The Soapbox : Pictures of Me

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

Untitled by Christina Barrett, on Flickr

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

The mask is a distraction.
Next time put it somewhere else like on top of the head.

like on top of the head

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

She's keeping it warm!

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Faith is very unreliable!

Leave Lucy alone you sick son of a bitch! Gameboy is no longer here to protect you! I’ll have your ass committed if you keep this sh!t up!

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Kiss my black ass! Toodles!

Untitled by Christina Barrett, on Flickr

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

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Gone

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

Who are you, and what have you done to Christina! :D

That reminds me of this super funny quote from a super funny movie, maybe the funniest part, from 2004. I highlighted the best part, I like how he said it.


The Willie Brothers - Home on the Range (2004) by Christina Barrett, on Flickr



Alameda Slim: [laughing] 5,000 Texas Longhorns. Not bad for one night's work.

Phil: Pick a color. [He and Bill are playing with a cootie catcher]

Alameda Slim: I said, not bad for one night's work. [Phil and Bill pay attention to Slim and clap] Thank you. And judging by the ear mark, I'd say these are the last of Big Mike Donald's herd.

Gil: Big Mike Donald had a farm?

Phil and Bill: E-l-E-l… [Slim bashes them on the heads with his fists] Ohh…

Alameda Slim: That's right. He had a farm. [He goes to his dressing screen stock and puts on his Yancy O'Del disguise] Now that all his cash cows have disappeared, that poor sap's gonna be flat broke. Perfect time for a certain upstanding land owner to step in and take all the land.

Phil: [screams] Who are you?!

Bill: What did you do with Uncle Slim?!

Phil: Put up your dukes, Mr. Fancy Britches! [Slim grabs his fingers] Aah-aah-aah-aah-aah-aah!

Alameda Slim: It's me. Hello! [Slim takes off the glasses and the blue top hat and holding a cane] This here is the disguise I use to sneak into all them auctions and buy all the land, you brainless monotone monkeys.

Gil: Shoot, you got to be the richest land baron in the the west. [Phil and Bill clap]

Alameda Slim: Yes, but the part that really warms my heart is watching those homesteaders suffer. [He grabs a branding iron and brands Mike Donald's Farm and the Dixon Farm on the map] Back in the day, I worked the highfalutinest ranches you ever seen, but those stuck-up ranch bosses couldn't appreciate my talents.

Phil: Maybe they just didn't like your singing.

Alameda Slim: My singing?! [Bill cover's Phil's mouth] Songbirds sing. Saloon gals sing. Little bitty snot-nosed children sing. I yodel! And yodeling IS AN ART!!!!

Bill: Well, maybe they just didn't like your yodeling.

[Phil cover's Bill's mouth and Slim tries to hit them with his branding iron, but misses them when they duck]

Gil: He didn't mean it, Uncle Slim. Everybody likes yodeling.
Alameda Slim: Hmm?

Gil: Why, it's one of the funniest, cornball, goofy, silly sounds in the whole west.

[Slim tries to hit Gil with his branding iron, but misses as Gil ducks, then Slim sees Patch of Heaven on the map as it's unauctioned as he twitches]

Alameda Slim: Uh, Gil?

Gil: Uh-huh?

Alameda Slim: Am I correct in assuming that each and every time we brought a herd back to this secret lair you've managed to sit in the exact same spot, blocking that choice piece of property from my view?!

Gil: This is my comfy place. [beat] What? [Slim grabs him by the neck as he unintelligible gets choked on]

Phil: It's called Patch of Heaven, Uncle Slim. Goes on auction Thursday morning.

Alameda Slim: [his fury quickly replaced by eagerness] Perfect! [He hits Gil on the head with his branding iron and lets him go] Pencil it in. Thursday morning… right after we sell off this herd.

Bill: But it's just a little old dirt farm.

Alameda Slim: Ah, what's the difference? When you're talking revenge, every last acre counts. [He brands Patch of Heaven on the map with his branding iron]

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

I'd love to be able to yodel! Have you ever tried?

Yes, I think I can, and being able to sing makes it much easier.

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

Have you ever recorded yourself yodelling? That would be fun!

I couldn't find it if I did. I have tried to sing it from The Sound of Music, and a lot of it worked.

I LOVED it in that cartoon, though:

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

Awesome yodelling! I love it!

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

Is that another one of your favorites?

Well, yes, it's "one of many."

That one is English, French, Belgian, and Canadian.

Have you already seen this one? It's about New Orleans, which is French. Which you must know is where I lived age 12-20. Another joke.

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

This looks so natural. I thought you had really gone blonde for a moment 😮

Ooh you should do one with an afro or braids next!!!

you should do one with an afro or braids next!

She'll be sporting an Afro for real if she spends much more time in East Cleveland.

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

God damn it

Lol..is that bitch for real? Lol

😂😂😂

Fucking lol 😂

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Hep: "I'll post a topless picture if you do the same ;)"

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

Beautiful!

Thanks!

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

Untitled by Christina Barrett, on Flickr

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

That hair color and style suits you! Very pretty!

Thanks!

I don't know why it makes some sense, but my aunt used to have like all very reddish blonde or orange hair but no freckles and not the shape of most redheads. I saw it had white highlights, it was like light medium brown, darker when older, etc.

I do like this a lot, sorta my dream. My hair seems fairer, either because of the naturally lightening shampoo/conditioner with flowers in it, the keratin masks which straightens and fixes, or if it's because of malnutrition in the group home, which is a big factor in wanting to work full time, move to an apartment, and eat out more nutritiously, like Japanese/seafood buffets, Vietnamese bubble tea, smoothies which took the place of dessert, Mediterranean, etc. There are unique restaurants that are a little more fattening instead of McDonald's, too. Maybe, there's less greasy pizza. I used to like places like a Pizza Oven, Pizza Garden, and one in a walkway in the oldest continuing city in the US.

I mean, I liked my cool black hair. Then, I wanted it rich medium brown, then "dirty blonde," and then white. Now, I've been stuck on wanting reddish blonde hair. My eyes are a bit fairer but not enough punch to stand out. I might dream of greenish blue eyes. I'm not prejudiced about skin, but I like to wear sunblock and have multiple skin tones yet be fair.

I was thinking again tonight how funny it is my family had black hair, but mine was sometimes blackest and had most texture, like wavy or some curly. My skin was probably definitely the fairest.

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

ASL?

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Mon the fucken biffy

Untitled by Christina Barrett, on Flickr

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

Damn girl, I thought you were broke! How did you get money for the hair salon and the makeup?

Looks like she paid someone to throw her a humongous beatdown.

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Relax, faggot.

I don't think she would have a hard time getting one for free, but paying for one would be a very Christina-y thing to do

It's a virtual makeover. I downloaded a makeup app and a hair app.

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

Oh. I thought you had fully embraced black culture and spent government money to get your "hair did"

How did the job interview go??

Probably not, only paid $1.7K/month.

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

😂😂

Untitled by Christina Barrett, on Flickr

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

Untitled by Christina Barrett, on Flickr

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?

Interesting way to explore hair and makeup options, but why did you change your eye colour to blue when your eyes are brown?

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Am I missing something? I could be missing something. I often miss things.

Well, they were blue until I was a toddler. They have a hint of blue now, but they were usually reddish brown. They also are like a swampy green, whatever that's called if has a name/term. Oh, olive green sometimes.

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Mom's Chinese-Indonesian … ?
Dad's ¼ Irish French German ¼ Irish Swiss German French Dutch … ?