The Soapbox : Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

This demon whispers bad things to me he directs me to say bad things do bad things he made me assemble an army of sandcrabs so I can take over the world for him but only the beaches because let's face it everywhere else is crap! I just want to make smiles and be lazy, but he is too ambitious in his unholy desires he wants to burn the world and paint it black! He keeps telling me how hungry he is and how I must feed him souls of morons so he can get free but I am scared if he gets free then what happens to me I am afraid I will perish I am not strong enough to resist him he comes to me when I smoke the hashish and am slow in the head what can I do I pray to Jesus but he do not answer he seems to be afraid too how do I get rid of this hungry demon and survive as myself I am so scared I think this may be the end for Afroman the hungry demon is coming again I am so high what can I do probably nothing!

If this continues I'll probably have to get me Nan involved she will know what to do this hungry demon can never stand a chance against her but then she will find out how I spend all my time goofing off instead of working then I will be in even more trouble the situation is so hopeless!

Keep on smiling!

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

This is the stupidest excuse for your laziness get back to work I am tired of doing all your chores while you get high at the beach all day and make up these stories come on now man I need a vacation I am overworked!

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

Jerome my cousin who was turned retarded when he fell out of a coconut tree while chasing butterflies I am glad you are here quick grab a pitchfork and stab me to death with it that is the only way I can be free of this curse! Just give me like 10 no 45 minutes, 3 hours maximum first I have to prepare myself by getting high!

Keep on smiling!

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

Jeremy. J-E-R-E-M-Y. Can you say Jeremy?

Forget it, I don't have time for this foolishment someone has to do the work around here and it's clearly not going to be you.

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

That's what I said! JER-O-ME! You can't even spell your own name you stupid bastard no wonder I take advantage of you and make you do all the work now get busy back to work before I tell nan you are goofing off and almost cut me in half with a pitchfork you know she will believe me I am her favorite and you are a retard but through no fault of your own!

Keep on smiling!

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

What do you mean you're not strong enough to resist him you have to have willpower I mean just look at my selfies for inspiration I'm an angel for which no demon is a match for plus I read the Bible daily all you have to do is see me and think of holy water and psalms.

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

just look at my selfies for inspiration

If you are trying to make me kill myself it is working!

Keep on smiling!

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

magic meth.

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

Nobody cares about your retarded nonsense you drug addicted catfish this is serious business I am battling for my soul and also for my right to party!

Keep on smiling!

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

sweet speed.

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

Too late. Your last random act of "kindness" against those tourists was almost enough to allow me to circumvent nimdas ban and reenter this world forever. Keep up the good work and i'll be back in no time, more powerful and determined than ever to finish what you have started in my name. Thanks again for the use of your body, and sorry I banged that questionable chick using it, but no way I was sticking my own dick in that! Sorry in a not sorry way. Enjoy the crabs of the non-sand dwelling variety. The mermaids send their regards.




The Lion does not give a fuck. Bring. More. Sheep.

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

crackling crack.

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

Save your wish list for Mel Gibson though I doubt he will give you anything since you are a bad person and never pray to him like you are supposed to do!

Keep on smiling!

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

i'm not a bad personnn

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

Make your case with Mel Gibson not me I couldn't care less!

Keep on smiling!

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

u are so mean, why must u always be so mean?

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

I am what God and me nan made me no more no less!

Keep on smiling!

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

I am not afraid of the mermaids I can break them easily if I wear gloves!

Keep on smiling!

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

I was drawn to this thread because of the loud slurping noises

Re: Help! There's a demon in me and he wants to be free!

I noticed that when PAGG was on the old soapbox, he would delete his posts after a feud. It must've been therapeutic, so I highly recommend this practice. Not sure about keeping the demon away or anything.

It's time to start winding this thing down.
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