Red Dawn : 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

1. Mi-24 Hind > AK-47
2. Can you actually survive multiple hits to the torso from a 12.7mm Gatling gun (or at least till someone can join you at your side and hold you until you die).
3. If your friend is dying, don't try to provide any first aid--just talk to them until they die.
4. Make sure to hide grenades under your dead friend's when your country is invaded.

"Toto, I've [got] a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

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Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

6. When the "enemy" drops food in the middle of the road...it's a trap! Don't take it, dummy.

_
Every person that served can be called a veteran, but not every veteran can be called a Marine.

Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

7. If you slaughter 100s of highly trained and well armed soldiers with a ragtag group of high school students defying the odds and taking heroic risks to save your friends and neighbors while diminishing the enemies morale, but are eating beans every day, you should never "think you're tough".

Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

8. Some movies from the 1980s should remain in the 1980s, don't try to remake them years later.

"Toto, I've [got] a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

9. You can fire an RPG at a helicopter and do no damage

Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

C Thomas Howell should never be allowed to cry in a movie.

Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

C. Thomas Howell should never be allowed in front of a camera.

Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

10. Jed is the "honcho sport"

11. For some reason being the High School senior class President gives you the authority to propose that you surrender to an invading army occupying your town.

12. If you have two granddaughters it is better to give them to a group of boys fighting for survival in the mountains than hide them in your house.

13. Soviet paratroopers will waste a lot of ammunition shooting up a High School of unarmed kids once they arrive.

14. Upon seeing two High School boys duck behind the front dashboard of their car a Soviet soldier will just shoot up the engine block and won't actually go inside the car to kill them.

Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

15. Even after contacting them on several occasions, tracking ten people and 4 horses that build daily campfires is apparently VERY tough.

Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

16. Superfly is a commie.

Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

When you realize that the only thing between America standing or falling is a strong guerrilla presence, it's best when confronted by a Russian Hind, to stand out in the open so you are easily killed in some bizarre display of heroism, effectively weakening your unit.

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Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

17. Land is so scarce in Colorado that the Russians have to co-locate all their military assets, making them easy targets.

18. A Russian jet pilot who watches someone drop a grenade in the cockpit will sit still and wait for the grenade to explode.

19. Russian soldiers who know there is an insurgent force attacking them in small numbers will not be suspicious when they see people acting suspiciously.

20. Russian wholesale grocers like to pack a variety of groceries in the same box.

21. If you shoot twice, they'll know where you are, but campfires, vehicles, and horses will evade detection.

22. When you're loading up on survival supplies, make sure you bring a football, but no more than one radio.

23. The Boy Scouts is a paramilitary organization.

24. Urine makes a good engine coolant.

25. If your high-school is attacked, your brother who just dropped you off will somehow know there was an attack and will come back and get you.

26. Russian paratroopers put their weapons in a barrel and jump unarmed into enemy territory.

27. After an invasion, the street sweepers will no longer be operating and the streets will fill up with debris.

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Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

28. Friendly jets will carpet bomb empty spaces in the middle of no where several miles behind enemy lines.

29. A single friendly tank will infiltrate occupied territory, and fire upon two enemy tanks for several minutes without any of them actually hitting anything.

30. Tanks will rotate their turrets as often as possible especially when there's nothing to aim at.

31. High-shool rebels will take the time to dig perfectly square holes and create covers to match instead of hiding in bushes 50 meters further away.

32. Invading armies hand out detailed information about their armored convoys to anyone interested.

33. If one of you're friends get captured and in turn tortured and forced to swallow a tracking device, your only option is to kill him.

34. If you are said friend from point 33, you will by no means notify anyone that you were forced to swallow a tracking device.

35. The rule 'what goes in must come out' doesn't apply for tracking devices.

Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn


29. A single friendly tank will infiltrate occupied territory, and fire upon two enemy tanks for several minutes without any of them actually hitting anything.


Let's put you in the gunner's seat of one of the tanks at that range with the enemy tank in a hull-down defilade position and see how well you do.


30. Tanks will rotate their turrets as often as possible especially when there's nothing to aim at.


Depending on the tactical situation, that can be well within US Army Armor doctrine, allowing the gunner with telescopic and thermal (infrared) sights to detect threats that the tank commander might not detect with the naked eye or less powerful binoculars.

MadTom
Major, Armor, US Army (Retired)

Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn


Let's put you in the gunner's seat of one of the tanks at that range with the enemy tank in a hull-down defilade position and see how well you do.


Fair point, let's just focus on a tank being alone behind enemy lines.


Depending on the tactical situation, that can be well within US Army Armor doctrine, allowing the gunner with telescopic and thermal (infrared) sights to detect threats that the tank commander might not detect with the naked eye or less powerful binoculars.


