The Spectacular Now : Disturbing

Did anyone else find their relationship a little disturbing? The fact that their whole relationship was surrounded by alcohol and how she went back to him after the accident. I just thought it was a little twisted and disturbing

Not disturbing but its sort of the point, its supposed to be that way.

It's what makes it a realistic first boyfriend experience for a girl whose never had one. Also, she's sort of reliving her experience with her father, a man who died of addiction, trying to save him, I think.

Yes, it was sad. She was desperate to keep him since she had lost her virginity to him. She was almost killed when he pushed her out of the car, but yet she still wanted the relationship so badly. I could relate though, unfortunately, and I'm sure many other women and girls can as well. Hopefully, most of us grow beyond that and learn to love ourselves and only then can we seek healthy relationships.
Dini

Yes, Dini0519, I can also relate. Took me quite a while to grow past it as I married a man who was verbally and physically abusive to me mainly because I'd fooled around with him during our engagement (during which time he became abusive) and felt like my bed had been made and I needed to stick it out.

I was upset that they ended up together and then finding out that the book ended up with him staying broken up with her and staying an alcoholic made me wish I'd read the book and not seen the movie.

Actually, think I'll read the book now.
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Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. ;)

I may read the book as well. Thanks for such a thoughtful response.
Dini

How do you know they end up together in the movie? It is completely up for interpretation. When we see Aimee at school, she looks like she has completely changed (now wears make up/etc.), it looks like she has moved on, and the look on her face does NOT make it seem like she is happy to see Sutter.

Also How do you know Aimee is a virgin?? I certainly don't remember hearing that in the movie, and even Roger Ebert says specifically in his review that neither Sutter or Aimee are virgins. Everything about the entire sex scene makes you think Aimee has at least some experience. You really missed the point of the movie if you think the only reason Aimee loved Sutter was because he took her virginity.

We really DON'T know if they end up together. You are right. I assumed she was a virgin because she said she'd never really had a bf. She certainly seemed less experienced than Sutter. The point is, she was desperate for a relationship for at least part of the movie. It was a high point when she went on the bus without him, toward her dreams and her plans.

Dini

She wasn't some desperate vulnerable girl that Sutter just preyed on. There relationship started small and grew, it had its ups and its downs. The relationship wasn't all rainbows and unicorns, like all real life relationships are, but Sutter wasn't just using and abusing this poor helpless girl like you guys are making it out to be. They both learned a lot from each other.

You say a high point of the movie was when she went toward her dreams without him, you do remember that it was Sutter who convinced her in the first place she could go to college? She was just going to stay at home after high school and pick up after her crap mother until Sutter convinced her otherwise. Both Sutter and Aimee gained experience and became better people because of their relationship.

Sutter had no business pursuing Aimee and his friend even called him on it multiple times. He had too much social advantage over her making it like an 18 year old dating a 12 year old. Also, he knew Aimee would validate anything he did so he used her to feel better about his life. Just awful.

What part of the sex scene leads you to believe that Aimee is not a virgin ? In the book Aimee tells Stutter that she's been with another guy before him. Is that in the movie ?

I thought she was a virgin as well, considering she said she never had a boyfriend before when they were walking through the trees at that party. And while, obviously, people don't exactly have to be dating to have sex, she didn't seem like the type of girl to just have a fling either.

Mind you, I have only watched the film.

Also, the "go slow" line made me think she was a virgin.

Yes, that seemed pretty obvious.

Really? Obvious?

Well, I thought it's obvious that from her numerous previous sexual escapades, she had come to the conclusion that she preferred slow sex.
How about that?
She only had one boyfriend before. So just imagine how much sex she got, being always single and cute. She just knows her preferences well by now.

Except there's this thing called *plausibility* based on story context that you seem to ignore. Is that intentional?

We needn't hear more than 3 lines from the character to know she's a 12 year old trapped in a 20 year old's body, which is the most offensive element of the film.




Is this to be an empathy test?

