accessible to me: if it's all of them, you have no excuse not citing something (anything) specific. We both know the reason you aren't is because you can't.

Here's an actual example: "Repeat after me : You are a window L-I-C-K-E-R"

There's one of your posts, the stupidity of which I pointed out to you at the time, wherein the person repeating your statement as expressed would result in it being addressed to you.

I'm in no mood to have my time wasted by a bimbo, so if you've nothing to contribute and don't hold the conviction to even argue your own assbabble sufficiently you'd be best served removing yourself from my eyes.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

You're coming unglued a little bit. I think I hit a nerve.

When a troll starts writing multiple paragraphs you know you got em.



"You had me at Elk Tartare"
-Erin Wotherspoon

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

False. Coming unglued would be making a statement, backing off from said statement and quickly changing the subject when confronted with FACTS® (all rights reserved).

Here's an example of hitting a nerve: https://filmboards.com/board/p/18985371/permalink/#p18985371

A hostile response to a poster whom wasn't hostile toward you because he laughed at a different poster who was apparently mocking you.

When a troll starts writing multiple paragraphs you know you got em.

What were you saying about pre-arranged arguments in that other thread?

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Whatever sizzles your grits, Bro Namath.

"You had me at Elk Tartare"
-Erin Wotherspoon

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Next.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Should I take your silence as an indication it's "hard to miss" and yet somehow also impossible to identify? Or have you, like everyone else that tries, recognized and quietly conceded your mistake in engaging me?

I accept your apology. If you'd prefer, I'd be more than happy to outline examples of your own stupidity on full display in previous posts. You wanted my attention, you have it.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Lol nice try, strawman. I never said anything about commitment being depressing or implied it.

Interesting that you feel the need to attack me personally, maybe something I said hit too close to home.

It's ok. There are therapy dogs for that.

"You had me at Elk Tartare"
-Erin Wotherspoon

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

But Erica he may tire of you

I'm cumming.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Trust me Vlad, what I have he could never get tired of if you catch my drift.



"You had me at Elk Tartare"
-Erin Wotherspoon

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Been there done that.

I'm cumming.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Yeah because when looking back on his 50 year marriage, every old man says "What kept us together was her pussy." He's not going to care about that shallow shit when you're old. He's probably not even going to care in 10 years. If that's what your marriage is going to be based on you probably shouldn't get married.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Shhhh. She'll learn.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Well, it's not based on sex but let's not act like sex doesn't matter in keeping relationships together.


A lot of marriages end because of dead bedrooms.

"You had me at Elk Tartare"
-Erin Wotherspoon

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

And you're just that good at sex, huh

I'm cumming.

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Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

I think you're close, but it's not really possible to imagine yourself with someone forever, because you're both going to change. What matters is just committing to them regardless. I don't think you even need "true love," whatever that is. You can be right for each other at 25 but change by 40. You can seem "wrong" for each other and still be happy if you just commit. That's literally all that matters. I think commitment is more of a personal issue than something that has to do with the other person at all, though compatibility surely helps (I don't think it's a requirement, we all have lots of facets of our personalities than can work with other people, that's why we all have lots of different kinds of friends). We just don't have to commit these days, with anything, so we don't know how. We don't even commit to having the same stuff (like personal possessions) for years, let alone a person.

ETA: I suppose the luxury we have is to choose the people we commit to now, and surely actually loving them beforehand and choosing them makes the internalization of commitment easier, but if we always think there's a better option or a better match or we have a plan B if it doesn't work out, we're never going to actually do it. Regretting it may happen at times, but you can't let yourself fall into that and actually consider bailing.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Okay the contrast between your username and the content of your posts is the greatest thing I've ever seen on Filmboards.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

If that's the greatest thing you've seen on filmboards, that's a massive idictment on filmboards.

"You had me at Elk Tartare"
-Erin Wotherspoon

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

Filmboards users are terribly boring most of the time.

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Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

C. 50% of the time. 50% of all marriages end in divorce.
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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar, and doesn't.

Re: Does marriage make people unhappy?

That statistic is made up and had been repeated for decades.


It's not 50 percent, Probably closer to 25 percent.

"You had me at Elk Tartare"
-Erin Wotherspoon
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