Buffy the Vampire Slayer : What's the funniest line from the show?
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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There are a lot. Contenders for the most funny...
Dawn: I gave birth to a pterodactyl
Anya: oh my god did it sing?
Once more with feeling
Harmony; Hello spike I am a villain. (Coughs smoke from cigarette)
Forget what episode, maybe Family.
Cordelia: I'm gonna be in therapy til I'm 30. (After seeing guy dissolve)
The Dark AgE
Pretty much all of Cordelia's lines with the most funny. Harmony and Anya were the next most funny characters
Dawn: I gave birth to a pterodactyl
Anya: oh my god did it sing?
Once more with feeling
Harmony; Hello spike I am a villain. (Coughs smoke from cigarette)
Forget what episode, maybe Family.
Cordelia: I'm gonna be in therapy til I'm 30. (After seeing guy dissolve)
The Dark AgE
Pretty much all of Cordelia's lines with the most funny. Harmony and Anya were the next most funny characters
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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(Xander, Willow and Buffy see a scantily clad girl dancing with RJ)
XANDER: Daddy like.
BUFFY: What is that shirt made of? Paint?
WILLOW: (eyes wide) Buff—
BUFFY: Glad Dawnie isn't here to see her precious boyfriend getting all thrusty with some slut-bag hussy—
(RJ's dancing partner turns around where Buffy can see her face. It's Dawn. Buffy stares, slack-jawed, in disbelief. )
BUFFY: Oh.
XANDER: Oh. Oh! No! "Daddy"— No, I wasn't— When I was looking, I wasn't— Oh, God!
WILLOW:(leans to Xander) Right there with ya.
GILES: I'm glad to see you've recovered from your psychic encounter more or less intact. Feel up to some training?
BUFFY: Sure. We can work out after school. You know, if you're not too busy having sex with my MOTHER!
Giles: “Oh, bloody hell. The inscription!”
Buffy: “What’s the matter?”
(Giles comes over to show her the book)
Giles: “I should have translated the Gaelic inscription under the illustration of Gachnar.”
Buffy: “What’s it say?”
Giles: “Actual size.”
“Oh, it was the horse.... I'm going to be King...!"
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Cordelia: So can I go now? She doesn't need this many stakes. I mean, if this guy Spike is as mean as you all said, it should be over pretty quickly.
Willow: Great, I'll give Xander a call. What's his number? Oh yeah, 1-800-IM-DATING-A-SKANKY-HO!
Buffy: Well, when you've been around since Columbus, you're bound to pile up a few ex's. You're older than him, right? Just between us girls, you are looking a little worn around the eyes.
Xander: Are we overlooking the possibility that she may be very attracted to me? ... She's possessed.
Anya: I'm 1120 years old, just give me a frigging beer!
Angel: I'm not evil again. Why does everyone think that? I haven't been evil for a long time!
The Master: I've lost my appetite for this one. She keeps looking at me. I'm trying to eat and she looks at me!
Glory: You can't go around hitting people. What, were you born in a barn?
Darla: That's good. You're hurting me. That's good, too.
Drusilla: I met an old man. Didn't like him. He got stuck in my teeth.
Spike: I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet, and now he doesn't chase the other puppies any more.
"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"
Willow: Great, I'll give Xander a call. What's his number? Oh yeah, 1-800-IM-DATING-A-SKANKY-HO!
Buffy: Well, when you've been around since Columbus, you're bound to pile up a few ex's. You're older than him, right? Just between us girls, you are looking a little worn around the eyes.
Xander: Are we overlooking the possibility that she may be very attracted to me? ... She's possessed.
Anya: I'm 1120 years old, just give me a frigging beer!
Angel: I'm not evil again. Why does everyone think that? I haven't been evil for a long time!
The Master: I've lost my appetite for this one. She keeps looking at me. I'm trying to eat and she looks at me!
Glory: You can't go around hitting people. What, were you born in a barn?
Darla: That's good. You're hurting me. That's good, too.
Drusilla: I met an old man. Didn't like him. He got stuck in my teeth.