The DVD has a deleted scene where Aimee explains she is not a virgin but that the bloke had his way and fled and that Sutter is therefore a great improvement

the book is probably more realistic but i needed this movie ending. it would've been too bitter for me and it would've tarnished the great feelings i had watching this or in the case of the book, reading it up until that point. also, don't compare your abusive husband to this guy. all he did the whole relationship was boost her self esteem. he just freaked out at the end when he met his dad. realistically, since he's an alcoholic, we can say that he'll become an abuser later but this is a movie and we can only discuss what has already happened.

it was a healthy relationship, up until that point and it was understandable because one of his life long ideas have just been crushed by seeing his father for what he really is. he was extremely supportive of her for their entire relationship. everything he said and did it was to boost up her self esteem and help her free herself from those who kept her down. the only bad thing he did was freak the *beep* out and told her to get out of his car. he didn't cause that accident. the women here are making him out to be some kind of abuser when he is actually a really good boyfriend. the only thing disturbing about him was his alcoholism and he was only 18. he's all good intentions now but he won't be for long if he doesn't stop drinking. ultimately, in the end it is hinted that he would stop drinking. all we can hope for is to be better in the future. no one knows what he'll do tomorrow.

..this movie wasn't good at all.. and yes very disturbing it also sends a horrible message.

- a drunk alcoholic goes after a young teen girl and she has no self esteem or self respect so she gives him a chance and thinks she knows what love is. He than yells at her, gets her to swear, and gets her to drink and sleep with him, than pushes her away, and causes her to be hit by a car, pathetic! .

Mean while we all know he still has feelings for his ex too. He was a joke and so selfish.

this is one of the worst movies of the year.

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a drunk alcoholic goes after a young teen girl and she has no self esteem or self respect so she gives him a chance and thinks she knows what love is. He than yells at her, gets her to swear, and gets her to drink and sleep with him, than pushes him away, and causes her to be hit by a car, pathetic! .

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Aimee was an intelligent teenager. He gets her to swear? She wasn't mentally challenged and they were the same age. Aimee had control of what she did and didn't do. She choose to swear. She choose to drink. She wanted to sleep with Sutter, and so she did. Sutter didn't cause her to be hit by a car. It was an accident.

Sutter and Aimee both benefited, learned, and grew because they were a couple. Aimee never would have gone to college if it hadn't been for Sutter. He gave her the courage and the self-esteem to go.

You completely misunderstood the entire movie.

There was nothing disburbing about Sutter and Aimee as a couple. They learned from each other. Sutter and Aimee grew as individuals because they were in a committed relationship. Aimee drank more than she would have if she had not been with Sutter. She was trying new things, testing her own limits, doing things that healthy teenagers do to broaded their life experiences.

Sutter didn't make Aimee do anything. Aimee did what she wanted to do because it made her feel alive, made her feel a part of Sutter, and she was in love with him.

I do. I was expecting her to be a good influence on him NOT him being a bad influence on her. Sutter had a lot of stuff he needed to work on and Aimee loved him so much and kind of took on his bad habits herself. Definitely not healthy but it's pretty realistic, especially with teenagers.

honey badger don't care.

I agree the relationship was broken. It reminded me of battered person syndrome.


We don't know all of the details of her background either. Was the mother an abuser? We know the father died, but the rest of her character is not fleshed out.

Was she seeking a dominant person to attach herself to? The relationship was disturbing for certain.

That ending in the book in definitely too bleak for a movie designed to be "light entertainment".

I think it was realistic. So many relationships operate that way. Aimee was the nice girl next door. She had little to no experience with dating, and probably had some insecurities of her own. During their first party, she told him that "guys don't look at me that way," and she didn't believe she was attractive. So, at times she adjusted herself to fit his personality, and she gave more of herself in the relationship to maintain their dynamic.

Honestly, I probably would have advised her to rethink the relationship, but fortunately, in this situation, it worked out okay. Many times it doesn't and someone ends up hurtfor good. Thankfully, he wasn't really a bad guy (just lost), and hopefully in real life a guy like Sutter would go to great lengths to rebuild the trust and make amends for the ringer he put her through.

So was it twisted? A bit. But I can't help but focus in on the end result, and I think they both eventually got what they wanted. I mean, who hasn't put their parents through copious amounts of stress during their adolescence? The hope is that children grow up, realize their wrongs, and make peace with the very parents who put up with all of their crap. Is it right? No. But it happens.

