OK why is sleep so good lately 😴 ??? I feel like I'm a sleeping baby !!! I've been told if you dream during sleep that means you're not in a deep state of sleep … in the deepest state you don't usually dream … but of course I'm stubborn and beg to differ 🤷 !!! The only times I feel I'm in a deep sleep is when I dream but who the hell knows !!! Anyway I need to thank Betsey Johnson's beautiful soul for sending me the most adorable clothes … JLo for sending me the sexiest heels 👠 … Donatella for the bright dresses and most amazing robe with my freaking name on it … it's my favorite … and Too Faced for the new makeup collection 💄 and Jeffree Star … I think I mentioned before and gave you all an essay on why his holy mist face spray was so amazing … I took it down because I realized it was too much !!!Thank you to all my fans for the birthday wishes 🎂 I'm blessed !!! I know it and there's not a day that goes by that I don't count my blessings 🙏 !!! I know I'm not playing in huge arenas with my loud band anymore but I will be honest and say life on the road is hard 😳😳😳 !!! My first three years in the biz and on the road were great but I'll be completely honest and say that after those three tours and the pace I was going … I don't think I ever want to do it again !!! I hated it 😌😌😌 !!! I read and interview a long time ago where Will Smith even said the music industry is a whole different animal compared to the movies !!! I agree it's too much !!!Anyway it's so crazy … I've been to the best hotels and the best restaurants and all I wanted for my birthday was grilled cheese 🧀 and cereal 🥣!!! I am still the same girl I was 20 years ago no doubt !!! I'll share my two new discoveries … hot chocolate 🍫 that tastes like fudge … I swear it's not the fake kind … I took one sip and I swear I went to a different universe !!! Yes … hot chocolate !!! It was that fucking good !!! Also mamas if you have girls … which I don't … my boys want money for Christmas because they like to get their gifts themselves … but if you have girls there is a brand of makeup called Casa Gaga and they have the most exquisite tiny makeup packaging that you will ever see in your life … they have baby tassels that actually are attached to it as well and it's white and gold and adorable !!! OK and why is Kevin Hart so funny ??? I saw his stand up comedy act for the first time this weekend … he is so hilarious I cried 😂🤣😂 !!!I've been sneaking over to the mall to shop … I usually do everything online but I like seeing the Christmas trees 🎄 up and kids waiting in line to take pictures 📷 with Santa 🎅 !!! Embarrassing parents come out of the line with their babies wanting a pic with me 🤦 … so I walk really fast past that line … I do love shopping 🛍️ though … who doesn't ??? Do we dare forget the Diane Sawyer interview in my apartment almost 20 years ago 😌 ??? What was with the "you're in the wrong" approach ??? Geeze … and making me cry ??? Seriously though … I lived in my apartment for a year and never spoke to anyone … my manager put that woman in my home and made me talk to her on national television 📺 and she asked me if I had a shopping problem 🤨 !!! When did I have a problem with shopping ??? When I never left my apartment ???Something I never shared when I had that big break up 💔 years ago was that I couldn't talk afterwards … I never spoke to anyone for a very long time …I was in shocked … pretty lame of my dad and three men to show up at my door when I could hardly speak … two days later they put Diane Sawyer in my living room … they forced me to talk !!! I was a baby …I was almost 22 and didn't understand … but I fucking know now 🖕 !!! She said "a woman or a girl" … I would like to say now "ma'am I'm a catholic slut !!! You wanna join me at a mass and I can serve your husband my certificate on shopping for anonymous players ???" I should spend a thousand dollars 💸 if I want every day of my life and she can kiss my white ass 😘 ..Anyway I'm able to have case 💵 now so I went to an ATM and was so proud of my $300 💵 … and no I'm not embarrassed to share this … well maybe a little … but I'm more embarrassed for my family for condoning the fact that I wasn't allowed to have cash for so long when I worked my little ass off for them … I'm embarrassed for my State of California for permitting my father to have me work as hard as he worked me all those years and never seeing a dime 💰 … I'm embarrassed for all of them and I'm sad for them because I know my value and worth now .. .and they LOST ME !!! Anyway I bought chocolate 🍫… Christmas socks 🧦 … and a bottle of white wine 🍷 with my cash … it was great !!! I felt so independent when I came home … hope you're all having a wonderful Christmas 🎄 ❤️ !!!!