Spike: I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet, and now he doesn't chase the other puppies any more.
"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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The BEST line ?!?!?!?!?!
Are you insane ?
This show is STUFFED with jokes !
No way we'll ever agree on which is the best one.
Recently I really like the end piece from 'Lie to me':
But really one can pick any episode at random and find great jokes:
Or this one:
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A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.
Are you insane ?
This show is STUFFED with jokes !
No way we'll ever agree on which is the best one.
Recently I really like the end piece from 'Lie to me':
Buffy: Lie to me.
Giles: Yes, it’s terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.
Buffy: ... liar !
But really one can pick any episode at random and find great jokes:
Buffy: My diary? You read my diary? That is not okay! A diary is like a person's most private place. I - You don't even know what I was writing about. 'Hunk' can mean a lot of things, bad things. And-and when it said that your eyes are penetrating, I meant to write 'bulging'.
Angel: Buffy...
Buffy: And 'A' doesn't even stand for Angel for that matter. It stands for Achmed, a charming foreign exchange student. So that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you, at all...
Angel: Your mother moved your diary when she came in to straighten up. I watched her from the closet. I didn't read it, I swear.
Buffy: .... oh !
Or this one:
Anya: I inflicted a lot of putrefying diseases on men when I was an avenging demon. You look like you're getting all of them.
Xander: Okay, I'll stay. But you should go. You could catch it.
Anya: We'll die together. It's romantic. Let me get your trousers off.
Xander: You're a strange girlfriend.
Anya: I'm a girlfriend?
Xander: There's a chance I'm delirious.
Anya: Ah, yes. Well, whatever it is that's making you sick, so far, I like it.
---
A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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Oooh and lets not forget the classics:
And the probably biggest Ripper moment of the show:
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A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.
Angel: We need you to distract the vampires.
Buffy: Right.
Xander: What are you gonna do?
Buffy: I'm gonna kill them all. That oughta distract them.
And the probably biggest Ripper moment of the show:
Slook: I do indeed work for the god. Let me go if you do not wish to incur her anger.
Giles: Well, she's not here. What a marvelous opportunity for you and me to talk.
Slook: I will not betray Glorificus. I will never talk, no matter what heinous torture -
Giles: Actually, you're talking quite a lot, just not about the right things. Tell us why you're here.
Slook: No words shall pass my lips that will bring peril to Glorificus.
Giles doesn't take his eyes off the demon, but points with his hand.
Giles: Girls, get the twine that's on the counter, let's tie him up.
Willow and Anya turn away. We hear some sort of rustling noise and Slook begins to sob. The girls turn back in amazement.
Slook: No, no! I'll tell you! Anything! Please! Whatever you want! Just, I'll, anything!
---
A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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I've always liked:
"And when Giles sends me on a mission he always says please. And afterwards I get a cookie."
"And when Giles sends me on a mission he always says please. And afterwards I get a cookie."
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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It's hard to pick just one. A few of mine are:
Anya: You can sleep with me!...... That came out a lot more lesbian than it sounded in my head.
Buffy to the Doublemeat guy talking about his ears: Imagine that!
Invisible Buffy after stealing the cart: So long, copper!
Willow: What a bitch (after loving Riley's wife the whole episode)
Willow: I'm always like go school, it's your birthday, or words to that effect.
Anya: You can sleep with me!...... That came out a lot more lesbian than it sounded in my head.
Buffy to the Doublemeat guy talking about his ears: Imagine that!
Invisible Buffy after stealing the cart: So long, copper!
Willow: What a bitch (after loving Riley's wife the whole episode)
Willow: I'm always like go school, it's your birthday, or words to that effect.
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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Omg, I just saw the connection between this line and "restless"..:
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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"I always worried what would happen when that bitch got some funding." - Spike (Season 4, Episode 7)
Lmao! I love that line. Another throw away line like that I love is "Time? Time is what turns kittens into cats..."
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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Vampire: Slayer
Buffy : Slayeee
School's Hard was the episode. (I am not sure)
------------------------
Everything Spike said in the Yoko Factor to break the scoobies up.