Life is disturbing, which makes ppl. run away or into addictions, and very few movies catch the realization of what we can do and who we can do it with without pathos, clichs or lies. This one delivers the most authentic script of any Hollywood movie I've seen in long time, and there's no lack of confidence in the direction and performances either. Bravo!

If you dag the movie and can imagine the characters a bit older in a different setting, watch Susanne Bier's superb After the Wedding, the 20-years-later version of what-if-it-didn't-work-out-between-them.

You are right bout one thing for sure. The girl played an excellent character. Him too for the immature little boy that he portrayed. There are a lot of opinions on this message board so I'm not going to try and piss a lot of people off by saying they didn't get it or for taking someone's side. I was a lot like that kid in the fact that it took me 40 years to grow up and it was a heroin addiction that helped to stunt my growth into a responsible adult. I became worldly. A lot of addicts do. I had a few women that took care of me or I should say tried to take care of me, because all we do as addicts are drag people down with us or we try to destroy everything good around us. That kid in this movie was worldly in a way. he helped Amy grow sexually and she learned some things from him, but I dare say that I hope he was serious about doing the right thing if those were his intentions when he caught up to her. I really liked that girl and if that guy was one of my friends I would've been so mad at him for hurting her again and again. Girls like her will forgive over and over and it sucks watching someone tear them down even as some poster put earlier that they let it happen. Love is a hard emotion to resist. Ask someone who has had a few bad breakups. They seem to hurt forever. We didn't get to see where that movie went, but dollars to donuts that girl takes him back and he crashes and burns a few more times before he gets his life in order and just by her loving him she gets hurt in the process. Look at the boys mother. She still looks hurt even after being away from his father all these years. It was a decent movie and that part where he yelled at her to get out of the car and she got whacked, I thought I was going to die when that happened. Talk about bad things. That just about blew me away how quick and awful that was.

Obviously there is a split in opinions here, but what hasn't been mentioned (about the accident in particualr), is the fact Sutter has realised he is no good for Aimee. He has just met his father, who is exactly the man his mum wanted to protect him from, and as we know Sutters mum has said to him 'you remind me of your father', and this anguish of being like him is relayed by the ending where Sutter breaks down crying, not wanting to be like his dad. So everyone saying, how could Aimee want Sutter back after the accident, Sutter was not being horrible, he wanted to protect her from himself and what he thought he was like. Coupled with the fact emotions were high from the meeting also fuelled by alcohol, saw it all build up within him, and obviously the fact Aimee got hit by car is not his fault.

SPOILERS:

The deleted scenes highlight that Aimee was not a virgin. She details that she actually lost it to a 20 year old when she was 14 years old.

Also, I found the constant, blatant, and bold drinking to be exceptionally upsetting. Another great thing about the special features on the blu ray is that includes several deleted scenes that highlight a lot of the consequences of Sutter's and Aimee's excessive drinking.

All we got in the theatrical cut was Cassidy's comment, 'Have you turned her into a lush yet?' There was material that they shot that could have easily expounded upon that.

Still a good film though.

Anyone who has worked with addicts or treated adolescent (or adult for that matter) psych patients will tell you that it's a relationship as old as time, the addict and the co-dependent, and part of the reason why our prisons/courts will never be short of work. The only problem is the relationship in real life reads more like an episode of Cops or Shameless than a romantic tryst movie. If these characters were real she would sabotage every good relationship and end up with another addict or abuser always threatening to leave and he would fall deeper and deeper into addiction until 12-step or inpatient. It's a movie though and doesn't have to be real I guess.

To everyone losing their *beep* over this awesome flick.
One, ITS A MOVIE, and a STORY, so is the book (apparently).
I am a 22 turning 23 year old male, so maybe my thoughts are flawed, and probably are, and I have decades to learnbut I felt the movie was a decent tale of a kid who had to find himself and realize he can't block out hurt, nor happiness, which he more than explained near the end. That, that was what he did.

He spends a lot of the film constantly telling people to pursue their dreams but when it comes to him actually seizing his own, he can't. He's too afraid of the commitment and idea of failure. Something the consequences of losing his dad caused him.

