Baby Boy : 100 Things Baby Boy Taught Me …

I thought this had been here before but now its gone .. anyways,

1. If someone steals your car in the hood, blame the mexicans. In fact, blame the "littlest" one.

2. If you beat your girl .. lay her on the bed and eat that pssy out to make it all better.

3. Little kids are the best choice to watch your bike in the hood.

4. Groups of thugs who outnumber you will stand in line and let you knock 'em out one by one.

5. Always pray when making plans to kill someome.

6. If your girl always acusses you of cheating on her, never bring up the fact that she's been accepting collect calls from county lock-up.

7. Always admit to cheating by saying "from time to time I FCK other females but I only love you".

8. You may think you on some new *beep* but you aint nuttin but a re-run of Melvin

9. If you and Melvin were on lockdown he would make you get on your knees and fix it.

10.) A great sex position is hopping up and down around on the floor.
11.) its great to leave your child with your ex boyfriend who just got out of jail and his thug friends.
12.)You can get up butt naked in the morning and fix some breakfast in your girlfriends house with her son still living there.
14.)If you make your son move out he will die in less than 2 days.

The Sentence Below Is True

The Sentence Above Is False

15. accept a collect call from some1 in jail,let them cuss you out,& hung up on you.
16. all full figured women wear a size 16.
17. when cheating on you gf every 1's fair game except her co-workers.
18. if you know your bf is cheating,continue to have unprotected sex with him.
19. if you know your bf does'nt want anymore children,don't use any birth control methods,keep getting pregnant by him hoping he'll let you eventually keep 1.
20. don't use birth control,just have an abortion.
21. if you're employed,& your significant other is'nt-let them take your car for the day to do absolutely nothing. you can always walk home after a hard day's work.


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they like me-they really like me!

22. Ur bf can say his gf car is hes just because he put brakes on the car and some ugly rimms on it.

23.sellin dresses out of a truck is better than gettin a real job

24. smelling a man's dick is a way to tell if he's cheating.
25. some grown women still suck their thumb.
26. men-don't fight "lil *beep* & your mom's bf back if they hit you. but fight your gf if she hits you.
27. if your man starts having sex with you on while you're on the phone.moan 1st letting the person know what you're doing-then hang up.



^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
you are N0T the father!

28. You should love your mother in law more because she made your girl.

29. Make sure your mom brings you a burger after her date.

30. If you want to surprise your mama - move out.

31. When a man does what he wants with you .. you ain't stupid - your in love.

32. Get baptized so Jesus won't say "turn yo ass around nga".

33. Every women has an all purpose dress

34. Never mess with " the Hoovers" LOL

35. Listen to older people cause they seen it , heard it and done it all.

36. We black people believe in tha barter system

37.Ya Ex-Baby Mama will call u when she wants sum dick but u gotta find your own way to get to her.

38. When hittin sumbody, its best to aim for the nose or the mouth. Preferably the nose cause its softer.

39. Its ok to ask someone if they want something from the store after they just choke u

40. Once you spend the night at a female's house, it's automatically YOUR MOTHAF%*KIN HOUSE!
41. After exchanging "looks" with your girl's coworker everyday after work, you should be surprised that she wants to have sex with you when you go to her house to sell her a dress.
42. It's okay to curse an inmate out of the telephone while he's in jail, but when he's out, just act like you don't see or hear him when you go to pick your son up.
43. You should ride your bike when picking your son up.
44. Every person in the hood should be a hustler. It only makes sense that EVERYONE is selling something and no one's buying.
45. Whenever your man gets out of line, just tell him you'll call his parole officer. That'll shut him right up.
46. You have to have sex with your woman to make her clean up.
47. Your baby's daddy's mom will watch your son, and when you come to pick him up you greet her with "WHERE MY SON AT." Don't say, "Hey. Thank you so much for babysitting," that's ridiculous.
48. An unemployed guy has enough money to buy a $15.15 bottle of Alize everyday and go to strip clubs when he feels like it.
49. When you get out of jail, you immediately go to your ex's house. You then have your boys over and complain that you have nowhere to go when she tells you to leave. Apparently, your boys are homeless.
50. Casting "Mo" from Smart Guy as a thug wasn't the best move.
51. Snoop doesn't like forts built with pillows.
52. If you're hungry, drive to one of your baby's mom's house in your other baby's mom's car, walk in the house and scream her name a few times, find her in the shower, and demand that she get out and cook "a nga" something to eat. She should have absolutely no problem with that, and will fulfill your request immediately.