Buffy : Slayeee
School's Hard was the episode. (I am not sure)
------------------------
Everything Spike said in the Yoko Factor to break the scoobies up.
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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Anya: I can just hear you in private. "I dislike that Anya. She's newly human, and strangely literal".
Willow: What? I don't say that. No one says that. No one talks that way.
"Poor watcher. What's the matter, life flash before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea?"
Spike : "Out. For. A. Walk. ............Bitch."
What is your childhood trauma? -Cordelia
Everything Cordelia says is hilarious. I also love the scene when Buffy boy asks about Anya's money and Anya looks like so pleased that someone cared enough to ask.
"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children
Willow: What? I don't say that. No one says that. No one talks that way.
"Poor watcher. What's the matter, life flash before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea?"
Spike : "Out. For. A. Walk. ............Bitch."
What is your childhood trauma? -Cordelia
Everything Cordelia says is hilarious. I also love the scene when Buffy boy asks about Anya's money and Anya looks like so pleased that someone cared enough to ask.
"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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Here's a fun exchange from "Intervention":
BUFFY: So, how's it start?
GILES: I, uh, jump out of the circle and then jump back in it, and then, um ... (embarrassed) I shake my gourd.
BUFFY: I know this ritual! The ancient shamans were next called upon to do the hokey-pokey and turn themselves around.
GILES: (straightens up, gives her a sour look) Go quest.
Buffy makes an amused face. Giles looks embarrassed. He sighs, rolls his eyes, jumps into the circle of twigs, jumps out, and shakes the gourd. Nothing seems to happen. He and Buffy look at each other.
BUFFY: And that's what it's all about.
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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On that note, I always liked the description she gives to the potentials...
Giles: 'Apparently someone told them that the vision quest consists of me driving them to the desert, doing the hokey pokey until a spooky rasta mamma slayer arrives and speaks to them in riddles'.
I agree with the previous comment though, there are a lot of witty lines throughout (and I think every character gets a play at it).
Spike: You made a bear! Undo it, undo it!!
One of the potentials: Why is that guy tied up?
Xander: The question you'll soon be asking is 'why isn't he gagged'?
Anya wanting to keep Xander split in The Replacement, so she could sleep with them both (the whole exchange was quite funny).
Xander in the Zeppo was full of funny (and since the episode was really about him, that makes sense).
Too much awesome, must rewatch. :)
Ford.
Yes?
I think I'm a sofa.
I know how you feel.
Giles: 'Apparently someone told them that the vision quest consists of me driving them to the desert, doing the hokey pokey until a spooky rasta mamma slayer arrives and speaks to them in riddles'.
I agree with the previous comment though, there are a lot of witty lines throughout (and I think every character gets a play at it).
Spike: You made a bear! Undo it, undo it!!
One of the potentials: Why is that guy tied up?
Xander: The question you'll soon be asking is 'why isn't he gagged'?
Anya wanting to keep Xander split in The Replacement, so she could sleep with them both (the whole exchange was quite funny).
Xander in the Zeppo was full of funny (and since the episode was really about him, that makes sense).
Too much awesome, must rewatch. :)
Ford.
Yes?
I think I'm a sofa.
I know how you feel.
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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I'm currently rewatching season 7 and I just saw the vision quest episode the other day. Still hilarious.
"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children
"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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What about the sexual innuendos ?
OMWF:
Where the wild things are:
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A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.
OMWF:
Buffy: What else would I pump you for ?
Buffy: ... I really just said that, didnt I ?
Where the wild things are:
Buffy: Okay, you get fang, I get horny !
Bufffy: ... I mean ...
---
A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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Willow Rosenberg: Buffy, that is my best friend, you need to think about not Parker. He's no good. There are men, better men, wherein the mind is stronger than the penis.
Xander: ... pffft !
Xander (shouts): Nothing can defeat the penis!
(Everyone stares)
Xander: ... too loud. Very unseemly !
---
A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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OMG -- so many candidates, who can choose?
