Se7en : Movies with zero comic relief

Movies with zero comic relief

What are some movies that remain bleak throughout? I'd say Se7en is one. Sure we have that scene in the apartment ("Just a soothing, relaxing, vibrating home huh?") but I wouldn't say it's all that funny - nor the part where Mills briefly talks about shaving off a nipple.

Anyway you get the idea. Here are some movies without comic relief:

- Se7en
- John Carpenter's The Thing
- Alien
- Irreversible
- Requiem for a Dream
- Blade Runner

Your turn.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

This movie has plenty of comic relief, courtesy of Detective Mills.

"Just cuz the *beep* got a library card, don't make him Yoda."

-the whole, "do you know you're crazy?" rant

just a couple examples...

-You just can't go around killing people!
-Why?

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

And let's not forget the part where he is cursing Dante and then proceeds to read it anyway. "Fückin' Dante... poetry-writing fagg0t! Piece of *beep* motherfücker!" And hiding the books in his desk so that Somerset doesn't get to know that he followed his advice.
Those weren't laughing out loud moments but I had to chuckle.

Anyway, I think Pan's Labyrinth qualifies for your list.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

got 2 words for OP

Michael Haneke!!

pwned!!!

_______
"if seagal was thinner this could have been a theatrical product."

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Re: Movies with zero comic relief

@puschit-1 And let's not forget the part where he is cursing Dante and then proceeds to read it anyway.
Not exactly. He proceeds to read the Cliff's Notes of Dante and the other books - he needs Cliff's Notes to explain the books for him because he had trouble reading them.

And hiding the books in his desk so that Somerset doesn't get to know that he followed his advice.
Mills hides the books so that Somerset doesn't get to know that Mills was using Cliff's Notes.

This leads to another funny moment later on at Mills' apartment:
Mills: Yeah, yeah, yeah, like in, uh, The Parson's Tale and uh, Dante.
Somerset: You read them?
Mills: Yeah. Well, parts.

In other words, Mills hadn't read them, he just read the Cliff's Notes, but he didn't want to admit that to Somerset.

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Re: Movies with zero comic relief

And what about the scene where Mills is talking about how nuts the killer is and says "he's probably wearing his grandma's panties and rubbing himself with peanut butter". I laughed so hard at this line I loved it!

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Re: Movies with zero comic relief

Two other funny parts from the movie.

California's line from the helicopter after he sees Mills shoot John Doe: "Somebody call somebody!"

And one from Mills: He's [John Doe] fvcking with us. [bends over, puts his hands on sofa armrest] See this? This is us.

There's no "I" in team, but there is an "m" and an "e."

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

-Woody Allen's Sleeper
-Memento

"Stupidity makes me angry"
-Alfred Hitchcock

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

Sure there was some funny bits in Memento. From the top of my head:

-Scene where it's revealed the hotel clerk has been renting Leonard extra rooms
-When Leonard tells Natalie he should get some more freaky tatoos
-When Teddy tries to trade cars with Leonard
-When Leonard is being chased by Dodd and then forgets why he is running

There's definitely more, but as a good film noir, it keeps it balanced. LA Confidential on the other hand, another noir I watched recently seemed to have less comic relief, which of course wasn't a bad thing.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

Ah, come on...let's not forget:

"The Marquis de Shar-day."

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

No humor in 'Primer' at all.

Anyway, just want to add I laugh at Brad Pitt's performance in this because his mannerisms remind me of his characters in Thirteen Monkeys and Snatch, both of which I find hilarious.

This means my post finished two seconds ago.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

Twelve Monkeys.

Prof. Farnsworth: Oh. A lesson in not changing history from Mr. I'm-My-Own-Grandpa!

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

yes - "the Marquis de Shar-day".....then "whatever" when corrected...always makes me chuckle

meanwhile my first love was standing first in line Goapele

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

"Hold on."

Picks up ringing phone.

"This isn't even my desk."

Hangs up.


I pinch. I want to pinch. Why no pinch? Maybe little pinch?

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Re: Movies with zero comic relief


Mills: What you got?
Somerset: Dead dog.
Doe: I didn't do that.

Only funny moment in Se7en for me.

Zero comic relief: Antichrist.



Purgatory...You weren't really s--t, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham.

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Re: Movies with zero comic relief


Babel
21 Grams
Schnindler's List.
Momento
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Swedish one)
The Exorcist
Children of Men


In the words of George Tekai, "Oh My!"

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

Michael Caine definitely brings comic relief to Children of Men.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

Someone already mentioned The Road, but thats one movie I will never watch again, only because it made me feel like *beep* the entire time.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

Schindler's List wasn't bereft of comedy relief.

-The scene where he's checking out the chicks he's trying to hire, and pays no attention to the only one who is good at typing because she's an old broad
-The "What's his use?" "Very useful!" "...HOW!?" scene
-The part where the lady wants to see him so that he can hire her parents, and he won't, so she dresses up really nice and puts on lipstick, and suddenly he'll see her
-"Gentlemen, thank you. You will both be in Siberia by the end of the month. Good day." Cut to: "STERN!"

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

You missed the funniest part of Schindler's. The SS have rounded up some Jews to ask who has stolen something. They ask the person responsible to step forward. Nobody steps forward. They shoot the first person in the line. They ask the second person something like, "So, do you know who did this?" The young kid points to the dead guy on the ground and says, "Yeah, he did!".