53. You lie to your girl because you love her and tell everyone else the truth
54. Its okay to kill someone in the middle of the streets and never get caught
55. You have to make your man some tacos after good sex

#40




Sedagive?!!!

not funny

lol@40-55

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why I oughtta

these are good. hahahaaaa!

______________________________
they like me-they really like me!

Um yeah I just tried #52 and it didn't work .. I musta did something wrong .. I'm watching the scene again for clues

ha ha, demo deus! (Lol at #52 over here!)

SINS NOIR
(Black movie sins):
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfoxduzSJwi0yun_U4kt1RQ

56. Mama gotta have a life too.
57. Stacey Adams shoes are OG style.
58. Jody has an Oedipus complex.
59. If you're too aggressive, you should have a cute nickname like Sweetpea.
60. A shyster will sell you something and after you buy it you feel like you got took.
61. You buy something nice from a good salesman and you feel lucky.


Sedagive?!!!

lol @ # 59

62.) Lord understands *beep* ain't perfect.

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why I oughtta

63. It's all about guns and butta, Baby
64. Cut the whispering REAL quick when Melvin jumps and says, "what?"
65. Hoodrat grandma's look just as good, if not better than your baby mama(s).
66. Always do the "beat it up right" dance when you put down proper like.
67. Talk *beep* to your man like a champ, and SUDDENLY cower down with the quickness when he turns around.
68. In 2001, folks STILL had plastic floor runners and plastic on the furniture.
69. When you make a romantic gesture towards your woman, make her breakfast while booty BUTT naked and skip the orange juice - we ladies ALWAYS want red Kool-Aid for breakfast.
70. Concentrate on NOT dropping the mutha fuggin' soap while in prison.
71. Honda Accords ALWAYS look better when they are sittin' on triple gold D's.

The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.

72. Women ain't bitches. they just unstable creatures.

73. If your mama's new boyfriend is a 6 foot 4' 280 pounds dude, who's also been 10 years in prison, and looks like a WWE wrestler, maybe it's not the smartest thing to step into their face and try to threaten them.

72. Women ain't bitches. they just unstable creatures.

73. Tyrese can ride the HELL out of a bicycle

The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.

74. If you want LUSCIOUS locks like Snoop's be sure to keep that hair plaited while in the shank, but be sure to pin curl your ish and use a hair net at night so that you can rock the shirly temples
75. A dude that weighs all of 57 lbs. can hold a grown ass woman down and can throw a helluva punch
76. Omar Gooding is a BAD MOFO when he's not kicking it with Taj Mowry
77. A guy can use his nut rag to sufficiently remove his finger prints from a weapon he just used

The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.

lol@#76&73

78. it's ok for your bf to plant weed in your garden-but not your son.


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I'm not taking my sneakers off,cause I'm Sneakers 0'Toole.

79. A grandmother can tell her son to be mature and grow up while having a history of dating thugs and currently dating an ex-con, who has a history of "killin' and cuttin' up [beeps]" and who now plants weed in her garden (which is ok as long as "baby boy" didn't do it).

80. An OG ex-con taking a gun away from you can be considered a moment of enlightenment and make your relationship with him look like Jesus with God.

81. If a character in a movie kills someone, have him get baptized in the next scene and add some uplifting music to cast him in a positive light.

lol@80&81

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brush your breath,brush your breath,brush your breath with dentyne.

82: It's Ok to cook breakfast naked in your girlfriends house, even when her son is there; Just don't drink all the Kool-Aid.

83: Gay hair dressers in the hood love pink spandex.

84: Gold rims are always fly even if they only tens

85: If you cheat on your girl, make sure you wash your d*ck off before you see her, cause she might try to smell it. You know she can tell.

86: Also, If your d*ck smells clean, don't brag about it, cause ur girlfriend will probably accuse you of washing it off.

Also Lol-ing at 80 & 81!

SINS NOIR
(Black movie sins):
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfoxduzSJwi0yun_U4kt1RQ

87. everybody gets used.
88. if you cook in the nude,make sure you wear your socks&slippers.
89. big & ugly women will be a booster's best customers.
90. when you start doing what your mama used to do-you must be getting old.

______________________________
brush your breath,brush your breath,brush your breath with dentyne.

91.) even if your bf physically abuses you, you're still better off living with him than women that don't live with their bfs.
92.) about the african squat/ *beep* squat *beep*.
93.) the difference between guns & butter.
94.) if you sell women's clothes,& you break em off real good-they'll be a regular customer.