Some of my favorites:
Zeppo:
Earshot:
The Initiative:
Buffy vs. Dracula:
Once More, With Feeling:
Tabula Rasa:
Smashed:
Lessons:
. . . and I was trying to keep it brief. :)
Some of my favorites:
Zeppo:
Xander: You're in a band. That's like a business-class ticket to cool with complimentary mojo after take-off. I gotta learn an instrument. Is it hard to play guitar?
Oz: Not the way I play it.
Earshot:
Xander: You know Oz, I look at all this beauty, all these healthy young women and I wonder why I wasted my time on Cordelia. I mean, look at her. She’s no better lookin’ than the rest of them.
Oz: None of them are really mine...
Xander: Oh my God! He’s lookin’ at her. He’s got his filthy adult Pierce Brosnany eyes all over my Cordy.
Oz: You’re a very complex man, aren’t you.
Oz: Dingoes Ate My Baby played their instruments as if they had plump polish sausages taped to their fingers.
Freddy: Sorry man.
Oz: No, it’s fair.
The Initiative:
Willow: OK, say that I help, and you start a conversation, it goes great, you like Buffy, she likes you, you spend time together, feelings grow deeper, and one day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops, and it feels like the whole world is made for you two, and you two alone, until the day one of you leaves and rips the still-beating heart from the other, who's now a broken, hollow mockery of the human condition.
Riley: Yep, that's the plan.
Willow: Maybe you're trying too hard. Doesn't this happen to every vampire?
Spike: Not to me, it doesn't!
Buffy vs. Dracula:
Xander: Dammit! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt monkey!
Buffy: Check. No more butt monkey.
Buffy: I'm standing right here.
Once More, With Feeling:
Xander: Spike sang a wittle song?
Anya: Would you say it was a breakaway pop hit or more of a book number?
Xander: Let it go, sweetie.
Sweet: What if I kill you?
Buffy: Trust me. Won't help.
Tabula Rasa:
Spike: Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent. You Englishmen are always so... Bloody hell! Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks, oh God! I'm English!
Giles: Welcome to the nancy tribe.
Smashed:
Buffy: Hi. How've you been?
Amy: Rat. You?
Buffy: Dead.
Amy: Oh.
Lessons:
Dawn: I know: You never know what's coming. The stake is not the power. To Serve Man is a cookbook. I love you. Go away.
Dawn: So the principal's evil?
Buffy: Or in a boatload of danger.
Xander: Well, the last two principals were eaten. Who'd even apply for that job?
. . . and I was trying to keep it brief. :)
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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Damn, that turn out to be prescient. Kind of like the line in "I, Robot, You, Jane," when the group realizes they'll never have happy, normal relationships, and are probably doomed; and try to laugh it off.
Willow: OK, say that I help, and you start a conversation, it goes great, you like Buffy, she likes you, you spend time together, feelings grow deeper, and one day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops, and it feels like the whole world is made for you two, and you two alone, until the day one of you leaves and rips the still-beating heart from the other, who's now a broken, hollow mockery of the human condition.
Riley: Yep, that's the plan.
“We're Starfleet officers; weird is part of the job."
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks, oh God! I'm English!
This is my text message alert. ?
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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Another great ending:
---
A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.
Willow: It's okay. I understand you having to bail. I can forgive that. Mm, I have to make allowances for what you're going through a-and be a grownup about it. (gives Buffy a slightly smug look)
Buffy: (smiles) You're really enjoying this whole moral superiority thing, aren't you?
Willow: (smiles) It's like a drug!
Buffy: Fine! Okay. I'm the bad. I can take my lumps . . . for a while.
Willow: All right. I'll stop giving you a hard time. (pauses) Runaway !
Buffy: (gives her a surprised look) Will!
Willow: (smiles and giggles) I'm sorry! Quitter !
Buffy: (widens her eyes at her) Whiner !
Willow: Bailer !
Buffy: Harpy !
Willow: Delinquent !
Buffy: Tramp !
Willow: (takes mock offense) Bad seed !
Buffy: Witch !
Willow: Freak !