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

That is pretty funny.
Something I'd imagine seeing in a 3 Stoges short.


Now listen here, you mugs, nobody gets to say 'Meh' anymore unless you're Edward G. Robinson, see?

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

Michael Caine's character told many jokes in Children of Men.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

I have to add Irreversible, which I just saw.

Purgatory...You weren't really sh_t, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

I disagree that Se7en had no comic relief (but that's the OP's opinion); I'll agree with most of the others listed here that do not have any comic relief (in my opinion); and, I'll add "Vincent & Theo" and "Panic In Needle Park" to the list. Then again, these movies aren't meant to have any comic relief.


Re: Movies with zero comic relief

I'll also add a few of my favorite funny moments. Someone already listed the immortal, "This is not even my desk - SLAM!".

I also love the vignette in the library with the guards -
"Hey, we got culture!"
"Yea, we go culture comin' out our ass."
Don't know why, but it cracks me up - must be the delivery.

Plus, the lines before the hilarious "Sa-de" bit:
"In Cold Blood...Of Human Bondage--Bondage?"
"Not what you're thinking."
"OK..."

I found it a nice touch that most of Mills' references were laced with pop culture, as if that's the whole of his education - "Just because the ******'s got a library card doesn't make him Yoda." It actually gives us great insight into just how green Mills is.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

I'm surprised nobody mentioned these...

Mills and Sommerset at the 'sloth' scene and 'Doe' is taking the pictures...
::Mills:: M-I-LL-S FU*K OFF!
::Doe:: I'm so glad you can spell!

After Mills kicks in the door at Doe's apartment and he and Sommerset pay the crackhead to lie for them...

::Crackhead:: Yeah, and I called Detective Sommerset cause this guy was looking all creepy and sh*t!

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

The Thing has a couple of humorous moments, most memorably the "You've gotta be *beep* kidding" scene.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief


What are some movies that remain bleak throughout? I'd say Se7en is one. Sure we have that scene in the apartment ("Just a soothing, relaxing, vibrating home huh?") but I wouldn't say it's all that funny - nor the part where Mills briefly talks about shaving off a nipple.



Mills: What do you got?

Somerset: Dead dog

Mills and Somerset each turn and look at Doe

Doe: I didn't do that

Spacey delivered that line in his trademarked sarcastic deadpan style.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo(Fincher Adaptation)

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

I thought the scene where Blomkvist meets Lisbeth was pretty hilarious, in particular her shirt ("*beep* you, you *beep* *beep*."). Then there was when they screwed and the next morning they talked about how much they liked working with each other.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

I actually think Walker's script has some subtle, black humor to it. I know a lot of will mention Brad Pitt's smart ass comments throughout the film, but one of my favorite scenes in the film is where Sommerset/Freeman is reading John Doe's diary after they break into his apartment:

On the subway today, a man came up to me to start a conversation. He made small talk--a lonely man talking about the weather, among other things. I tried to be pleasant and accommodating, but my head began to hurt from his banality. I almost didn't notice it happening, but I suddenly threw up all over him. He was not pleased and I couldn't stop laughing.

Especially said in Freeman's deadpan voice, the misanthropic tone and the fact that many urbanites will relate to this sentiment made me find this particularly humorous. I know I am in the minority here, but I found the scene really quite funny. If you imagine that excerpt said in Kevin Spacey's voice, it becomes even more humorous.


There are few things as fetching as a bruised ego on a beautiful angel.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

There's also the scene where Sommerset and Mills are looking over photos of the Gluttony victim, and Mill ask Sommerset if he wants a drink, and Sommerset asks for wine. Mills returns with wine, but it's in a big tumbler glass. Sommerset accepts the wine, but not before giving it a curious glance.



Jack "Things could be worse"
Hurley "...HOW?!"

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

>Wine
Somerset is such a pretentious doucheball.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

Martyrs
The Green Hornet

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

The Green Hornet? I assume that's just meant to be a slam at the movie as you didn't find it funny? That's a comedy-action movie.

Anyway these didn't have much "intended" humor from what I remember.

There Will Be Blood
Unbreakable
M

----
I'd love to see you in the moonlight with your head thrown back and your body on fire.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

GB, that was definitely just a slam on GH.

I know it was INTENDED to be a comedy-action movie, but as far as the comedy went, it just lay there like a dead gopher. In my opinion of course.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

In that case you can add all Adam Sandler movies to the list ;)

That was real? I saw that movie, I thought it was bullsh*t

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

There Will be blood is darkly comical at times.. The "I'M Finished" line at the end, the end of the baptism scene (when Plainview shakes out his hair and says goofily "Yes, I Do". ) an even his 'That's a God damn hell of a good show" line to Eli in front of the church after his 'preaching' and "curing" of the old woman.


Re: Movies with zero comic relief

"I drink your milkshake" was effing hilarious.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

Because he likes wine!?
Your world is really simple, isn't it.

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

When brad pitt answers the killers phone...."Hello" like hes expecting his grandma.

Im in Jamaica with the keys under palm trees & the leperchaun sees what my palm reads

Re: Movies with zero comic relief

The Grey.

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Re: Movies with zero comic relief

I think there was scene were Jesus was showing of to Mary and was floating to look like like he was on an invisible chair i think or something like that, I haven't seen it since it first came out.
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