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popeye has ate his spinach

95. if your baby daddy refuses to get repairs for your car,it means he don't love you no more.
96. butter is,cars,jewelry,all that other bull *beep* that don't mean *beep* after u buy it.
97. there reason we're so divided as a ppl is- we don't have FOCUS.watching pbs will help.
98. strippers suck a lot of dicks.
99. marvin gaye songs are grown folk music.


______________________________
brush your breath,brush your breath,brush your breath with dentyne.

and here is number 100drum roll.:


100. An ex-con will hang out with a bunch of gangstas in the daytime and act hard in front of the boyfriend of the girl, whose place you're staying in, and yet he'll still walk on the streets alone not expecting said boyfriend to retaliate by gunning him down after trying to rape his girlfriend in front of your kid.

101. the 'beat it up right' dance lol
102. the 'c walk'

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popeye has ate his spinach

104) Bernice is one big bitch

105) Jody knows all about them females..

106) Sweetpea hasn't hit that since continuation school cuz..

107) Popeye's bitch-ass aint gunna do S**t..

108) Melvin's Partner plays in a band over on Crenshaw..

109) Showing a tattoo on your chest of you're babydaddy's name to his other babbymomma is a way of showing her who's boss.

110) It never occurred to Jody's mom that the reason he never moved out of his momma house because she never left her momma's house to begin with. She was acting like Grand-momma's house was her's.


"It's a chicken restaurant in Waukegan You didn't think I knew did ya!!"

lol@#s 107&109

111. most women in this movie have in the past, or currently work for the phone company.

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Popeye has eaten his spinach

112) It's alright to give your granddaughter secondhand smoke in the kitchen while your daughter and her baby-daddy are in her room getting high and boning.



This is for Allah and it's going way out there sucka

114. The best way to get your grown, non-working son to move out is to get yourself an abusive boyfriend. This is a much healthier way to live.

115. A man who sells boosted clothes for a living is an ideal choice for a husband - especially when you have one child and one on the way.

116. The best time to buy your woman's engagement ring is when she is VERY pregnant.

117. There's nothing like being greeted in the morning by the smell of breakfast cooking - and the site of your mother's naked boyfriend preparing it.

118. If your mother's naked boyfriend is preparing breakfast you most likely aren't getting any breakfast. Not even a sip of Kool-Aid to go with it.

119. A man should address another man he despises as "neph - ew!"

120. Yvette doesn't know what "head of household" means.

121. Jody's phone is in Yvette's house. And she needs to put a block on that motha ph#cka.

122. A young man should get at least 2 women pregnant to be assured of having adequate sex partners as needed. These women will be willing to cook him a meal to go with the sexual activities. But he needs to keep in mind that the "free sex & meal card" will expire before his oldest child turns 17. At which time he needs to find a woman who has a grown, non-working son in her home.

123. When your fiancee is VERY pregnant, that is the best time to go on a picnic where she can sit on the ground on a blanket. A comfortable lawn chair at this point is not desired nor required.

124. The average woman either wears a size 5/6 or a size 16.

125. A man who throws your son across the room and breaks your table is an indication that he's a good man and should be moved into your home immediately. After all - you don't have to beg HIM to get no job!

126. The best time to perform oral sex on your woman is after hitting her. Just the thing to get her in the mood!

127. The best time to ask your man to get your car fixed is when you have another man living in your home.

128. A tattoo (that you paid for) of a man on your chest is proof of ownership of said man.

129. If you suspect your man is fooling around, take out the bulk of your anger on the drive-thru employee who is trying to fill your order.

130. The best way to sell a boosted garment is to feel up the customer while holding said garment.

131. Bernice is STILL one big bitch!


Glad someone started a "100 things" thread on this board!

SINS NOIR
(Black movie sins):
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfoxduzSJwi0yun_U4kt1RQ

132: When your homeboy shows up to visit you at your girlfriends momma's house.. Offer him some strawbury soda you didn't pay for..

133: If your girl makes you tacos and none for herself.. means you put it down..

This is for Allah and it's going way out there sucka

134: Pound Cake made with 7UP sells quicker than plain pound cake.
135: If they don't want to buy your pound cake, come back minutes later and try to sell them some pillows.
136: If you're trying to sell a dress to a pretty female on the street and she asks you a question about the material that you can't answer CUSS HER MOTHA *beep* ASS OUT!
137: If you put in work back in the day, 15 years later when you get out of prison you will be rewarded with a BIG ASS TV and a PHAT VCR!
138: If your nickname is Looney Toon and you show that you have heart you will get SPANKED ON your BUTT NAKED ASS with a belt!

139. "Preferly" is not a real word.