---
A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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I'd forgotten about that dialog from "Dead Man's Party." Once again, it happens -- I remember an episode as pretty much a waste only to be reminded that it had something great enough to redeem it. Even the episodes I disliked the most (I'm not referring to "Dead Man's Party") generally have something which I admire.
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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Cordelia: Is Mr. I'm-the-lead-singer-I'm-so-great-I-don't-have-to-show-
Oz: Yeah, y'know, he's just going by 'Devon' now.
Buffy: I went to Angel's last night and Faith was there. They looked
sort of intimate.
Willow: No way. I know what you're thinking and no way!
Buffy: You're right. Faith would never do that.
Willow: Faith would totally do that. Faith was built to do that.
She's the do that girl.
Buffy: Comfort, remember comfort, here?
Willow: I mean, please, does Angel come up to Faith's standards for
a guy? Let's see, is he breathing?
Buffy: Actually, no.
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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Giles at the end of The Harvest "The Earth is doomed."
Giles in Chosen "The Earth is definitely doomed."
Spike in Doomed "What's this? Sitting around watching the telly while there's evil still afoot? It's not very industrious of you. I say, we go out there, and kick a little demon ass. What, can't go without your Buffy? Is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her. She is the Chosen One, after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty. Let's annihilate them. For justice, and for the safety of puppies, and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil. Let's kill something. Oh, come on!"
Giles in Chosen "The Earth is definitely doomed."
Spike in Doomed "What's this? Sitting around watching the telly while there's evil still afoot? It's not very industrious of you. I say, we go out there, and kick a little demon ass. What, can't go without your Buffy? Is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her. She is the Chosen One, after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty. Let's annihilate them. For justice, and for the safety of puppies, and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil. Let's kill something. Oh, come on!"
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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XANDER: Man, words cannot express how much I hate this place.
GILES: It's dreadful.
ANYA: It's like communism.
GILES: Punishing yourself like this is pointless.
BUFFY: It's entirely pointy.
WILLOW: Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?
XANDER: Brace yourself. You're not gonna believe it.
TARA: Everyone, before we jump all over her, people do strange things when someone they love dies. When I lost my mother, I-I did some pretty dumb stuff, like lying to my family and staying out all night.
ANYA: Buffy's boinking Spike.
Xander nods. Willow and Tara look surprised.
WILLOW: (pause) Oh ... well, Ta-Tara's right. Grief can be powerful, and we shouldn't judge-
TARA: What are you, kidding? She's nuts!
GILES: 'Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the *dead*!' Americans.
ANYA: For God's sakes, Andrew. You've been in here for 30 minutes. What are you doing?
ANDREW: Entertaining and educating.
ANYA: Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?
ANYA: Piano!
XANDER: Because that's what we used to kill that big demon that one time!
Buffy turns to look at them with a confused frown.
XANDER: No wait, that-that was a rocket launcher. (turns to Anya) Ahn, what are you talking about?
ANYA: We should drop a piano on her. Well, it always works for that creepy cartoon rabbit when he's running from that nice man with the speech impediment.
GILES: (rolls his eyes) Yes, or perhaps we could paint a convincing tunnel on the side of a mountain.
XANDER: Just give it time, Ahn. This is hard for all of us. Just ... be patient.
ANYA: I *was* being patient, but it took too long.
GILES: I have a friend who's coming to town
and I'd like us to be alone.
ANYA: Oh, you mean an orgasm friend?
GILES: Yes, that's exactly the most appalling thing you could have said.
BUFFY: If I'm the one who let you die, why take it out on her? I'm right here. C'mon, what're you after? Fear? Revenge? Tasty brains?
DEAD NERD: I think I'd like Dawn to be my girlfriend.
BUFFY: Again, wrong sister. I'm the one that dates dead guys. And, no offense, but they were hotties.
CORDELIA: Hi, Mr. Beech! I was just wondering, were you planning on killing a bunch of people tomorrow? Oh, it's for the yearbook!
DAWN: Anchovies, anchovies, you're so delicious. I love you more than all the other fishes.
BUFFY: Snyder, you alive in there?