Also a fair point, although I'm pretty sure driving around down town in a secure area doesn't qualify for this.

Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

Tom, you must be new. These threads are made for comedy relief. Or, in the immortal words of Sargent Hulka: "Lighten up, Francis!!"

I don't love her.. She kicked me in the face!!

Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

36. When a father tells his sons not to come back to town just make sure he yells out at the end to " Avenge Me!" thus putting their sons back in harms way

37. when stocking up at the local gun store after an attack make sure you grab every bit of ammo you can get not knowing it is compatible with the firearms you are taking

38. before number 37 be sure and grab a box of arrows

Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

40. When your a high school history teacher, ignore every bit of common sense, and walk straight up to a foreign speaking soldier who is armed who just parachuted in, he wont shoot you
41. Jed doesn't know when to believe your mouth.
42. When invading the USA, dropping troops into Calumet CO. is the best drop zone
43. High school kids use toilet paper, not leaves
44. Peeing in the radiator will suffice
45. When your high school is invaded, big brother Jed willbbe there in mere seconds
46. A lone white girl walking out of a building didn't plant a bomb, but, she will bring her friends right back
47. Soviet tanks take gasoline
48. Calumet is deep fortunate to have a Shepard like the mayor
49. Picking up headphones in the mountains screaming for God to help u will bring reinforcements
50. Indians made arrows from steel
51. Swallowing a bug will bring the troops to u, and no danger of indigestion
52. Sending Daryl into town under Soviet occupation to visit Dad is no cause for alarm maybe he was bugged or he didn't talk
53. Jed never heard of the Geneva convention
54. Wolverines can hide in the mountains until they don't hear jet engines no more
55. The chair is against the wall
56. John has a long moustache
57. U don't slaughter the pig if he saw the fox eat your chickens
58. Colonel Bella and his man learned English instantly
59. Jed doesn't like it when people cry
60. When u see Soviet tanks and troops blocking the road, and they start shooting, merely driving off the road just a little bit will make them forget u, let alone come after u
61. When the enemy drops food boxes on the road, no danger exists of them being bugged or sending gunships after u
62. Killing 1 wolverine counts as 12 dead
63. Hate and anger keeps Robert warm
64. The early bird gets the worm
65. Col. Andrew Tanner met his 80 year old feisty wife in the closet at a party
66. Killing Soviet troops will make Jed and Matt's mom real proud
67. You can't survive on olives and rice crispies

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68. Dallas is not the capital of Texas, Houston is.
69. Jed never heard of the Geneva Convention.
70. No one but Erica goes to the Freedom Rock in the years ahead.
71. Jed tells you to hold your crying back in, yet he still does it himself. *beep* hypocrite.
72. Jed commits the Fallacy of the Talking Villain. He could've just shot that leader, but needed to say something, leading him to getting shot first and dying.
73. Don't ask Erica to wash pots and pans.
74. America is a whorehouse. (I'll admit that)
75. They Can Have My Gun when they pry it from my cold dead hands.

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76. When a bunch of kids drive into my store on the side of the highway telling me the town is under attack. I'm just going to let them in the store and give them all the weapons in the store.

77. During the start of the invasion. There's only one Huey gunship flying around attacking the enemy.

78. There's only going to be one group of people in the mountains fighting guerrilla warfare against the enemy. There's going to be no other resistance in those mountains fighting the enemy. Only the Wolverines are fighting.

79. Robert should have aimed and fired his RPG at the tail of the Hind helicopter and not at the open window. It would have brought the Hind down.

80. If you need to shoot and kill a traitor. Robert is your man.

81. This movie is a conservative Republican's wet dream.

82. When a big bad ass Russian just shot your brother and now he's hunting you. You sneak up behind him and you get the drop on him. All you have to do is shoot him. But Jed will tell that Russian "You lose." Giving that Russian time to turn around. So he and you can have a shoot out.

83. If Jed uses his grandfather's revolver pistol to kill you. He really hated you and wanted you to die.

Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn


76. When a bunch of kids drive into my store on the side of the highway telling me the town is under attack. I'm just going to let them in the store and give them all the weapons in the store.


I would if one of the kids was my own son, which Robert was to the store owner.

Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

Yes, one of the kids is yelling "Dad!" to the store owner. Of course, he was going to let them take the stuff. I had no problem with that. And if I had been with them, I would've made sure to get toilet paper too because I wasn't going to use leaves either.

Re: 1,001 Things Learned From Watching Red Dawn

84. You don't kill your pig because he saw the fox entering your barnyard stealing your chickens.
85. Europe decides to sit this one out because twice in once century was enough. Uncle *beep*
86. When you are about to die by firing squad, start singing America the Beautiful, like it is going to help your ass.
87. All wars end.
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