The Watercooler : Is this a good clip of a story?

Is this a good clip of a story?

I am thinking of a little taste of a Future Story….

"I pulled out a gun on my 17 year old Stepson, ready to shoot him as part of the $50,000 Contract I had been hired as a Hitman to kill him. I REALLY needed that $50,000 to pay my Gambling debts."

Tyler, his eyes full of panic and fear said scared,"Please! I've done nothing but act like a loving Son to you and treat you like a Biological Father despite knowing you are not my Biological Father! Please, Dad, don't do it!"

Tyler was right. He was a good Stepson, always respectful to me and obedient, and even loving to me and even when I had pulled a gun on him, planning to shoot him, still called me Dad like he had done so many countless times instead of cussing me out like many Stepsons would have done in his position. I couldn't go through with it. I put the gun down and told Tyler to leave the house and go see a movie or something before I changed my mind. Internally, I already made the decision to NOT shoot him. Tyler shakily left, the obedient Stepson he always was…..

Post deleted

This message has been deleted.

Re: Is this a good clip of a story?