SYNDER: You. All of you. Why couldn't you be dealing drugs like normal people?
BUFFY: What is this?
WILLOW: A doodle. I do doodle. You, too. You do doodle, too.
COACH MARIN: Boy, when they were handin' out school spirit, you didn't even stand in line, did you?
BUFFY: No. I was in the line for shred of sanity.
CORDELIA: That is such a twinkie defense. Shylock should get over himself. People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of *my* life, and she's trying to make it about *her* leg! Like *my* pain meant nothing.
CORDELIA: You're really campaigning for bitch-of-the-year, aren't you?
BUFFY: As defending champion, you nervous?
MAYOR: So what are kids reading nowadays?
He reaches for an open book -- as Buffy silently conceals the newspaper, eyes never leaving the Mayor.
MAYOR: (reads chapter heading) "The Beast will walk upon the Earth, and Darkness will follow. The several races of man will be as one in their terror and destruction", say, that's kind of sweet, different races coming together...
MASTER: You were destined to die! It was written!
BUFFY: What can I say? I flunked the written.
CALEB: Stupid girl. You'll never stop me. You don't have the b --
As he is saying it, she arcs the blade back and swings it up right between his legs. We don't see it connect, of course, but we sure as hell see his expression when it does.
BUFFY: Well, who does nowadays?
A moment, and she uses both hands to RIP the blade upwards. We see nothing of the damage, but some dark blood spatters her face as she completes the scythe's arc upward. A moment, and we hear the body fall to one side of her -- then hear the other half fall to the other side.
Angel stands, spinning, furious.
ANGEL: Okay, now I'm pissed. Where is he?
Buffy indicates the floor to her left. Angel looks. Then she indicates the floor to her right. Angel looks, then back at her, impressed. Buffy smiles girlishly.
BUFFY: He had to split.
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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Actually that was kind of one of the LEAST funny things said in that scene:
Willow: Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?
Xander: This isn't real.
Buffy: I can't feel anything. Arms or legs or anything...
Giles: She was... truly the finest of all of us.
Xander: Way better than me...
Giles: Much, much better.
Buffy: We just saw her at lunch... how could...
Xander: It's all my fault !
Giles: What makes you say that?
Xander: I don't know... Statistical probability...
Buffy: No ! It's me ! It's me, I called her reliable, she must have gone out and gotten attacked which she wouldn't have done except I called her reliable and now my best friend is --
Willow: What's going on?
Willow: Jeez, who died?
Willow: Oh god! Who died?
Xander (jumps at her, waving a cross) Back! Get back, Demon!
Willow stares at him. He stares at the cross. It's not working. He pulls it away, shakes it as if to make it work, holds it to her again. No effect.
Buffy: Willow? You're alive?
Willow: Aren't I usually?
Buffy runs to her and grabs her in a hug, crying. A moment and Xander joins the hug.
Willow: I love you guys too...
Willow: Okay, oxygen becoming an issue...
Willow (to Giles): What's going on with these guywHOAH!
Giles hugs her too. Willow is not amused.
Giles: Sorry.
Buffy touches Willow's hair, smiling happily.
Willow: It's nice that you guys missed me. Say, you didn't all happen to do a bunch of drugs, did you?
Xander: Will, we saw you. At the bronze. A vampire.
Willow: I'm not a vampire !
Buffy: But you are, I mean you were... Giles, you planning to step in with an explanation any time soon?
Giles: Well, something... something very strange is happening.
Pause.
Xander: Can you believe the Watcher council let this guy go?
---
A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
Reply |
Angel: (very upset) Buffy, I... I just... Something's happened that...
He pauses when he gets patient, waiting looks from Buffy and Xander.
Angel: (blurts it out) Willow's dead.
Buffy and Xander nod knowingly. Willow straightens up from leaning
against the door frame. Angel notices her.
Angel: (distractedly) Hey, Willow.
He looks back at Buffy and Xander. Xander raises his eyebrows at him.
Suddenly it clicks in Angel's mind, and he does a double take at Willow.
Angel: (very confused) Wait a second.
