The Soapbox : I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Fuck I hate my life. Kill me now. But kill me by asking me the most boring, stupid questions you can think of. I deserve no mercy. I am pond scum.

I live. I die. I live again.

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Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Why what?

I live. I die. I live again.

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Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA



I live. I die. I live again.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

You're in Florida? Gross. Get out of my state, cornboy.

Hark! Harold the angel sings.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

While I’m here, it’s my state. I run this bitch, yo.

I live. I die. I live again.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Are you and rocket having a meet up?

Come in to my parlor, said the spider to the fly.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

No. I'd be too worried that he'd bring his sawed-off pogo stick to ever meet up with him.

Hark! Harold the angel sings.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Lmao Kay.

Come in to my parlor, said the spider to the fly.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

You expect me to go through anywhere in Florida without packing any heat? I need to have my piece on me at all times just in case I get attacked by one of those Floridamen I hear so much about.

I live. I die. I live again.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Safest way to escape a Florida man is to blend in. Run backwards on the highway in a flamingo onesie or some shit. Florida men will laugh in the face of your heat. They eat heat for breakfast.

Hark! Harold the angel sings.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Corn :on the cob, not on the cob, creamed?

Arm or leg: if you had to live without one, which would it be and why?

Would you rather have to dance everywhere or audibly fart everytime you talked? *if your voice gets louder so do the farts

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA




Also, I find that question about corn to be highly offensive. I am greatly triggered. Just because I’m an Ohioan doesn’t mean I can answer any questions about corn.

I live. I die. I live again.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

You know what?! I was like, i shouldn't even ask him questions because he always ignores me or says something awful. But i went against my gut and here we are!!

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

You should’ve known better than to ask me a corn related question. It’s bad enough I have to deal with Saucy Jacky’s Uber racist ass mocking corn and those who live off the stuff now I got you thinking you’re funny by bringing up a very touchy subject!

And it’s on the cob, damn it! Always on the cob! Any other way is sacrilegious.

I live. I die. I live again.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have done it. I was drawn in by that shock value type of posting. It's an easy way to get responses but it isn't honorable. I respect your corn culture, fam

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Would you rather have to dance everywhere or audibly fart everytime you talked? *if your voice gets louder so do the farts


I hope he chooses the farts. I wouldn't wish a life of samba on anyone.

R. I. P. FFS (1975-2021)
Murdered by a Teutonic catfish

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

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Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Oh. So you don’t wanna hang out? Good thing I wasn’t going to ask anyway!!!

I live. I die. I live again.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Is florida really america's wang?

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Yes. It’s a festering shit hole home to the worst America has to offer. Avoid at all costs.

I live. I die. I live again.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Is it really better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?

Alba gu bràth

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Well, personally speaking, it’s better to have never loved at all. Losing someone you love is shit. Even if it’s a necessary experience that allows one to gain strength, I’d rather not have to go through it again.

And so I will spend the rest of my days not loving anyone. I will die alone. It is my destiny.

I live. I die. I live again.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Florida the flaccid penis part or Florida the fuckin' lower Alabama part?

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

The flaccid penis part. But near the base of the shaft.

I live. I die. I live again.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

I wanna see their beaches. With my luck, I would end up somewhere far from a beach.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

I hereby ban you all from speaking of corn and corn-like substances in my presence. If you are caught communicating about corn then you will banned permanently.

Luckily Nimda is also a fellow corny boy like me and doesn’t appreciate the way you people talk of such a wonderful food item. With Nimda on my side, none of you stand a chance.

I live. I die. I live again.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Why are you there?

If we take the time to see with the heart and not with the mind, we shall see that we are surrounded completely by angels ~ Carlos Santana

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Have you caught a whiff of a womans feet while in florida?

I can smell your feet through your shoes

I'm WildManWizard

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

How do you go about eating a muffin?

Proudly offering too-close encounters since 1977.

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Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

You're welcome

Proudly offering too-close encounters since 1977.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Start with the paper then work from there.

I live. I die. I live again.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

You shouldn't eat the paper… it doubles as a condom in a pinch. Fold it neatly and keep it in your wallet.

Proudly offering too-close encounters since 1977.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

You ain't seen nuthin till you're down on her muffin

If we take the time to see with the heart and not with the mind, we shall see that we are surrounded completely by angels ~ Carlos Santana

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Spicy, Nettie!

Hark! Harold the angel sings.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Aerosmith ftw!!!!

I live. I die. I live again.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA



Let's go Brandon!

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

That's the truth, the whole truth, and muffin but the truth

Proudly offering too-close encounters since 1977.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Is it unethical to use a stolen credit card (not physically stolen, only the data taken from a site on the dark web) to get free trials of streaming services and cancel before it is ever charged? Assume that the owner of the credit card would never have taken advantage of these free trials.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

Yes it is.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

The hell you go there for anyways?

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

I went down to sow my oats. Fucked every girl in Florida. With my superior genetics mixed in with the genetics of the typical Floridawoman, I will create a race of superior beings in my image. They will be methed-up superheroes capable of solving the most basic mathematical problems. They will be able to decern* whether or not it's ok to charge into a Macy's, grab the nearest Olaf plushie, and fuck its brains out while surrounded by onlookers. They will be able to make the best meth this country has seen since Heisenberg!

We will be the superior race! We will dominate! Sieg heil! Sieg heil!

I live. I die. I live again.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

You sure you weren't born there? I'd check your lineage.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

I was born in a far worse corner of the Earth… West Virginia.

I live. I die. I live again.

Re: I’m stuck in Florida for another day! AMA

How long you been in Florida did you say? Give it time. If the alligators don't eat you the fucking tourists will.
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