If him being a normal fractured 18 year old who drinks to block out pain makes him an abusive teenagerfine.

Even Aimee could tell he was in deep pain, and despite the fact that he yelled at her near the end, she still cared to withstand the anger and yelling and try to help him.

He even freaks out when she gets hit, but she's fine with it. You know why? ACCIDENTS HAPPEN. Life sucks, you just suck it up and deal with it, or let the pain and suckiness kill you. So She took whatever pain she felt and used the motivation to pursue what she internally promised him that she would seize in the first place.
This film is beautiful. Its about sorrow, real life problems, and growth, and seeing one fractured person who's put himself through pain, end up ironically needing a symbol(Aimee) of innocence to bring him back.
I loved the ambiguous ending. It left you to come up with your own ending in a sense. And judging by her expression. (my own interpretation), "you finally got the balls?", they might pursue another journey together.

I'll own this indefinitely on blu-ray. It earned its way in my libaray. And I'm quite picky.

Shailainne has once again proved herself to have some acting ability. Great in Descendants, and now great in this. And two different characters.

THOSE ARE MY THOUGHTS :).

I'm 40, and I agree with your post. People seem to miss the fact he made good (or at least realised HOW he needed to change). For the whole, I think a person who has had an alcoholic and abusive father is in the best position to judge this film, because only they know the deep rooted effect that has. Your review is spot on. Except for her reaction at the end, that was ambiguous to say the least. I really liked this film, and glad it ended the way it did. Art (after all) should disturb the comfortable, and comfort the disturbed.

I agree! The beginning was cute and I saw a whole bunch of comments from people saying they loved it so I really tried to like it as the movie went on, but it was just really disturbing to me. She's so desperate to be wanted and to make their relationship work that she can't see that he's just not as interested as she is. You can tell through like the whole movie that he's still hung up on his ex. He causes her to get hit by a car and she's just immediately cool with forgetting about it and acting like it never happened. He was drunk all the time! And she started drinking because of him. Someone in another comment said that he was making mistakes and you shouldn't break up with someone for that.someone can only mess up so much before you need to see that maybe their not good for you. That doesn't mean that they're a bad person or that they can never change, it just means that maybe you don't belong together. She was making her mother's same mistakes. The only good thing he did for her really was get her to stand up to her mom and go to college. People are saying that it's so realistic and it is. And that's really sad. I hope that she does well at college and makes a good life for herself and I hope that he puts his life together.

I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THIS MOVIE

Well, the director's commentary on the DVD makes it clear that he considered the relationship doomed, and that Aimee would grow out of it. Ponsoldt imagined that in ten years Aimee would look back at Sutter and wonder how she could let herself be used like that.

This is a film about just one part of Aimee's and Sutter's lives. It's about how as teenagers we all make mistakes, but these are what force us to grow. Nobody should take this relationship as an indication of the adults Aimee and Sutter will be, or that they will be together forever in a twisted co-dependent relationship. In fact, both do learn from the relationship and grow, even though overall it's just not healthy for either one of them.

On the path to finding their true love, most people go through bad relationships like this. Sometimes it's the only way you can be ready for true love when it finally comes along.

Listen, I sat there shocked as hell.

You tell a guy you love him, and he tells you no you don't. He kicks it back in your face actually. Strike one. He then orders you out of his car after you nearly get into an accidentin the middle of the night, a long way from home, when you have no money since you helped him pick up the tab his philandering father left two teenagers to settle, no visible cell phone, you're a young girl.did I mention you were hours away from homeStrike 10. AND THEN!!! You actually do get hit by a truck after you get out of his car and turn around to tell him that you're sorry.. Strike infinity.

Seriously, when she just hugged him at the hospital, I thought to myselfshe has amnesia. She must have amnesia. Wow. Just wow. I loved the movie. It was very real. But yes, it was quote disturbing.

Sutter is the perfect example of self-destruction. Charming, witty, intelligentnot a bad guybut he doesn't love himself. And as such he has a very tough time accepting it from others. When he drove past the bus stop and watched her calling his cellmy heart broke.

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The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love..

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Disturbing?
It's so silly how people overuse and misuse this word.