He looks back at Buffy and Xander for confirmation. Giles raises his
eyebrows, rolls his eyes and grimaces.
Xander: (understandingly) We're *right* there with you, buddy.
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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Those are two of my favorite Cordelia quotes. I love watching the episode with the car quote in their class and you can see willow just rolling her eyes when Miss Miller compliments Cordelia's observations lol. Buffy vs the Master dialogue always makes me laugh. I adore season 1.
"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children
"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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I also really love the "Apathy On The Rise. Nobody Cares" headline from the school newspaper.
---
A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.
---
A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
Reply |
I also really love the "Apathy On The Rise. Nobody Cares" headline from the school newspaper.
OMG. That's excellent. I don't remember that at all -- what episode was that in?
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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That should be in Earshot.
---
A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.
---
A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.
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Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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Buffy says 'wanna see my impression of Ghandi?' And beats a demon to death. 'Ghandi?' The othe girl says, and Buffy replies 'well, you know, if he was really pissed.'
Also when the captain of the football team says they should do all right 'as long there aren't too many mysterious deaths this year.'
Also when the captain of the football team says they should do all right 'as long there aren't too many mysterious deaths this year.'
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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Also when the captain of the football team says they should do all right 'as long there aren't too many mysterious deaths this year.'
That was Larry, he wound up dying at graduation.
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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Xander playfully taunts Buffy's 'parental issues' - off Willow's reaction he says "Hey, Freud would have said the same thing! Only he might not have done that little dance."
Balthazzar the big grotesque demon-in-a-tub: "You know what I want." - Giles: "Well, if it's for me to scrub those hard to reach areas, I'd like to request that you kill me now."
Balthazzar the big grotesque demon-in-a-tub: "You know what I want." - Giles: "Well, if it's for me to scrub those hard to reach areas, I'd like to request that you kill me now."
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
Reply |
It's so hard to pick just one! I'll give a few favorites:
______________________________________________
Formerly known as "Greenmandms"
Giles: *high pitched* Look at my mask! Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead!
Anya: Come on, let's go assemble the cannon fodder.
Xander: That's not what we're calling 'em, sweetie.
Anya: Not to their faces. What am I, insensitive?
______________________________________________
Formerly known as "Greenmandms"
Re: What's the funniest line from the show?
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Like others have said, it’s far too difficult to pick a ‘funniest line’ from one of the most quotable shows ever. As for what could be deemed ‘funniest’...it’s all subjective really. These are probably by no means regarded as the ‘funniest’ lines from the show, but they’re the ones I always remember and quote the most in my head at random times:
From Season 2’s ‘Halloween’
Oz: "Hey, Cordelia. Geez, you're like a great big cat."
Cordelia: "It's my costume. Are you guys playing tonight?"
Oz: "Yeah, at the Shelter Club."
Cordelia: “Is Mr. I'm-the-lead-singer-I'm-so-great-I-don't-have-to-show-up-for-my-date-or-even-call gonna be there?”
Oz: “Yeah, y'know, he's just going by 'Devon' now.”
From Season 3’s ‘Dopplegangland’
Xander: “Willow, did you remember to tape Biography last Friday?”
Willow: “Uh-huh.”
Buffy: “See, I told you. Old Reliable.”
Willow: “Oh, thanks.”
Buffy: “What?”
Willow: “'Old Reliable'? Yeah, great. *There's* a sexy nickname.”
Buffy: “Well, I-I didn't mean it as...”
Willow: “No, it's fine. I'm 'Old Reliable'.”
Xander: “She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals.”
Willow: “That's Old Faithful.”
Xander: “Isn't that the dog that, that the guy had to shoot...”
Willow: “That's Old Yeller.”
Buffy: “Xander, I beg you not to help me.”
From ‘Graduation Day, Part 2’
Buffy: [to Angel] “You and Xander are going to have to work together now. Can you guys handle that?"
Xander: "But I'm still key-guy, right?"
Buffy: "Right."
Xander: "Then Angel, in his non key-guy capacity, can work with me."
Angel: "What fun."
Xander: "Hey! Key-guy is still talking..."
From Season 4’s ‘The Freshman’
Xander: “Buffy, this is all about fear. It's understandable, but you can't let it control you. 'Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to anger.' No wait, hold on. 'Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side.' Hold on, no, umm, 'First you get the women, then you get the money, then you...' okay, can we forget that?”
Buffy: “Thanks for the Dadaist pep talk, I feel much more abstract now.”
And...
Xander: “You up for a little reconnaissance?”
Buffy: “You mean where we all sculpt and paint and stuff?”
Xander: “No, that was the renaissance.”
Buffy: “Oh. I've had a really long week.”
From ‘Doomed’
Buffy: [to Giles] “I told you! I-I said end of the world and you’re like ‘poo-poo southern California, poo-poo!'”
From Season 6’s ‘Bargaining, Part 1’
Giles: “You might have let me in on your plan while he throttled me.”
Spike: “Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea?”
From Season 7’s ‘Chosen’
Xander: [after Buffy says she cut Caleb in half] “Hey, party in my eye socket and everyone's invited.” [pause] “Sometimes I shouldn't say words.”
Jack Sparrow: "Look." [shoots the monkey] "An undead monkey! Top that!"
From Season 2’s ‘Halloween’
Oz: "Hey, Cordelia. Geez, you're like a great big cat."
Cordelia: "It's my costume. Are you guys playing tonight?"
Oz: "Yeah, at the Shelter Club."
Cordelia: “Is Mr. I'm-the-lead-singer-I'm-so-great-I-don't-have-to-show-up-for-my-date-or-even-call gonna be there?”
Oz: “Yeah, y'know, he's just going by 'Devon' now.”
From Season 3’s ‘Dopplegangland’
Xander: “Willow, did you remember to tape Biography last Friday?”
Willow: “Uh-huh.”
Buffy: “See, I told you. Old Reliable.”
Willow: “Oh, thanks.”
Buffy: “What?”
Willow: “'Old Reliable'? Yeah, great. *There's* a sexy nickname.”
Buffy: “Well, I-I didn't mean it as...”
Willow: “No, it's fine. I'm 'Old Reliable'.”
Xander: “She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals.”
Willow: “That's Old Faithful.”
Xander: “Isn't that the dog that, that the guy had to shoot...”
Willow: “That's Old Yeller.”
Buffy: “Xander, I beg you not to help me.”
From ‘Graduation Day, Part 2’
Buffy: [to Angel] “You and Xander are going to have to work together now. Can you guys handle that?"
Xander: "But I'm still key-guy, right?"
Buffy: "Right."
Xander: "Then Angel, in his non key-guy capacity, can work with me."
Angel: "What fun."
Xander: "Hey! Key-guy is still talking..."
From Season 4’s ‘The Freshman’
Xander: “Buffy, this is all about fear. It's understandable, but you can't let it control you. 'Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to anger.' No wait, hold on. 'Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side.' Hold on, no, umm, 'First you get the women, then you get the money, then you...' okay, can we forget that?”
Buffy: “Thanks for the Dadaist pep talk, I feel much more abstract now.”
And...
Xander: “You up for a little reconnaissance?”
Buffy: “You mean where we all sculpt and paint and stuff?”
Xander: “No, that was the renaissance.”
Buffy: “Oh. I've had a really long week.”
From ‘Doomed’
Buffy: [to Giles] “I told you! I-I said end of the world and you’re like ‘poo-poo southern California, poo-poo!'”
From Season 6’s ‘Bargaining, Part 1’
Giles: “You might have let me in on your plan while he throttled me.”
Spike: “Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea?”
From Season 7’s ‘Chosen’
Xander: [after Buffy says she cut Caleb in half] “Hey, party in my eye socket and everyone's invited.” [pause] “Sometimes I shouldn't say words.”
Jack Sparrow: "Look." [shoots the monkey] "An undead monkey! Top that!"
What's the funniest line from the show?
"I always worried what would happen when that bitch got some funding." - Spike (Season 4, Episode 7)
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Life is a movie. Write your own ending. Keep believing. Keep pretending.
-Kermit